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Let's move to Chipping Ongar, Essex Let's move to Chipping Ongar, Essex
(8 months later)
What's going for it? Chipping Ongar sounds like a euphemism dreamed up by Carry On scriptwriters. As in, "Ooh, he got me right in the Chipping Ongars." It is not. It is a place. A very pleasant, not to say very well-to-do place at that, which I'm sure would not forgive any association with Sid James. But such is the burden of having an amusing name (I should know). This market town is one of many spots that gives the lie to the one-dimensional reputation of Essex, a reputation tedious to all concerned. Yes, this is where Jade Goody once lived. Yes, it has a metropolitan gloss to its market town-ness that reveals its modern-day role as a dormitory town. But Ongar also has woody castle mounds, an incredible Saxon wood church and a railway station with a roaring fire. Until a couple of decades ago, the Central line extended as far as here, creating the slightly surreal experience of seeing a tube train crossing fields of cows. Now the Epping Ongar Railway keeps the route alive at weekends and on bank hols. John Betjeman once said that only one job would drag him from poetry: manager at Chipping Ongar railway station. He knew his lovely old towns, did Mr Betjeman. What's going for it? Chipping Ongar sounds like a euphemism dreamed up by Carry On scriptwriters. As in, "Ooh, he got me right in the Chipping Ongars." It is not. It is a place. A very pleasant, not to say very well-to-do place at that, which I'm sure would not forgive any association with Sid James. But such is the burden of having an amusing name (I should know). This market town is one of many spots that gives the lie to the one-dimensional reputation of Essex, a reputation tedious to all concerned. Yes, this is where Jade Goody once lived. Yes, it has a metropolitan gloss to its market town-ness that reveals its modern-day role as a dormitory town. But Ongar also has woody castle mounds, an incredible Saxon wood church and a railway station with a roaring fire. Until a couple of decades ago, the Central line extended as far as here, creating the slightly surreal experience of seeing a tube train crossing fields of cows. Now the Epping Ongar Railway keeps the route alive at weekends and on bank hols. John Betjeman once said that only one job would drag him from poetry: manager at Chipping Ongar railway station. He knew his lovely old towns, did Mr Betjeman.
The case against The A414: boy racer territory. Traffic can be chronic during rush hour and the school run. The case against The A414: boy racer territory. Traffic can be chronic during rush hour and the school run.
Well connected? Alas, poor, long-gone tube. However, you can drive to central London in just over an hour with a fair wind; to the M11 in less than 10 minutes; 15 minutes to the M25, Harlow (for the railway), Epping (Central line) and Brentwood (mainline); it's 20 minutes to Chelmsford, 30 to Stansted airport. Well connected? Alas, poor, long-gone tube. However, you can drive to central London in just over an hour with a fair wind; to the M11 in less than 10 minutes; 15 minutes to the M25, Harlow (for the railway), Epping (Central line) and Brentwood (mainline); it's 20 minutes to Chelmsford, 30 to Stansted airport.
Schools Primaries: the town's two, Chipping Ongar and Shelley, are both "satisfactory", Ofsted says; High Ongar, just outside, is "good". Secondaries: St John's CofE in Epping is "good"; Brentwood High "satisfactory" with a "good" sixth form; in Harlow, Stewards Academy is "good", Passmores "excellent". Schools Primaries: the town's two, Chipping Ongar and Shelley, are both "satisfactory", Ofsted says; High Ongar, just outside, is "good". Secondaries: St John's CofE in Epping is "good"; Brentwood High "satisfactory" with a "good" sixth form; in Harlow, Stewards Academy is "good", Passmores "excellent".
Hang out at… The Woodman for a lovely pint, then a grill at the Fat Turk. Hang out at… The Woodman for a lovely pint, then a grill at the Fat Turk.
Where to buy Chelmsford and Epping Roads, and streets to the north, are lined with big suburban piles called things such as the Gables. It's barn conversions a-gogo round here. Or head for the delightful nooks of the centre, with its period cottages, town houses and Victorian terraces. Where to buy Chelmsford and Epping Roads, and streets to the north, are lined with big suburban piles called things such as the Gables. It's barn conversions a-gogo round here. Or head for the delightful nooks of the centre, with its period cottages, town houses and Victorian terraces.
Market values Huge detacheds, £500,000-£800,000. Detacheds, £320,000-£500,000. Semis, £250,000-£460,000. Terraces and cottages, £215,000-£270,000. Market values Huge detacheds, £500,000-£800,000. Detacheds, £320,000-£500,000. Semis, £250,000-£460,000. Terraces and cottages, £215,000-£270,000.
Bargain of the week Not many. Two-bed, period terrace on the High Street, with courtyard, £220,000, with John Sear. Bargain of the week Not many. Two-bed, period terrace on the High Street, with courtyard, £220,000, with John Sear.
From the streetsFrom the streets
Jenny Main "It's a medieval town with a historic high street, including the motte of a medieval castle; the oldest wooden church in the world, reached by a path across fields – a beautiful walk on a summer's day; and a restored railway line with steam and diesel engines." Jenny Main "It's a medieval town with a historic high street, including the motte of a medieval castle; the oldest wooden church in the world, reached by a path across fields – a beautiful walk on a summer's day; and a restored railway line with steam and diesel engines."
Cathie Critchley "The Fat Turk is a lovely eatery with warm and friendly service – nothing is too much trouble and they never rush you out. Charming." Cathie Critchley "The Fat Turk is a lovely eatery with warm and friendly service – nothing is too much trouble and they never rush you out. Charming."
• Live in Chipping Ongar? Join the debate below.• Live in Chipping Ongar? Join the debate below.
Do you live in Charlton, London? Do you have a favourite haunt or pet hate? If so, email lets.move@guardian.co.uk by Tuesday 7 May.Do you live in Charlton, London? Do you have a favourite haunt or pet hate? If so, email lets.move@guardian.co.uk by Tuesday 7 May.