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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
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| New York Today: Subway Squabbling | New York Today: Subway Squabbling |
| (about 2 hours later) | |
| Updated, 8:34 a.m. | |
| Good morning on this frigid Friday. | Good morning on this frigid Friday. |
| The argument unfurled deep underground, on a No. 2 train barreling toward Times Square during a recent morning commute. | The argument unfurled deep underground, on a No. 2 train barreling toward Times Square during a recent morning commute. |
| After a man pushed his way onto the crowded train, one woman shouted, “You just shoved a woman!” | After a man pushed his way onto the crowded train, one woman shouted, “You just shoved a woman!” |
| “It’s rush hour, we all have to get in,” was his reply. | “It’s rush hour, we all have to get in,” was his reply. |
| The two continued to bicker as commuters looked on. The argument came to nothing and they stewed in silence, smushed together, until the next stop. | The two continued to bicker as commuters looked on. The argument came to nothing and they stewed in silence, smushed together, until the next stop. |
| Weekdays in December are often when the subway transports its largest number of riders, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. | Weekdays in December are often when the subway transports its largest number of riders, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. |
| Under that added stress, in an already overcrowded system, squabbling inevitably ensues. | Under that added stress, in an already overcrowded system, squabbling inevitably ensues. |
| “These conflicts tap into our reptilian brain,” said Brad Heckman, a conflict resolution specialist and chief executive of the New York Peace Institute. “It’s not unusual for them to trigger other feelings and bother you all day.” | “These conflicts tap into our reptilian brain,” said Brad Heckman, a conflict resolution specialist and chief executive of the New York Peace Institute. “It’s not unusual for them to trigger other feelings and bother you all day.” |
| Or worse. | Or worse. |
| There have been almost 300 assaults on the subway this year, according to the Police Department, up more than 15 percent from last year. | There have been almost 300 assaults on the subway this year, according to the Police Department, up more than 15 percent from last year. |
| Emerging from a subway spat unscathed (emotionally and physically) can be tricky. | Emerging from a subway spat unscathed (emotionally and physically) can be tricky. |
| So we turned to a few experts for advice. | So we turned to a few experts for advice. |
| • Do the opposite of what you might be feeling to defuse the encounter, Mr. Heckman said. “If you’re scowling, conjure up a smile. If you tense up, try to relax.” | • Do the opposite of what you might be feeling to defuse the encounter, Mr. Heckman said. “If you’re scowling, conjure up a smile. If you tense up, try to relax.” |
| • “Apologize,” said René A. Dreifuss, a mixed martial arts coach and owner of Radical MMA. But if the other person is highly aggressive, try not to look like prey, he said. “Be silent, look them calmly in the eye and then make distance.” | • “Apologize,” said René A. Dreifuss, a mixed martial arts coach and owner of Radical MMA. But if the other person is highly aggressive, try not to look like prey, he said. “Be silent, look them calmly in the eye and then make distance.” |
| • “Ignore it, don’t give air to the flame,” said Beth Fisher-Yoshida, a professor who teaches negotiation and conflict resolution at Columbia University. If it escalates, she said, change subway cars. | • “Ignore it, don’t give air to the flame,” said Beth Fisher-Yoshida, a professor who teaches negotiation and conflict resolution at Columbia University. If it escalates, she said, change subway cars. |
| • Soothe the situation with humor, said Judy Gold, a comedian who said she found herself arguing on the subway all the time. | • Soothe the situation with humor, said Judy Gold, a comedian who said she found herself arguing on the subway all the time. |
| “I do the self-deprecating thing, like, ‘Sorry, I have a fat …,’ ” she said, adding a word for her rear end. | “I do the self-deprecating thing, like, ‘Sorry, I have a fat …,’ ” she said, adding a word for her rear end. |
| And have some perspective. | And have some perspective. |
| “We’re in a dirty tube, underground,” she said, “so can’t we all just please get along?” | “We’re in a dirty tube, underground,” she said, “so can’t we all just please get along?” |
| Hard to argue with that. | Hard to argue with that. |
| Here’s what else is happening: | Here’s what else is happening: |
| The deep freeze continues. | The deep freeze continues. |
| We’ll have a high near 27 today, but the wind might make it feel as biting as 10. | We’ll have a high near 27 today, but the wind might make it feel as biting as 10. |
| Things should heat up to the 40s on Saturday, but expect it to be slushy with an unappetizing mix of rain and snow. | Things should heat up to the 40s on Saturday, but expect it to be slushy with an unappetizing mix of rain and snow. |
| Sunday brings us back into the 50s (what?), but it’ll be gray and quite wet. | Sunday brings us back into the 50s (what?), but it’ll be gray and quite wet. |
| We wish we had better news. Think happy thoughts. | We wish we had better news. Think happy thoughts. |
| • A former Rikers Island guard was found guilty in the death of an inmate, who died after the officer kicked him repeatedly in the head. [New York Times] | • A former Rikers Island guard was found guilty in the death of an inmate, who died after the officer kicked him repeatedly in the head. [New York Times] |
| • The deer that wandered out of a Harlem park will soon be killed. [New York Times] | • The deer that wandered out of a Harlem park will soon be killed. [New York Times] |
| • Mayor Bill de Blasio has been fined nearly $48,000 for campaign finance violations. [New York Times] | • Mayor Bill de Blasio has been fined nearly $48,000 for campaign finance violations. [New York Times] |
| • With the homeless issue, Christine C. Quinn, the former City Council speaker, gets back in the conversation. [New York Times] | • With the homeless issue, Christine C. Quinn, the former City Council speaker, gets back in the conversation. [New York Times] |
| • As president-elect, Franklin D. Roosevelt, had a home base in Manhattan. [New York Times] | • As president-elect, Franklin D. Roosevelt, had a home base in Manhattan. [New York Times] |
| • Here are the subway lines with the best, and worst, cell service and Wi-Fi. [Gothamist] | • Here are the subway lines with the best, and worst, cell service and Wi-Fi. [Gothamist] |
| • A dozen taxi drivers were charged with stealing nearly $40,000 from victims in a large credit card scam. [DNAinfo] | • A dozen taxi drivers were charged with stealing nearly $40,000 from victims in a large credit card scam. [DNAinfo] |
| • Swastikas and pro-Hitler graffiti have been found on several buildings on the Upper West Side. [West Side Rag] | • Swastikas and pro-Hitler graffiti have been found on several buildings on the Upper West Side. [West Side Rag] |
| • The weeklong series from WNYC, Mall Madness, continues. Here is Part V, “Profiting Off the American Dream.” [WNYC] | • The weeklong series from WNYC, Mall Madness, continues. Here is Part V, “Profiting Off the American Dream.” [WNYC] |
| • After being neglected by her mother and entering foster care, Shaqueana Peoples now makes it her mission to help others. [New York Times] | • After being neglected by her mother and entering foster care, Shaqueana Peoples now makes it her mission to help others. [New York Times] |
| • Today’s Metropolitan Diary: “Awe-Struck by a Sidewalk Shell Game” | • Today’s Metropolitan Diary: “Awe-Struck by a Sidewalk Shell Game” |
| • Scoreboard: Blackhawks swoop over Islanders, 5-4. Blues depress Devils, 5-2. Rangers shoot past Stars, 2-0. Warriors battle Knicks, 103-90. | • Scoreboard: Blackhawks swoop over Islanders, 5-4. Blues depress Devils, 5-2. Rangers shoot past Stars, 2-0. Warriors battle Knicks, 103-90. |
| • For a global look at what’s happening, see Your Friday Briefing. | • For a global look at what’s happening, see Your Friday Briefing. |
| • Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks about internet access in public housing at BronxWorks Betances Community Center in the Bronx. 1 p.m. | |
| • If you’re considering a pet as a holiday gift, more than two-dozen rescue groups will bring adoptable animals to the Metropolitan Pavilion in Midtown. 4 p.m. [Free] | • If you’re considering a pet as a holiday gift, more than two-dozen rescue groups will bring adoptable animals to the Metropolitan Pavilion in Midtown. 4 p.m. [Free] |
| • Build and play with Lego blocks at the weekend-long Brick Fest Live at City Point in Downtown Brooklyn. 5 p.m. [$12] | • Build and play with Lego blocks at the weekend-long Brick Fest Live at City Point in Downtown Brooklyn. 5 p.m. [$12] |
| • A night of Indonesian gamelan music at Flushing Town Hall in Queens. 7 p.m. [$16] | • A night of Indonesian gamelan music at Flushing Town Hall in Queens. 7 p.m. [$16] |
| • A concert of holiday music followed by caroling at Advent Lutheran Church on the Upper West Side. 8 p.m. [$30] | • A concert of holiday music followed by caroling at Advent Lutheran Church on the Upper West Side. 8 p.m. [$30] |
| • Comedians riff on the infamous “Star Wars Holiday Special” at Q.E.D. in Astoria, Queens. 11 p.m. [$10] | • Comedians riff on the infamous “Star Wars Holiday Special” at Q.E.D. in Astoria, Queens. 11 p.m. [$10] |
| • Islanders at Sabres, 7 p.m. (MSG+). | • Islanders at Sabres, 7 p.m. (MSG+). |
| Saturday | Saturday |
| • If you’re near Times Square this weekend, snap a photo of one of the mosaic revelers there and share it with us using the hashtag #tsqrevelers. | • If you’re near Times Square this weekend, snap a photo of one of the mosaic revelers there and share it with us using the hashtag #tsqrevelers. |
| • Join the Christmas Bird Count and share your findings at the Staten Island Museum. The museum opens at 10 a.m. [Free] | • Join the Christmas Bird Count and share your findings at the Staten Island Museum. The museum opens at 10 a.m. [Free] |
| • Roam the streets of Greenwich Village singing carols on the West Village Chorale’s caroling walk beginning at Judson Memorial Church in Greenwich Village. Noon. [Free, donations accepted] | • Roam the streets of Greenwich Village singing carols on the West Village Chorale’s caroling walk beginning at Judson Memorial Church in Greenwich Village. Noon. [Free, donations accepted] |
| • Visit the graves of stage actors by taking a trolley tour at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. 1 p.m. [$20] | • Visit the graves of stage actors by taking a trolley tour at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. 1 p.m. [$20] |
| • The Paul Taylor Dance Company performs at Queens Theater in Flushing Meadows-Corona Park. 2 and 8 p.m. [Tickets start at $25] | • The Paul Taylor Dance Company performs at Queens Theater in Flushing Meadows-Corona Park. 2 and 8 p.m. [Tickets start at $25] |
| • A holiday musical, “The First Noel,” performed by the Classical Theatre of Harlem at the Apollo in Harlem. 7:30 p.m. [Tickets start at $28] | • A holiday musical, “The First Noel,” performed by the Classical Theatre of Harlem at the Apollo in Harlem. 7:30 p.m. [Tickets start at $28] |
| • Devils at Senators, 7 p.m. (MSG+). Rangers at Predators, 8 p.m. (MSG2). Jets host Dolphins, 8:25 p.m. (NFLN). Knicks at Nuggets, 9 p.m. (MSG). | |
| • Watch “The New York Times Close Up,” featuring The Times’s David E. Sanger and other guests. Saturday at 10 p.m. and Sunday at 10 a.m. on NY1. | • Watch “The New York Times Close Up,” featuring The Times’s David E. Sanger and other guests. Saturday at 10 p.m. and Sunday at 10 a.m. on NY1. |
| Sunday | Sunday |
| • Celebrate the winter solstice with an afternoon of poetry and music at the Voelker Orth Museum in Murray Hill, Queens. 2 p.m. [$5] | • Celebrate the winter solstice with an afternoon of poetry and music at the Voelker Orth Museum in Murray Hill, Queens. 2 p.m. [$5] |
| • Watch the Ursids meteor shower with urban rangers at Wolfe’s Pond Park on Staten Island. 6 p.m. [Free] | • Watch the Ursids meteor shower with urban rangers at Wolfe’s Pond Park on Staten Island. 6 p.m. [Free] |
| • Bring your boombox to Unsilent Night, a musical caravan of boomboxes led by the composer Phil Kline, beginning at Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village. 6 p.m. [Free] | • Bring your boombox to Unsilent Night, a musical caravan of boomboxes led by the composer Phil Kline, beginning at Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village. 6 p.m. [Free] |
| • U.S. Olympic ice dancers perform at the Rink at Brookfield Place in Lower Manhattan. 6 p.m. [Free] | • U.S. Olympic ice dancers perform at the Rink at Brookfield Place in Lower Manhattan. 6 p.m. [Free] |
| • Put your culinary skills to work as a volunteer at the Open Source Soup Kitchen at 257 17th Street in Park Slope, Brooklyn. 7 p.m. [Free] | • Put your culinary skills to work as a volunteer at the Open Source Soup Kitchen at 257 17th Street in Park Slope, Brooklyn. 7 p.m. [Free] |
| • Six short plays, part of “48hours in … El Bronx,” are performed at Pregones Theater in the Bronx. 7 and 9 p.m. [Tickets start at $15] | • Six short plays, part of “48hours in … El Bronx,” are performed at Pregones Theater in the Bronx. 7 and 9 p.m. [Tickets start at $15] |
| • Giants host Lions, 1 p.m. (FOX). Nets at 76ers, 6 p.m. (YES). Islanders host Senators, 7 p.m. (MSG+). Rangers host Devils, 7:30 p.m. (MSG). | |
| • For more events, see The New York Times’s Arts & Entertainment guide. | • For more events, see The New York Times’s Arts & Entertainment guide. |
| • Subway and PATH | • Subway and PATH |
| • Railroads: L.I.R.R., Metro-North, N.J. Transit, Amtrak | • Railroads: L.I.R.R., Metro-North, N.J. Transit, Amtrak |
| • Roads: Check traffic map or radio report on the 1s or the 8s. | • Roads: Check traffic map or radio report on the 1s or the 8s. |
| • Alternate-side parking: in effect until Dec. 25. | • Alternate-side parking: in effect until Dec. 25. |
| • Ferries: Staten Island Ferry, New York Waterway, East River Ferry | • Ferries: Staten Island Ferry, New York Waterway, East River Ferry |
| • Airports: La Guardia, J.F.K., Newark | • Airports: La Guardia, J.F.K., Newark |
| • Weekend travel hassles: Check subway disruptions and a list of street closings. | • Weekend travel hassles: Check subway disruptions and a list of street closings. |
| While we’re on the subject of arguing on public transit, Staten Island Ferry commuters are still fighting over electrical outlets. This month, someone was almost stabbed in a dispute. | While we’re on the subject of arguing on public transit, Staten Island Ferry commuters are still fighting over electrical outlets. This month, someone was almost stabbed in a dispute. |
| Here’s a thought: For the health and safety of your friends and family who commute on the ferry, why not give them a portable charger as a holiday gift? | Here’s a thought: For the health and safety of your friends and family who commute on the ferry, why not give them a portable charger as a holiday gift? |
| We have other New York City present ideas, too. | We have other New York City present ideas, too. |
| Like this Rose Main Reading Room ceiling umbrella, to keep those borrowed books dry. | Like this Rose Main Reading Room ceiling umbrella, to keep those borrowed books dry. |
| A manspreading mug. (For the person on your list who can’t take a hint.) | A manspreading mug. (For the person on your list who can’t take a hint.) |
| This charmingly ugly sewer-cover mat. | This charmingly ugly sewer-cover mat. |
| Bronx Hot Sauce, made with peppers from our local community gardens. | Bronx Hot Sauce, made with peppers from our local community gardens. |
| And if you’re shopping for us, we’ll take an annual CitiBike membership. | And if you’re shopping for us, we’ll take an annual CitiBike membership. |
| More great gadgets and gear can be found at the Wirecutter and Sweethome. | More great gadgets and gear can be found at the Wirecutter and Sweethome. |
| And carefully considered suggestions for kids, experiences, books, travel and more are in The New York Times Gift Guide. | And carefully considered suggestions for kids, experiences, books, travel and more are in The New York Times Gift Guide. |
| New York Today is a weekday roundup that stays live from 6 a.m. till late morning. You can receive it via email. | New York Today is a weekday roundup that stays live from 6 a.m. till late morning. You can receive it via email. |
| For updates throughout the day, like us on Facebook. | For updates throughout the day, like us on Facebook. |
| What would you like to see here to start your day? Post a comment, email us at nytoday@nytimes.com, or reach us via Twitter using #NYToday. | What would you like to see here to start your day? Post a comment, email us at nytoday@nytimes.com, or reach us via Twitter using #NYToday. |
| Follow the New York Today columnists, Alexandra Levine and Jonathan Wolfe, on Twitter. | Follow the New York Today columnists, Alexandra Levine and Jonathan Wolfe, on Twitter. |
| You can find the latest New York Today at nytoday.com. | You can find the latest New York Today at nytoday.com. |