This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/17/i-am-not-saying-footballers-are-cissies-but-real-madrid
The article has changed 5 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
| Version 3 | Version 4 |
|---|---|
| I’m not saying that footballers are cissies, but... | I’m not saying that footballers are cissies, but... |
| (13 days later) | |
| Real Madrid footballer Marco Asensio has provoked widespread mirth for allegedly dropping out of a match after shaving his legs, “sustaining a pimple” that made it difficult for him to pull up his socks. Is that light breeze smelling faintly of Old Spice the ghosts of footballers past spinning in their graves? | Real Madrid footballer Marco Asensio has provoked widespread mirth for allegedly dropping out of a match after shaving his legs, “sustaining a pimple” that made it difficult for him to pull up his socks. Is that light breeze smelling faintly of Old Spice the ghosts of footballers past spinning in their graves? |
| Let’s give Asensio the benefit of the doubt – perhaps he’s just a little naive about how painful grooming techniques can get. As many women (and some men) know, a nick or bump while shaving your legs is nothing. Asensio needs to be forcibly dragged to a salon and given a thorough waxing. Legs, chest, armpits, “intimate areas” – all of it with either the warm honey wax (imagine being dipped in golden syrup and then set upon by a follicle-ripping psychopath) or the cheaper cold wax strips, which leave you begging for a more pleasant procedure, such as waterboarding. | Let’s give Asensio the benefit of the doubt – perhaps he’s just a little naive about how painful grooming techniques can get. As many women (and some men) know, a nick or bump while shaving your legs is nothing. Asensio needs to be forcibly dragged to a salon and given a thorough waxing. Legs, chest, armpits, “intimate areas” – all of it with either the warm honey wax (imagine being dipped in golden syrup and then set upon by a follicle-ripping psychopath) or the cheaper cold wax strips, which leave you begging for a more pleasant procedure, such as waterboarding. |
| All of which would make any sportsman go faster, especially when the tweezers come out for the “stray hairs” and he sprints, screaming, out of the salon. Next week, we’ll be discussing upper-lip electrolysis: how much would a Premier League footballer pay to avoid it? | All of which would make any sportsman go faster, especially when the tweezers come out for the “stray hairs” and he sprints, screaming, out of the salon. Next week, we’ll be discussing upper-lip electrolysis: how much would a Premier League footballer pay to avoid it? |
| Real Madrid | Real Madrid |
| Opinion | Opinion |
| comment | comment |
| Share on Facebook | Share on Facebook |
| Share on Twitter | Share on Twitter |
| Share via Email | Share via Email |
| Share on LinkedIn | Share on LinkedIn |
| Share on Pinterest | Share on Pinterest |
| Share on Google+ | Share on Google+ |
| Share on WhatsApp | Share on WhatsApp |
| Share on Messenger | Share on Messenger |
| Reuse this content | Reuse this content |