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| A gas station thief stole my purse, upending my life. Then someone found it and called me. | A gas station thief stole my purse, upending my life. Then someone found it and called me. |
| (about 7 hours later) | |
| When Michael Williams looked into the supersize trash can in his alley Friday evening before dumping his trash, he became the hero of my awful, stupid, very bad day. | When Michael Williams looked into the supersize trash can in his alley Friday evening before dumping his trash, he became the hero of my awful, stupid, very bad day. |
| Let’s go back to the beginning of this story, Friday morning. | Let’s go back to the beginning of this story, Friday morning. |
| My 13-year-old is on a tech ban — no mobile phone, no Xbox, no video games. Each book he reads sheds a day off the two-month ban. Long story, but you can guess how we arrived at the current situation. | My 13-year-old is on a tech ban — no mobile phone, no Xbox, no video games. Each book he reads sheds a day off the two-month ban. Long story, but you can guess how we arrived at the current situation. |
| Halfway to school Friday morning, he snuck his phone out of my purse (bonus — I have a spare now) and began frantically catching up with the machinations of seventh-grade drama he has been missing. Oh, poor outcast. | Halfway to school Friday morning, he snuck his phone out of my purse (bonus — I have a spare now) and began frantically catching up with the machinations of seventh-grade drama he has been missing. Oh, poor outcast. |
| The summer of pale — how Fortnite ate all the kids | The summer of pale — how Fortnite ate all the kids |
| It took me a few minutes to notice what was happening, but when I did, the phone went back in my purse, and his technology ban grew by two more days. The rest of the ride wasn’t pretty. | It took me a few minutes to notice what was happening, but when I did, the phone went back in my purse, and his technology ban grew by two more days. The rest of the ride wasn’t pretty. |
| So I was relieved to drop off my little demon and his carpool compadres and headed to my favorite gas station in Greenbelt, Md., where the drive-through carwash spews soap in three cotton-candy shades and gives me an unlikely, but effective, womb-like four minutes of therapy. | |
| It was cold outside, and I knew I’d hop right back into the car while the gas flowed, so I didn’t lock my door when I turned around to swipe my card and insert the pump handle into my tank. | It was cold outside, and I knew I’d hop right back into the car while the gas flowed, so I didn’t lock my door when I turned around to swipe my card and insert the pump handle into my tank. |
| That’s all the thief needed. No more than a minute. | That’s all the thief needed. No more than a minute. |
| When I slid right back into my warm car, the purse I left on my car seat was gone. | When I slid right back into my warm car, the purse I left on my car seat was gone. |
| There are warnings at gas pumps all over the region, cautioning people to lock their cars. I used to compile crime reports about this and always marveled at how dumb people are to leave their cars unlocked while they went inside the store to get their Dr Pepper and Doritos. | There are warnings at gas pumps all over the region, cautioning people to lock their cars. I used to compile crime reports about this and always marveled at how dumb people are to leave their cars unlocked while they went inside the store to get their Dr Pepper and Doritos. |
| But I was right there, my back against the car. Somehow, the purse snatcher managed to quietly open my car door, pull the purse out and make an escape without being noticed. Stunningly brazen. | But I was right there, my back against the car. Somehow, the purse snatcher managed to quietly open my car door, pull the purse out and make an escape without being noticed. Stunningly brazen. |
| “My purse!!!!!” I screamed. | “My purse!!!!!” I screamed. |
| I know. It’s just a purse. I was not hurt, no one was hurt. There are much bigger tragedies in daily life and in the world. But I worried about identity theft — something that could dog me for years. | I know. It’s just a purse. I was not hurt, no one was hurt. There are much bigger tragedies in daily life and in the world. But I worried about identity theft — something that could dog me for years. |
| The geography of pain for crime victims | The geography of pain for crime victims |
| And, like so many women, my purse keeps me running. The IDs, the credit cards, the Altoids, the tissues, the cash I owe the band teacher for a thing she bought for my kid, the paperwork for his medical records, my paperwork for a medical referral, the little gold statue of the Infant of Prague I’ve carried around for 20 years, my favorite lipstick, gift cards, my eyeglasses, my house keys, the little worry rock my son gave me when he was 3. | And, like so many women, my purse keeps me running. The IDs, the credit cards, the Altoids, the tissues, the cash I owe the band teacher for a thing she bought for my kid, the paperwork for his medical records, my paperwork for a medical referral, the little gold statue of the Infant of Prague I’ve carried around for 20 years, my favorite lipstick, gift cards, my eyeglasses, my house keys, the little worry rock my son gave me when he was 3. |
| And the phone I took from that boy, who is now 13. | And the phone I took from that boy, who is now 13. |
| I did all the things — called police and met two lovely officers from the Berwyn Heights Police Department, checked with the gas station to see if they have cameras (they do, they don’t work) and canceled all my credit cards and blocked the mobile phone. | I did all the things — called police and met two lovely officers from the Berwyn Heights Police Department, checked with the gas station to see if they have cameras (they do, they don’t work) and canceled all my credit cards and blocked the mobile phone. |
| I had to return to my son’s school and explain to him why I needed to borrow his house keys. | I had to return to my son’s school and explain to him why I needed to borrow his house keys. |
| I had the debit card I used to buy gas, my own phone and my car keys. It’s a weird feeling to try to be a productive adult with just those things. How do men do it? Oh yeah, their jeans have real pockets. | I had the debit card I used to buy gas, my own phone and my car keys. It’s a weird feeling to try to be a productive adult with just those things. How do men do it? Oh yeah, their jeans have real pockets. |
| That evening, I got an alert to a voice mail on my work phone, the kind I usually ignore on a Friday night because it’s someone telling me to go hang myself after they read my Friday column. But for some reason, I listened to it. | That evening, I got an alert to a voice mail on my work phone, the kind I usually ignore on a Friday night because it’s someone telling me to go hang myself after they read my Friday column. But for some reason, I listened to it. |
| “My husband actually found your purse, along with four others in our garbage can in Brookland today,” said Michele Collison, Michael Williams’s wife and the second hero of my day. | “My husband actually found your purse, along with four others in our garbage can in Brookland today,” said Michele Collison, Michael Williams’s wife and the second hero of my day. |
| Hooray! | Hooray! |
| Collison — a former reporter, it turns out — did some sleuthing and found me and another woman who also spent the day wandering around, lost and purseless. | |
| The other victim they found was a 79-year-old woman who was on her way to see a friend with cancer, going back and forth between her car and her University Park home loading up. | The other victim they found was a 79-year-old woman who was on her way to see a friend with cancer, going back and forth between her car and her University Park home loading up. |
| The thief was bold again, slipping into her car and quickly snatching her purse in the few minutes she was inside. | The thief was bold again, slipping into her car and quickly snatching her purse in the few minutes she was inside. |
| Hers was a small clutch. The thief took her cash and her ID, but there was little else to steal. Smart woman. | Hers was a small clutch. The thief took her cash and her ID, but there was little else to steal. Smart woman. |
| My bag was a mess. “It was all tossed around,” Collison said. Actually, that’s how it always looks, but I appreciated her kindness. | My bag was a mess. “It was all tossed around,” Collison said. Actually, that’s how it always looks, but I appreciated her kindness. |
| The thief left behind my eyeglasses, the lipsticks, most of the paperwork. But gone were the cash, my ID, my Macy’s gift card (they left the Whole Foods gift card), the keys, the little gold statue. And the boy’s phone. Ouch. | |
| I had a lovely chat with Williams and Collison. We figured out the people we have in common and exchanged New Orleans stories. Thanks, thief, for introducing me to them. | I had a lovely chat with Williams and Collison. We figured out the people we have in common and exchanged New Orleans stories. Thanks, thief, for introducing me to them. |
| And for giving me a chance to warn all my fellow purse-carriers to never leave them unattended, not even for a moment. | And for giving me a chance to warn all my fellow purse-carriers to never leave them unattended, not even for a moment. |
| And for asking everyone to take a quick look in the trash can before dumping your stuff. | And for asking everyone to take a quick look in the trash can before dumping your stuff. |
| And for making my son’s mobile phone ban a little easier. | And for making my son’s mobile phone ban a little easier. |
| Twitter: @petulad | Twitter: @petulad |
| Read more Petula Dvorak: | Read more Petula Dvorak: |
| Charlene has made her Walmart famous. What’s in it for her? | Charlene has made her Walmart famous. What’s in it for her? |
| A homeless baby was killed in a hotel that was supposed to be home | A homeless baby was killed in a hotel that was supposed to be home |
| From J-Lo to Nancy Pelosi, 2020 is the year of the #PowerMom | From J-Lo to Nancy Pelosi, 2020 is the year of the #PowerMom |
| Marching around with guns on your chest? That’s all about fear. | Marching around with guns on your chest? That’s all about fear. |