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England World Cup bid: 10 ways fans can console themselves England World Cup bid: 10 ways fans can console themselves
(about 9 hours later)
Russia will be hosting the 2018 World Cup. Not England. So how can fans console themselves about this sad episode?Russia will be hosting the 2018 World Cup. Not England. So how can fans console themselves about this sad episode?
England was all geared to host what promised to be the best World Cup yet, but instead there's only disappointment.England was all geared to host what promised to be the best World Cup yet, but instead there's only disappointment.
Here are 10 things the fans can think about while they dry their eyes.Here are 10 things the fans can think about while they dry their eyes.
1. The noise of the vuvuzelas will be so... much... further... away.1. The noise of the vuvuzelas will be so... much... further... away.
2. With the World Cup in Russia there will be no need to metaphorically deal with a poorly-performing England by "sending them to Siberia". They can instead be literally sent to Siberia.2. With the World Cup in Russia there will be no need to metaphorically deal with a poorly-performing England by "sending them to Siberia". They can instead be literally sent to Siberia.
3. David Baddiel and Frank Skinner will not be asked to re-record Three Lions. Unless it's with the lyric "football isn't coming home until at least 2026, but probably at least 2030".3. David Baddiel and Frank Skinner will not be asked to re-record Three Lions. Unless it's with the lyric "football isn't coming home until at least 2026, but probably at least 2030".
4. If you're an English engineering student, Qatar's plans for its stadiums in 2022 could form the basis for some fascinating lessons. Tutors could ask students to brainstorm ways to cool an open-air stadium from a summer average-high temperature of 40C to a more bearable 20-25C. Anyone cracking the problem probably has a bright future ahead of them.4. If you're an English engineering student, Qatar's plans for its stadiums in 2022 could form the basis for some fascinating lessons. Tutors could ask students to brainstorm ways to cool an open-air stadium from a summer average-high temperature of 40C to a more bearable 20-25C. Anyone cracking the problem probably has a bright future ahead of them.
5. Tabloid newspapers will have a field day with a Russian World Cup. "Fools Russian", "From Russia with glove", "War and pass" and sundry others.5. Tabloid newspapers will have a field day with a Russian World Cup. "Fools Russian", "From Russia with glove", "War and pass" and sundry others.
6. The FA won't be having to change the phone number for its supporters' group Englandfans, which ends 1966, or the Englandfans address which is PO Box 1966. Should save them a bob or two.6. The FA won't be having to change the phone number for its supporters' group Englandfans, which ends 1966, or the Englandfans address which is PO Box 1966. Should save them a bob or two.
7. There may, and this is really just unjustifiable rank speculation, but there may be some football fans in Scotland who were not behind the England bid. There may be some, and it's really almost fantasy here, but there may be some Scotland, Wales and even Northern Ireland fans who feel that the hype, puffery and hubris generated by an England-hosted World Cup would be just too much to bear.7. There may, and this is really just unjustifiable rank speculation, but there may be some football fans in Scotland who were not behind the England bid. There may be some, and it's really almost fantasy here, but there may be some Scotland, Wales and even Northern Ireland fans who feel that the hype, puffery and hubris generated by an England-hosted World Cup would be just too much to bear.
8. English football fans can at least commiserate with their hockey counterparts as England lost out to Holland in the race to host the 2014 Hockey World Cup.8. English football fans can at least commiserate with their hockey counterparts as England lost out to Holland in the race to host the 2014 Hockey World Cup.
9. It's been speculated many times that the England football team may respond badly to pressure. And a World Cup in England in 2018 would have been unbearable pressure. The "golden generation" of Hart, Gibbs, Jones, Smalling, Mattock, Wilshere, Henderson, Rodwell, Albrighton, and Carroll will thus be mentally freed up to win the final in Moscow. Probably. 9. It's been speculated many times that the England football team may respond badly to pressure. And a World Cup in England in 2018 would have been unbearable pressure. The "golden generation" of Hart, Gibbs, Jones, Smalling, Mattock, Clark, Wilshere, Henderson, Rodwell, Albrighton, and Carroll will thus be mentally freed up to win the final in Moscow. Probably.
10. You can continue watching THAT Geoff Hurst goal until your heart's content.10. You can continue watching THAT Geoff Hurst goal until your heart's content.
Send us your own consoling thoughts. A selection will be publishedSend us your own consoling thoughts. A selection will be published
It was pay back time for the Geoff Hurst goal. The Russian Linesman (yes I know Tofik Bakhramov was Azerbaijani but it's a good story).
Anon, UK
Well, this gives the UK media (which I do not blame for England not obtaining the FIFA nomination) full-rein to take FIFA apart over the next few years. It will also provide an opportunity for the same media to rip Russian and Qatari preparations to pieces and have an orgy of negativity directed overseas for once rather than internally!
Anthony Dunn, London
At least we will have some qualifying games to look forward to in 2016/2017.
Mark Walmsley, Bristol
Another nail in the coffin of the MK Stealers [a derogatory nickname for the Milton Keynes Dons], the FA's pet project. If MK hadn't been involved I'd be sick as a parrot, instead I'm absolutely elated.
Andy, Luton
Don't forget England are hosting the Rugby World Cup in 2015.
Paul V, Wittersham, Kent
There's always the Olympics.
James Tierney, Milan
Cost to tax payer - Nil. Thanks FIFA.
Ian Revans, Stone, UK
The World Cup organisers won't have to come up with a logo, only to set off cries that "my 10-year-old could've done better than that!"
Attila Emam, Kuala Lumpur
Number 7. Surely not.
Jim E, Edinburgh
Let's just start our own World Cup. And just invite teams we like.
Charles Carroll, Darwin, Australia
The crickets going well though
Nick Boorman, Perth, Australia