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Eric Pickles's mind strays to food as he defends planning shakeup Eric Pickles's mind strays to food as he defends planning shakeup
(6 months later)
The thoughts of Eric Pickles rarely stray far from food. On Tuesday he was in defensive mode as Tories tried to stop him loosening the planning laws for homeowners. I say loosening, but "abolishing" might be more appropriate.The thoughts of Eric Pickles rarely stray far from food. On Tuesday he was in defensive mode as Tories tried to stop him loosening the planning laws for homeowners. I say loosening, but "abolishing" might be more appropriate.
The new law would mean you could put up anything in your back garden, whatever the neighbours thought and whatever the council said. A copy of the Shard might be nice, maybe one-quarter height. Or a big wheel, which would allow your friends to spy on the neighbours' gardens. Fun for everyone! Or perhaps one of the new private prisons.The new law would mean you could put up anything in your back garden, whatever the neighbours thought and whatever the council said. A copy of the Shard might be nice, maybe one-quarter height. Or a big wheel, which would allow your friends to spy on the neighbours' gardens. Fun for everyone! Or perhaps one of the new private prisons.
Many Tory MPs are opposed to this measure. As Anne Main of St Albans put it, the new law would be "divisive and ruinous". Presumably most people would merely want a large conservatory. Or if they were more ambitious, a stately pleasure dome, a paintballing maze, or a Colditz-themed adventure park.Many Tory MPs are opposed to this measure. As Anne Main of St Albans put it, the new law would be "divisive and ruinous". Presumably most people would merely want a large conservatory. Or if they were more ambitious, a stately pleasure dome, a paintballing maze, or a Colditz-themed adventure park.
The notion is that this will unleash the productive power of the construction industry and turn our economy around, though very few people in the construction industry seem to think so. Nor do the planners. As Zak Goldsmith, a west London Tory, mused: "Planning is a curate's egg." (Once again an MP had misunderstood this phrase. When the bishop in the cartoon says he thinks the curate must have a bad egg, the curate replies: "Oh no, my lord, I assure you that parts of it are excellent." So a curate's egg is a thoroughly bad egg, but no one can bring themselves to say so.)The notion is that this will unleash the productive power of the construction industry and turn our economy around, though very few people in the construction industry seem to think so. Nor do the planners. As Zak Goldsmith, a west London Tory, mused: "Planning is a curate's egg." (Once again an MP had misunderstood this phrase. When the bishop in the cartoon says he thinks the curate must have a bad egg, the curate replies: "Oh no, my lord, I assure you that parts of it are excellent." So a curate's egg is a thoroughly bad egg, but no one can bring themselves to say so.)
Such subtleties were beyond Pickles, who replied: "I have always regarded local government as an omelette of happiness."Such subtleties were beyond Pickles, who replied: "I have always regarded local government as an omelette of happiness."
Oh dear. But then he was clearly outside his comfort zone. (Pickles's comfort zone is a very large padded chair, possibly at Rules restaurant, facing a brace of roast pheasant.) He said he had been given advice as a young MP: be sure that when the sun rises you are always in your own bed, and never get involved in planning. Now here he was (in planning; not in someone else's bed.)Oh dear. But then he was clearly outside his comfort zone. (Pickles's comfort zone is a very large padded chair, possibly at Rules restaurant, facing a brace of roast pheasant.) He said he had been given advice as a young MP: be sure that when the sun rises you are always in your own bed, and never get involved in planning. Now here he was (in planning; not in someone else's bed.)
The attacks from his own side kept coming. He more or less gave up speaking to the whole house, and faced the Tory benches, to the extent that Labour MPs yelled "what about us?" He sort of promised the Tories a sort of compromise later. There would, he promised, "be honeyed words" – food again. They would have another chance to vote next week. But he didn't say what the compromise might be, and didn't seem to have any idea himself.The attacks from his own side kept coming. He more or less gave up speaking to the whole house, and faced the Tory benches, to the extent that Labour MPs yelled "what about us?" He sort of promised the Tories a sort of compromise later. There would, he promised, "be honeyed words" – food again. They would have another chance to vote next week. But he didn't say what the compromise might be, and didn't seem to have any idea himself.
Things got worse when Hilary Benn, his opposite number, rose and declared that the "back gardens of England" were to be sacrificed to the government's failed economic policy. Why, the government couldn't even say if the new law applied only to gardens, or to curtilages, which is all the land attached to a dwelling. He challenged Pickles to say which. Pickles remained mute, possibly under the impression that a curtilage is what footballers tear before important matches.Things got worse when Hilary Benn, his opposite number, rose and declared that the "back gardens of England" were to be sacrificed to the government's failed economic policy. Why, the government couldn't even say if the new law applied only to gardens, or to curtilages, which is all the land attached to a dwelling. He challenged Pickles to say which. Pickles remained mute, possibly under the impression that a curtilage is what footballers tear before important matches.
In the end the government won by a reduced majority, the rebels hoping for words with a generous slathering of honey next week.In the end the government won by a reduced majority, the rebels hoping for words with a generous slathering of honey next week.
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