Simon Le Bon: is he qualified to criticise Blurred Lines?
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Version 0 of 1. <strong>Name:</strong> Simon Le Bon. <strong>Age:</strong> 55. Yes, really. <strong>Appearance:</strong> All-singing, all-guitar-, harmonica- and ocarina-playing New Romantic sex GOD <strong>Really?</strong> Yes, really. <strong>Now, why's he in the news? Tell me it's because he's divorcing Yasmin and is finally free, free, at last, to marry me. [Readies bridal eyeliner and frosted lipstick] </strong>I'm sorry, no. He has expressed disapproval of Robin Thicke's controversial Blurred Lines song and video. <strong>Another male celebrity opines on Blurred Lines? Come on then, what has Simon said? </strong>"The problem with [the] video is that it disempowered all the women in it … the theme of the song is, 'You say you don't want it but you do,' and that's quite scary if you carry it through, so I felt that was a mistake." <strong>I </strong>♥<strong> him very much. Though I </strong>♥<strong> every man who will say "disempowered" in public. </strong>Well, hang on – Duran Duran's videos weren't easily mistaken for empowering tracts either, were they? You remember, for example, Girls on Film? <strong>Yes. I know – it had a lady in virtually no undergarments falling into a paddling pool. But it's hardly the same. And Duran Duran weren't even there! They were on a stage somewhere, with dry ice keeping them – um – down. </strong>That was the censored version. The uncut one had girls riding a foam-covered nuclear warhead and pouring champagne over themselves after a remarkably affectionate pillowfight, followed by a spot of topless mud wrestling before they were hosed clean by a roadie. And I suspect the boys leapt off the stage and mingled during tea breaks. <strong>Oh. Maybe he wasn't really secretly sitting at home every evening waiting for me to walk past … </strong>I fear not. <strong>Still, the lyrics ("Give me shudders with a whisper / Take me high 'til I'm a shooting star") are almost endearing now. Also, he has been married to the same woman – curse her everlasting luck, grace and beauty – since 1985, which is almost 1,000 celebrity years, which must bespeak some degree of integrity and nebulous pro-womanity. </strong>And they've got three daughters. <strong>Exactly. All this must help us infer personal growth and feminist credentials.</strong> I believe in my sex god. <strong>Do say:</strong> "Do as I say, not as I do." <strong>Don't say:</strong> "Muddy hell!" Our editors' picks for the day's top news and commentary delivered to your inbox each morning. |