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George Clooney and the Daily Mail: can the man get any cooler? George Clooney and the Daily Mail: can the man get any cooler?
(35 minutes later)
It seems only a few months ago that IIt seems only a few months ago that I
was here celebrating George Clooney, his engagement to the humanwas here celebrating George Clooney, his engagement to the human
rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin and the positive effect that this wouldrights lawyer Amal Alamuddin and the positive effect that this would
have on his public image. (Guess what? It was.) And already there ishave on his public image. (Guess what? It was.) And already there is
cause to sing his praises again, as he rejects grudging attempts bycause to sing his praises again, as he rejects grudging attempts by
the Daily Mail to placate him over a false story which it publishedthe Daily Mail to placate him over a false story which it published
about his impending marriage. The UK tabloid had reported thatabout his impending marriage. The UK tabloid had reported that
Alamuddin’s mother, Baria, had made it public knowledge in BeirutAlamuddin’s mother, Baria, had made it public knowledge in Beirut
that she was against the wedding on religious grounds. Mentions werethat she was against the wedding on religious grounds. Mentions were
made of religious traditions ending in the death of the bride. Asmade of religious traditions ending in the death of the bride. As
mother-in-law jokes go, it was among the worst.mother-in-law jokes go, it was among the worst.
Clooney issued a statement damningClooney issued a statement damning
unequivocally the paper’s story and accusing it of incitement tounequivocally the paper’s story and accusing it of incitement to
religious violence: “We have family members all over the world, andreligious violence: “We have family members all over the world, and
the idea that someone would inflame any part of that world for thethe idea that someone would inflame any part of that world for the
sole reason of selling papers should be criminal.” As if that weresole reason of selling papers should be criminal.” As if that were
not robust enough, he has now refused to accept the apology that thenot robust enough, he has now refused to accept the apology that the
Mail issued in the wake of his original statement. His response citesMail issued in the wake of his original statement. His response cites
evidence that the apology itself, as well as the story thatevidence that the apology itself, as well as the story that
necessitated it, is a tissue of lies. “I thank the Mail for itsnecessitated it, is a tissue of lies. “I thank the Mail for its
apology,” he says, his magnanimity strangely amplified by whatapology,” he says, his magnanimity strangely amplified by what
follows: “Not that I would ever accept it, but because in doing sofollows: “Not that I would ever accept it, but because in doing so
they’ve exposed themselves as the worst kind of tabloid. One thatthey’ve exposed themselves as the worst kind of tabloid. One that
makes up its facts to the detriment of its readers and to all themakes up its facts to the detriment of its readers and to all the
publications that blindly reprint them.”publications that blindly reprint them.”
I want to cheer at that. Many beforeI want to cheer at that. Many before
him have accepted the fabrications of the tabloids as part and parcelhim have accepted the fabrications of the tabloids as part and parcel
of the tacit contract between celebrities and the media. Clooney,of the tacit contract between celebrities and the media. Clooney,
though, is willing to risk the animosity he will now engender fromthough, is willing to risk the animosity he will now engender from
this famously grudge-bearing organ. Think of the 16-page splash thatthis famously grudge-bearing organ. Think of the 16-page splash that
will result if he dares to expose so much as a dangling nasal hair,will result if he dares to expose so much as a dangling nasal hair,
let alone a cellulite-stippled thigh, in the proximity of alet alone a cellulite-stippled thigh, in the proximity of a
paparazzo’s long lens.paparazzo’s long lens.
As well as his general willingness toAs well as his general willingness to
stand his ground, there is also the no-nonsense tone of bothstand his ground, there is also the no-nonsense tone of both
statements, especially the new one. Several questions arise from it.statements, especially the new one. Several questions arise from it.
Can the man get any cooler? Could he parlay some of that coolnessCan the man get any cooler? Could he parlay some of that coolness
into his choice of film projects? And would he be willing to offerinto his choice of film projects? And would he be willing to offer
short courses to fellow celebrities in how to slap down one’sshort courses to fellow celebrities in how to slap down one’s
tabloid tormentors without inadvertently cultivating an air of “poortabloid tormentors without inadvertently cultivating an air of “poor
ickle me” or allowing some of the dirt to splash back onto one’sickle me” or allowing some of the dirt to splash back onto one’s
own shoes and trousers? Steve Coogan and Hugh Grant would surelyown shoes and trousers? Steve Coogan and Hugh Grant would surely
clear some space in their diaries to pop along to the local Marriottclear some space in their diaries to pop along to the local Marriott
Business Hotel for an afternoon’s PowerPoint presentation on theBusiness Hotel for an afternoon’s PowerPoint presentation on the
subject.subject.
Furthermore, could he hire out hisFurthermore, could he hire out his
services as a letter-writer so that we might all for a modest feeservices as a letter-writer so that we might all for a modest fee
take advantage of his directness and articulacy? (I bought a tower oftake advantage of his directness and articulacy? (I bought a tower of
plastic beakers from a leading supermarket last weekend. Each beakerplastic beakers from a leading supermarket last weekend. Each beaker
had a minuscule hole in the base. Imagine the sort of redress Clooneyhad a minuscule hole in the base. Imagine the sort of redress Clooney
could whip up with one of his sternly-worded dispatches!) could whip up with one of his sternly worded dispatches!)
Clooney has had to overcome so manyClooney has had to overcome so many
disadvantages in his life extravagant talent, wealth, intelligence disadvantages in his life extravagant talent, wealth, intelligence
and good looks but those are not the reasons to be cheerful about and good looks but those are not the reasons to be cheerful about
his existence today. Seeing old orders and hierarchies challenged,his existence today. Seeing old orders and hierarchies challenged,
even jeopardised, is a heartening thing. Clooney is using his owneven jeopardised, is a heartening thing. Clooney is using his own
power and clout to redefine the damaged dynamic that has existedpower and clout to redefine the damaged dynamic that has existed
since the days of gossip-columnist hatchet-jobs in old Hollywood.since the days of gossip-columnist hatchet-jobs in old Hollywood.
Unlike other celebrities who haveUnlike other celebrities who have
complained about the tabloids, it is not the attention itself Clooneycomplained about the tabloids, it is not the attention itself Clooney
resents but its fraudulent basis. His objections revolve less aroundresents but its fraudulent basis. His objections revolve less around
a defence of A-listers than regret over the decline in journalistica defence of A-listers than regret over the decline in journalistic
standards. (As he points out, his own father was a TV journalist.) Nostandards. (As he points out, his own father was a TV journalist.) No
one wants stars to be beyond criticism. It would be useful, though,one wants stars to be beyond criticism. It would be useful, though,
if any brickbats lobbed at them weren’t made of sponge—if if any brickbats lobbed at them weren’t made of sponge if
accusations aimed in their direction could be shown to be not merelyaccusations aimed in their direction could be shown to be not merely
in the public interest but factually true to boot.in the public interest but factually true to boot.