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| Ashley Madison: five people on getting caught up in the data breach | |
| (about 17 hours later) | |
| ‘I paid to delete my Ashley Madison account but I’m still on the database’ – Anonymous | ‘I paid to delete my Ashley Madison account but I’m still on the database’ – Anonymous |
| I joined Ashley Madison this year, during a very, very stressful period, both personally and professionally. But my intentions were never actually to meet another woman, and I quickly realised that this was not going to be a good way of meeting new people. | I joined Ashley Madison this year, during a very, very stressful period, both personally and professionally. But my intentions were never actually to meet another woman, and I quickly realised that this was not going to be a good way of meeting new people. |
| In total, I used the site for a single month, getting almost zero responses. Once I realised that it was going nowhere, and that I would have never left my family behind, I decided to just quit. So I paid my €19 (£15) to get rid of everything, deleted the mobile app and removed everything: email accounts, messages, etc. | In total, I used the site for a single month, getting almost zero responses. Once I realised that it was going nowhere, and that I would have never left my family behind, I decided to just quit. So I paid my €19 (£15) to get rid of everything, deleted the mobile app and removed everything: email accounts, messages, etc. |
| A month later, I learned about the leak from Brian Krebs. I have been working in the IT field since I left university back in 1999, and when the dump was finally made public, well: curiosity killed the cat. I decided to download the files. | A month later, I learned about the leak from Brian Krebs. I have been working in the IT field since I left university back in 1999, and when the dump was finally made public, well: curiosity killed the cat. I decided to download the files. |
| I felt a cold sweat when I saw my details in the dump. It was me, I knew that; it was not a hack, or a fake account. Needless to say, I opened all the databases up and started searching for more details, trying to see how deep they got. My credit card transactions were there, which linked to other tables with my full name, and even my GPS location. So much for the “full delete” – if Ashley Madison charged for a service they didn’t provide, I would like to know. | I felt a cold sweat when I saw my details in the dump. It was me, I knew that; it was not a hack, or a fake account. Needless to say, I opened all the databases up and started searching for more details, trying to see how deep they got. My credit card transactions were there, which linked to other tables with my full name, and even my GPS location. So much for the “full delete” – if Ashley Madison charged for a service they didn’t provide, I would like to know. |
| Over the last few days, my feelings have changed from fear to anger. Ethics aside, why did I get charged for deletion and then [was] still on the database? Why can they not just delete your fucking profile as if it never happened? | Over the last few days, my feelings have changed from fear to anger. Ethics aside, why did I get charged for deletion and then [was] still on the database? Why can they not just delete your fucking profile as if it never happened? |
| Then I decided to contact customer service and ask why I was there. A couple of days later, they told me: | Then I decided to contact customer service and ask why I was there. A couple of days later, they told me: |
| “Our records indicate that your account was deleted using the Full Profile Deletion option on 7 July, 2015. | “Our records indicate that your account was deleted using the Full Profile Deletion option on 7 July, 2015. |
| “At Ashley Madison your privacy is of the utmost importance to us. Rest assured that the feature you chose is the best way to make sure your profile is completely removed from our service… It is like you were never even here.” | “At Ashley Madison your privacy is of the utmost importance to us. Rest assured that the feature you chose is the best way to make sure your profile is completely removed from our service… It is like you were never even here.” |
| So why is my name in their database? | So why is my name in their database? |
| I plan to claim damages, if there are more like me. I definitely expect some money from them. What I did to my family is on me, but what they have done to me is wrong. And they won’t write a letter to my wife saying I never signed up, will they? | I plan to claim damages, if there are more like me. I definitely expect some money from them. What I did to my family is on me, but what they have done to me is wrong. And they won’t write a letter to my wife saying I never signed up, will they? |
| I haven’t told my wife. I don’t even know if I should. | I haven’t told my wife. I don’t even know if I should. |
| Related: Ten questions Ashley Madison needs to answer | Related: Ten questions Ashley Madison needs to answer |
| ‘It felt awful finding his address on there’ - Lydia, Albany, New York | ‘It felt awful finding his address on there’ - Lydia, Albany, New York |
| I looked up my fiance’s email address yesterday, mostly out of curiosity and also a nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He’s been better recently, but in the past he’s been super secretive with his phone. | I looked up my fiance’s email address yesterday, mostly out of curiosity and also a nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He’s been better recently, but in the past he’s been super secretive with his phone. |
| The first email I tried said that his name wasn’t on the list, and his information hadn’t been found. I felt a huge sense of relief. But then I remembered he has a second email address. I plugged that email in and, really, I was more expecting it to not be found than confirmed. But it came up as being on the list. My fiance’s a smart guy and I thought that at least he’d make up a new email address. | The first email I tried said that his name wasn’t on the list, and his information hadn’t been found. I felt a huge sense of relief. But then I remembered he has a second email address. I plugged that email in and, really, I was more expecting it to not be found than confirmed. But it came up as being on the list. My fiance’s a smart guy and I thought that at least he’d make up a new email address. |
| I think he will deny things. He may say that he created it before we got together three and a half years ago. But it’s a known site for people seeking affairs. This means he either cheated on me or he encouraged someone else to cheat on their partner. It’s a violation of trust, and once it’s gone it’s gone. | I think he will deny things. He may say that he created it before we got together three and a half years ago. But it’s a known site for people seeking affairs. This means he either cheated on me or he encouraged someone else to cheat on their partner. It’s a violation of trust, and once it’s gone it’s gone. |
| He may say that someone used his email and that someone else set it up. But I don’t think someone would have done that. It’s not like he’s a high-profile politician or athlete. It just seems highly unlikely that someone would be out to get your average Joe by setting up a fake profile. | He may say that someone used his email and that someone else set it up. But I don’t think someone would have done that. It’s not like he’s a high-profile politician or athlete. It just seems highly unlikely that someone would be out to get your average Joe by setting up a fake profile. |
| It felt awful finding his address on there. I still feel awful. We are engaged and planning a wedding. I’m really confused about why he would do it. I was trying to get him to have sex with me more. Why he would seek out affairs with other women I have no idea. | It felt awful finding his address on there. I still feel awful. We are engaged and planning a wedding. I’m really confused about why he would do it. I was trying to get him to have sex with me more. Why he would seek out affairs with other women I have no idea. |
| I’m planning on confronting him but not yet. I don’t have much support around me. Now, I’m looking for a job in my home town where my family lives and if I find one I’ll move back. We don’t have any property together, but we do have a few bank accounts that I’ll have to organise. | I’m planning on confronting him but not yet. I don’t have much support around me. Now, I’m looking for a job in my home town where my family lives and if I find one I’ll move back. We don’t have any property together, but we do have a few bank accounts that I’ll have to organise. |
| If he wants to win back my trust, he could log in and show me the account. I’m quite sure that like most sites that require an email, they offer a password retrieval system by sending a forgotten password to the email address on file. Then together, we could look at the page. I think that then it would be pretty obvious if it was a real or fake profile. | If he wants to win back my trust, he could log in and show me the account. I’m quite sure that like most sites that require an email, they offer a password retrieval system by sending a forgotten password to the email address on file. Then together, we could look at the page. I think that then it would be pretty obvious if it was a real or fake profile. |
| Related: Hackers release new Ashley Madison data targeting site's CEO and operators | Related: Hackers release new Ashley Madison data targeting site's CEO and operators |
| ‘I didn’t do anything to deserve the judgment and ridicule’ - Erin, 30 | ‘I didn’t do anything to deserve the judgment and ridicule’ - Erin, 30 |
| A few years ago I found out my husband was trying to have an affair. He had created a profile on Ashley Madison. I was devastated. Of course I only told my closest friends. Now the names of Ashley Madison members could be posted online or made public. My local radio station is even going to list the names of local people. Some would say my husband deserves this as a consequence of his actions. But do I? My name is attached to his. I didn’t do anything to deserve the potential judgment and ridicule by my friends and family who aren’t aware. | A few years ago I found out my husband was trying to have an affair. He had created a profile on Ashley Madison. I was devastated. Of course I only told my closest friends. Now the names of Ashley Madison members could be posted online or made public. My local radio station is even going to list the names of local people. Some would say my husband deserves this as a consequence of his actions. But do I? My name is attached to his. I didn’t do anything to deserve the potential judgment and ridicule by my friends and family who aren’t aware. |
| We don’t have any kids at this time so I dodged a bullet there. Children with parents in similar circumstances definitely do not deserve it. This is an issue I feel like isn’t getting enough attention amongst all the media buzz right now. | We don’t have any kids at this time so I dodged a bullet there. Children with parents in similar circumstances definitely do not deserve it. This is an issue I feel like isn’t getting enough attention amongst all the media buzz right now. |
| My husband and I are still doing the best we can. Of course having to deal with this reminds me of all the hurt and pain caused when I found out he was trying to cheat a few years ago. Right now all we can do is just wait and see if the names become public and if people will actually post lists that people we know will read. If that happens and people we love and care about find out, I can only hope they will love and care about us enough to know not to be harsh and try to be understanding. | My husband and I are still doing the best we can. Of course having to deal with this reminds me of all the hurt and pain caused when I found out he was trying to cheat a few years ago. Right now all we can do is just wait and see if the names become public and if people will actually post lists that people we know will read. If that happens and people we love and care about find out, I can only hope they will love and care about us enough to know not to be harsh and try to be understanding. |
| ‘I heard the site was mostly fake women, this proves it’ – Anonymous, 40, New Jersey | ‘I heard the site was mostly fake women, this proves it’ – Anonymous, 40, New Jersey |
| I looked up my husband’s email and he was on there. I confronted him and he denied it. We both went to the Ashley Madison site together and there was an option to reset the password. We entered his email and lo and behold we received a link to reset the password. | I looked up my husband’s email and he was on there. I confronted him and he denied it. We both went to the Ashley Madison site together and there was an option to reset the password. We entered his email and lo and behold we received a link to reset the password. |
| When we reset the password and logged in, his account was for a woman, and very attractive woman with a fake photograph. | When we reset the password and logged in, his account was for a woman, and very attractive woman with a fake photograph. |
| I had heard that the website was mostly fake women, and this proves it. I think a lot of emails were stolen and used to create accounts, as my husband’s was. | I had heard that the website was mostly fake women, and this proves it. I think a lot of emails were stolen and used to create accounts, as my husband’s was. |
| ‘Just because your email is on it doesn’t mean you’re an adulterer’ – Anonymous, 31, London | ‘Just because your email is on it doesn’t mean you’re an adulterer’ – Anonymous, 31, London |
| I signed up years ago, when they first launched in the UK. I had a girlfriend at the time, but wasn’t looking to cheat. I just wanted to see what it was all about as there were lots of articles in the papers about it at the time and I couldn’t quite believe it existed. | I signed up years ago, when they first launched in the UK. I had a girlfriend at the time, but wasn’t looking to cheat. I just wanted to see what it was all about as there were lots of articles in the papers about it at the time and I couldn’t quite believe it existed. |
| But I saw it for what it was, which is a smattering of pretty sad people and a vast trawl of evidently fake accounts and prostitutes. After about 10 minutes I found out they wouldn’t delete your account without paying, so I just logged off and forgot about it. I didn’t have a profile, so didn’t give them my credit cards, photos or anything like that, just my email address that was needed to access the site. | But I saw it for what it was, which is a smattering of pretty sad people and a vast trawl of evidently fake accounts and prostitutes. After about 10 minutes I found out they wouldn’t delete your account without paying, so I just logged off and forgot about it. I didn’t have a profile, so didn’t give them my credit cards, photos or anything like that, just my email address that was needed to access the site. |
| When the hack happened I checked to see if my email address was still there. It is on the list. The irony that the hack was protesting the lack of a delete function is not lost on me. The trouble for me is that I’m now married with kids. I’m pretty scared that my wife, or someone else, will check my email address and assume I signed up much more recently than I did. | When the hack happened I checked to see if my email address was still there. It is on the list. The irony that the hack was protesting the lack of a delete function is not lost on me. The trouble for me is that I’m now married with kids. I’m pretty scared that my wife, or someone else, will check my email address and assume I signed up much more recently than I did. |
| I think it’s pretty abysmal. It also doesn’t tell the full story. Email being present means you’re an adulterer is just wrong. I’m sure that the vast majority of people who signed up were just like me, but they’re not being reported on. Headlines such as ‘1.2m UK adulterers’ ID leaked’ are just not accurate. | I think it’s pretty abysmal. It also doesn’t tell the full story. Email being present means you’re an adulterer is just wrong. I’m sure that the vast majority of people who signed up were just like me, but they’re not being reported on. Headlines such as ‘1.2m UK adulterers’ ID leaked’ are just not accurate. |
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