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Gay, straight, bi or none of the above? How to describe your sexuality Gay, straight, bi or none of the above? How to describe your sexuality
(about 1 hour later)
Although some of us can easily describe ourselves as gay, straight or bisexual, other people find these static labels inadequate. A recent YouGov survey found that almost half of young people aged between 18 and 24 in the UK don’t consider themselves exclusively gay or straight. Instead, they identify with more “open-minded” definitions. Some of us can easily describe ourselves as gay, straight or bisexual, but other people find these static labels inadequate. A recent YouGov survey found that almost half of young people aged between 18 and 24 in the UK do not consider themselves exclusively gay or straight. Instead, they identify with more “open-minded” definitions.
The Kinsey scale challenges the three dominant categories by describing a person’s sexuality on a scale of 0 - 6. A value of 0 represents exclusively heterosexual, 3 equally heterosexual and homosexual, and 6 exclusively homosexual. The Kinsey scale challenges the three dominant categories by describing a person’s sexuality on a scale of zero to six. Zero represents exclusively heterosexual, three equally heterosexual and homosexual, and six exclusively homosexual.
We asked people to tell us about their sexual preferences, history, behaviours, thoughts and beliefs, and then asked them to plot themselves somewhere along the Kinsey heterosexual-homosexual scale. We asked people to tell us about their sexual preferences, history, behaviour, thoughts and beliefs, and then asked them to plot themselves on the Kinseyscale.
Here’s what they said.Here’s what they said.
I am a woman and I love men
Lisbon: ‘I am an open minded person, but I know I am 100% heterosexual’Lisbon: ‘I am an open minded person, but I know I am 100% heterosexual’
I have lots of homosexual friends and have experienced flirtations and attraction to the same gender. But when it comes to sexual desire, I have no doubts who I prefer.I have lots of homosexual friends and have experienced flirtations and attraction to the same gender. But when it comes to sexual desire, I have no doubts who I prefer.
Started to think about sex when I was about nine years old. I think it is a question of understanding your own nature, by thinking and testing, and then just be courageous to be who you are. Exceptions? Sure. You certainly never know what may happen when you meet exceptional people. I am a woman and I love men, and quoting Dangerous Liaisons’ Vicomte de Valmont: “It’s beyond my control.” I started to think about sex when I was about nine years old. I think it is a question of understanding your own nature, by thinking and testing, and then just be courageous to be who you are. Exceptions? Sure. You certainly never know what may happen when you meet exceptional people. I am a woman and I love men, and quoting Dangerous Liaisons’ Vicomte de Valmont: “It’s beyond my control.”
Freedom to choose is the most important ingredient to reach a healthy society. The imposition of certain behavioural codes is damaging and does not help people to be who they are, particularly if they do not fit prescribed categories.Freedom to choose is the most important ingredient to reach a healthy society. The imposition of certain behavioural codes is damaging and does not help people to be who they are, particularly if they do not fit prescribed categories.
I am a woman and I love men Kinsey rating: zero
Kinsey rating: 0
Beth: ‘It’s very possible I could one day meet and fall in love with a woman’Beth: ‘It’s very possible I could one day meet and fall in love with a woman’
The things I love about my husband have nothing to do with him being a man but the person he is, so those things could just as easily be found in a woman. I have only ever been with men but I believe it’s very possible that I could one day meet and fall in love with a woman.The things I love about my husband have nothing to do with him being a man but the person he is, so those things could just as easily be found in a woman. I have only ever been with men but I believe it’s very possible that I could one day meet and fall in love with a woman.
Sexuality cannot fit into a box. Surely attraction and love has more to do with the person than their gender? Things can change in life and you are attracted to people for such a vast variety of reasons, some of which we are not even aware of that surely ticking a box cannot sum up that experience.Sexuality cannot fit into a box. Surely attraction and love has more to do with the person than their gender? Things can change in life and you are attracted to people for such a vast variety of reasons, some of which we are not even aware of that surely ticking a box cannot sum up that experience.
I am a Christian who was always taught that homosexuality was a sin. The longer I’ve been a Christian and the more I’ve thought about it and recognised that I’m allowed to question things. I now believe that there is nothing wrong with it, but that I believe God loves commitment, love and a serving heart in a relationship. I think it’s a terrible thing that Christians including myself have made people feel they are not loved and accepted by God because of who they’re attracted to. Even as I say this, I recognise how ridiculous it sounds.I am a Christian who was always taught that homosexuality was a sin. The longer I’ve been a Christian and the more I’ve thought about it and recognised that I’m allowed to question things. I now believe that there is nothing wrong with it, but that I believe God loves commitment, love and a serving heart in a relationship. I think it’s a terrible thing that Christians including myself have made people feel they are not loved and accepted by God because of who they’re attracted to. Even as I say this, I recognise how ridiculous it sounds.
Kinsey rating: 1 Kinsey rating: one
Things can change in life and you are attracted to people for such a vast variety of reasonsThings can change in life and you are attracted to people for such a vast variety of reasons
Jack: ’I have no interest in a relationship with a man, but the thought of kissing or even giving oral sex to another male is one I have often found pleasurable’ Jack: ‘I have no interest in a relationship with a man, but the thought of kissing or even giving oral sex to another male is one I have often found pleasurable’
While I am a heterosexual, I have always found lesbian pornography more arousing than the other genres of pornography. But I have always felt I was heterosexual.While I am a heterosexual, I have always found lesbian pornography more arousing than the other genres of pornography. But I have always felt I was heterosexual.
As a teenager there was the odd doubt, mostly because I was one of those loner, oddball types at school and being weird was often seen as a symptom – I use the term symptom because being gay was seen effectively as an illness at my school – of being gay. But I knew deep down I was heterosexual.As a teenager there was the odd doubt, mostly because I was one of those loner, oddball types at school and being weird was often seen as a symptom – I use the term symptom because being gay was seen effectively as an illness at my school – of being gay. But I knew deep down I was heterosexual.
With the statement that sexuality exists along a continuum rather than a 0 or 6 – heterosexual or homosexual, I do believe sexuality is a fluid thing. Everyone has different preferences and fetishes and there’s no reason why people’s fantasies should only apply to one gender. With the statement that sexuality exists along a continuum rather than a zero or a six, heterosexual or homosexual, I do believe sexuality is a fluid thing. Everyone has different preferences and fetishes and there’s no reason why people’s fantasies should only apply to one gender.
While I have no interest in a relationship with a man, the thought of kissing or even giving oral sex to another male is one I have often found pleasurable.While I have no interest in a relationship with a man, the thought of kissing or even giving oral sex to another male is one I have often found pleasurable.
Kinsey rating: one
Sexuality depends very much on your social conditioning, religion and political viewsSexuality depends very much on your social conditioning, religion and political views
Kinsey rating: 1 Matthew: ‘If I were single I would be open to exploring my sexuality in a way I never did when younger’
Matthew: ‘If I were single I would be open to exploring my sexuality in a way I never did when younger.’
I’m a straight man and and all my relationships have been with women. As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that I avoided potential same sex encounters in my younger days due to an almost conditioned distaste. That the idea of homosexuality was simply wrong.I’m a straight man and and all my relationships have been with women. As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that I avoided potential same sex encounters in my younger days due to an almost conditioned distaste. That the idea of homosexuality was simply wrong.
Although I am mainly attracted to women, if I were single I would be open to exploring my sexuality in a way I never did when younger. So my Kinsey score of one could become a two: certainly, my fantasies are not always heterosexual. Although I am mainly attracted to women, if I were single I would be open to exploring my sexuality in a way I never did when younger. So my Kinsey score of one could become a two. Certainly my fantasies are not always heterosexual.
Although openness to sexuality depends very much on your social conditioning, religion and political views. In the absence of these factors, it would be interesting to see what instinct dictates. I think the western world’s view on sexuality is changing for the better. Although openness to sexuality depends very much on your social conditioning, religion and political views, in the absence of these factors, it would be interesting to see what instinct dictates. I think the western world’s view on sexuality is changing for the better.
Kinsey rating: 1 Kinsey rating: one
Thomas: ‘Only when I was comfortably in a relationship with my current girlfriend did I have time to reflect on my thoughts towards men.’ Thomas: ‘Only when I was comfortably in a relationship with my current girlfriend did I have time to reflect on my thoughts towards men’
Although I identify as bisexual, my tendency is towards the opposite sex. In saying that, I am open to the possibility of this changing over time and with new experiences.Although I identify as bisexual, my tendency is towards the opposite sex. In saying that, I am open to the possibility of this changing over time and with new experiences.
At present I’m in love with a girl whom I may end up with as a life partner. However, nothing is certain and I wouldn’t avoid homosexual encounters if this ceased to be the case.At present I’m in love with a girl whom I may end up with as a life partner. However, nothing is certain and I wouldn’t avoid homosexual encounters if this ceased to be the case.
Until around 12 months ago I didn’t really consider myself bisexual. I’d always had sexual fantasies about certain men but these were few and far between compared to my sexual desires towards women. It was only when I was comfortably in a relationship with my current girlfriend that I had the time to reflect on my thoughts towards men.Until around 12 months ago I didn’t really consider myself bisexual. I’d always had sexual fantasies about certain men but these were few and far between compared to my sexual desires towards women. It was only when I was comfortably in a relationship with my current girlfriend that I had the time to reflect on my thoughts towards men.
I’d like to become sexually involved with a man ... I can’t see myself ending up in a long-term relationship with a man.I’d like to become sexually involved with a man ... I can’t see myself ending up in a long-term relationship with a man.
Having sexual gratification without constantly seeking out a new sexual partner gives you the space to reflect on your own sexuality.Having sexual gratification without constantly seeking out a new sexual partner gives you the space to reflect on your own sexuality.
It hasn’t changed anything for our relationship and she is totally aware and fine with who I am. For me it wasn’t so much about engaging the desires but rather acknowledging that they make up part of my sexuality and ultimately who I am. I would hate to think that a part of me would need to be kept hidden, even if it appears irrelevant to my current situation.It hasn’t changed anything for our relationship and she is totally aware and fine with who I am. For me it wasn’t so much about engaging the desires but rather acknowledging that they make up part of my sexuality and ultimately who I am. I would hate to think that a part of me would need to be kept hidden, even if it appears irrelevant to my current situation.
I agree with the statement that sexuality exists along a continuum as the rigidity of 0-6 negates the nuance and changeability of sexuality. I believe that a particular context can affect one’s sexuality. I think that the more open one is to the malleability of their own sexuality, the more likely they are to entertain the idea of sexuality outside of the binary. I agree with the statement that sexuality exists along a continuum as the rigidity of zero-to-six negates the nuance and changeability of sexuality. I believe that a particular context can affect one’s sexuality. I think that the more open one is to the malleability of their own sexuality, the more likely they are to entertain the idea of sexuality outside of the binary.
I think that this discourse needs to be encouraged more and more to combat homophobia.I think that this discourse needs to be encouraged more and more to combat homophobia.
Kinsey rating: 2 Kinsey rating: two
Steve: ‘Sometimes I find myself more attracted to men than usual, sometimes I really don’t’Steve: ‘Sometimes I find myself more attracted to men than usual, sometimes I really don’t’
I fantasise about men, I’ve kissed men, and at some point I’d like to become sexually involved with a man. But at the same time I can’t see myself ending up in a long-term relationship with a man.That being said, I have a sort of “whatever will be, will be” approach to the gender and sexuality of my future romantic prospects. I identify as bisexual. I started doing this in my early twenties, just after leaving university. I’d had some inkling of the fact that I liked boys since I was a teenager, but coming from an armed forces background I’d never really thought to explore this further.I fantasise about men, I’ve kissed men, and at some point I’d like to become sexually involved with a man. But at the same time I can’t see myself ending up in a long-term relationship with a man.That being said, I have a sort of “whatever will be, will be” approach to the gender and sexuality of my future romantic prospects. I identify as bisexual. I started doing this in my early twenties, just after leaving university. I’d had some inkling of the fact that I liked boys since I was a teenager, but coming from an armed forces background I’d never really thought to explore this further.
Being at university around other young, open-minded people allowed me to think about my sexuality and to discuss it with others. People who say: “I’m straight” or: “I’m gay” are allowed to do whatever they want, absolutely. At the same time though, if that person began to have feelings for someone outside of their professed gender or sexuality, that sets them up for a pretty hard time trying to work through those feelings. Being at university around other young, open-minded people allowed me to think about my sexuality and to discuss it with others. People who say “I’m straight” or “I’m gay” are allowed to do whatever they want, absolutely. At the same time though, if that person began to have feelings for someone outside of their professed gender or sexuality, that sets them up for a pretty hard time trying to work through those feelings.
I hope that further down the line it continues to be more socially acceptable to have an undefined sexuality.I hope that further down the line it continues to be more socially acceptable to have an undefined sexuality.
I don’t think that this “Kinsey number” is something immutable, either. Sometimes I find myself more attracted to men than usual, sometimes I really don’t. The Kinsey scale should only be there as an illustrative example of the fluidity of sexuality, not some other peg to hang your sex hat on. I don’t think that this Kinsey number is something immutable, either. Sometimes I find myself more attracted to men than usual, sometimes I really don’t. The Kinsey scale should only be there as an illustrative example of the fluidity of sexuality, not some other peg to hang your sex hat on.
I’ve not “come out” to many people. I’ve not come out to any family members, for example. For the time being, and unless I end up in a relationship with a man whom I’d like to meet my family, I don’t see the point. Whom I have relationships with, whom I sleep with, is almost completely irrelevant to how I’d like people to interact with me. I’ve not come out to many people. I’ve not come out to any family members, for example. For the time being, and unless I end up in a relationship with a man whom I’d like to meet my family, I don’t see the point. Whom I have relationships with, whom I sleep with, is almost completely irrelevant to how I’d like people to interact with me.
Kinsey rating: 2 Kinsey rating: two
Lauren: ‘Although now married to a man, I continue to be attracted to both sexes more or less equally’Lauren: ‘Although now married to a man, I continue to be attracted to both sexes more or less equally’
I have had relationships with both men and women and, although now married to a man, I continue to be attracted to both sexes, more or less equally.I have had relationships with both men and women and, although now married to a man, I continue to be attracted to both sexes, more or less equally.
I think we are subject to historical social constraints that tell us we should be 100% one way or another however if you look far enough back in history or look at some of closest relatives in the animal kingdom, for example bonobo monkeys, we see that sexuality has often been a lot more fluid than it has been in the last 200 years.I think we are subject to historical social constraints that tell us we should be 100% one way or another however if you look far enough back in history or look at some of closest relatives in the animal kingdom, for example bonobo monkeys, we see that sexuality has often been a lot more fluid than it has been in the last 200 years.
I hope that further down the line it continues to be more socially acceptable to have an undefined sexuality and that we move away entirely from someone’s sexuality being of any interest to anyone at all. It should just be as boring and run of the mill as having dark hair versus blonde hair or freckles instead of tanned skin.I hope that further down the line it continues to be more socially acceptable to have an undefined sexuality and that we move away entirely from someone’s sexuality being of any interest to anyone at all. It should just be as boring and run of the mill as having dark hair versus blonde hair or freckles instead of tanned skin.
Kinsey rating: 3 Kinsey rating: three
Megan: ‘I don’t believe that labels when it comes to sexuality’ Megan: ‘I don’t believe in labels when it comes to sexuality’
I don’t consider myself to have a constant, assured preference for either gender, in the sense that it varies with time and circumstances.I don’t consider myself to have a constant, assured preference for either gender, in the sense that it varies with time and circumstances.
Personally, I don’t believe that labels when it comes to sexuality, I see it more as a spectrum than anything else. Each individual has the right to explore their own sexual or romantic preferences without having to label themselves as homo or heterosexual, which I think can be quite negative. Personally, I don’t believe in labels when it comes to sexuality, I see it more as a spectrum than anything else. Each individual has the right to explore their own sexual or romantic preferences without having to label themselves as homo or heterosexual, which I think can be quite negative.
I only have romantic fantasies about women, but I have sexual fantasies about men and womenI only have romantic fantasies about women, but I have sexual fantasies about men and women
Kinsey rating: 3 Kinsey rating: three
Beth: ‘My ideas and feelings about my sexuality have been constantly changing since I was aware of having any sexuality’Beth: ‘My ideas and feelings about my sexuality have been constantly changing since I was aware of having any sexuality’
I have only had relationships with woman and only have romantic fantasies about women. However, I have sexual fantasies about men and women and wouldn’t be confused or surprised if I met a man I wanted a romantic relationship with.I have only had relationships with woman and only have romantic fantasies about women. However, I have sexual fantasies about men and women and wouldn’t be confused or surprised if I met a man I wanted a romantic relationship with.
I realised I was attracted to women when I was around 13, and men around 19. But I think my ideas and feelings about my sexuality have been constantly changing since I was aware of having any sexuality. Because people in-between exist. I realised I was attracted to women when I was around 13, and men around 19. But I think my ideas and feelings about my sexuality have been constantly changing since I was aware of having any sexuality. Because people in between exist.
I also don’t believe gender is binary, and gender expression is not always aligned with sex. I’m not really talking about transgendered people, but people who identify as one sex but their gender expression aligns with society’s idea of the ‘opposite’ sex. I think that this means that people can find themselves attracted to people of all sexes, even if they have a preference for masculine or feminine people.I also don’t believe gender is binary, and gender expression is not always aligned with sex. I’m not really talking about transgendered people, but people who identify as one sex but their gender expression aligns with society’s idea of the ‘opposite’ sex. I think that this means that people can find themselves attracted to people of all sexes, even if they have a preference for masculine or feminine people.
Kinsey rating: 4 Kinsey rating: four
Olivia: ‘The majority of my relationships have been lesbian, but I do still find the opposite sex attractive’Olivia: ‘The majority of my relationships have been lesbian, but I do still find the opposite sex attractive’
I am a bisexual woman, with slightly more homosexual than heterosexual leanings; I often say I am 60 percent homosexual, 40 percent heterosexual. I have been in a committed relationship with a woman for the last 5 years. The majority of my relationships have been lesbian, but I do still find the opposite sex attractive. I am a bisexual woman, with slightly more homosexual than heterosexual leanings; I often say I am 60% homosexual, 40% heterosexual. I have been in a committed relationship with a woman for the last five years. The majority of my relationships have been lesbian, but I do still find the opposite sex attractive.
I decided on my sexuality age 18 after many years of torturing myself for not falling cleanly on one side of the fence or the other. I didn’t believe it was possible to be genuinely bisexual.I decided on my sexuality age 18 after many years of torturing myself for not falling cleanly on one side of the fence or the other. I didn’t believe it was possible to be genuinely bisexual.
I believe our sexuality is constantly evolving as we live our lives. Which does not mean that I think we choose our orientation, I think that we are all born with the potential to fall in love with anyone of any gender or sexuality. My Kinsey rating has changed over the last decade since I first discovered I was interested in women when I was about 15 or 16 years-old. I preferred boys when I was 10 years old or so I believe our sexuality is constantly evolving as we live our lives. Which does not mean that I think we choose our orientation, I think that we are all born with the potential to fall in love with anyone of any gender or sexuality. My Kinsey rating has changed over the last decade since I first discovered I was interested in women when I was about 15 or 16 years old. I preferred boys when I was 10 years old or so
Kinsey rating: 4 Kinsey rating: four
Jack: ‘I feel some kind of curiosity for women and I wouldn’t mind trying heterosexual sex’Jack: ‘I feel some kind of curiosity for women and I wouldn’t mind trying heterosexual sex’
Related: Not straight, not gay: just thinking outside the boxRelated: Not straight, not gay: just thinking outside the box
I am sexually attracted by men. Only a man can make me feel sexually aroused truly. However, I feel some kind of curiosity for women and I wouldn’t mind trying heterosexual sex. I am sort of excited if I happen to be very close to a woman in an intimate situation.I am sexually attracted by men. Only a man can make me feel sexually aroused truly. However, I feel some kind of curiosity for women and I wouldn’t mind trying heterosexual sex. I am sort of excited if I happen to be very close to a woman in an intimate situation.
It shouldn’t be necessary to label oneself. To put oneself into a box and to remain there. Life evolves, nature evolves, so why shouldn’t our sexuality? It could be a bit frustrating if there’s a boy or a girl that you like and you wanted to have a try at them, but you’re not sure whether they have the same sexual orientation as yours. But still, you can always have a go at them: the worst thing that can happen is them telling you: “Sorry, I’m not interested.” It shouldn’t be necessary to label oneself. To put oneself into a box and to remain there. Life evolves, nature evolves, so why shouldn’t our sexuality? It could be a bit frustrating if there’s a boy or a girl that you like and you wanted to have a try at them, but you’re not sure whether they have the same sexual orientation as yours. But still, you can always have a go at them. The worst thing that can happen is them telling you: “Sorry, I’m not interested.”
Kinsey scale: 5 Kinsey scale: five
Laura: ‘I have days, months, years, when I am exclusively homosexual, and then out of the blue, I’ll find a man attractive’Laura: ‘I have days, months, years, when I am exclusively homosexual, and then out of the blue, I’ll find a man attractive’
I previously identified as bisexual, but I am increasingly only attracted to women though I am married to a man. My attraction is more physical, emotional, and sensual than exclusively sexual.I previously identified as bisexual, but I am increasingly only attracted to women though I am married to a man. My attraction is more physical, emotional, and sensual than exclusively sexual.
I had my first homosexual experience when I was abused as child. I came out as gay in my early 20s, then dated men as it seemed much easier and hid my attraction to women for most of my 20s. In my early 30s, I identified as mostly gay to my friends and colleagues, again, despite being married to a man.I had my first homosexual experience when I was abused as child. I came out as gay in my early 20s, then dated men as it seemed much easier and hid my attraction to women for most of my 20s. In my early 30s, I identified as mostly gay to my friends and colleagues, again, despite being married to a man.
Binaries have only served to divide us, making sexuality something that needs to be declared as gay or straight for people to be able to put us into boxes or pigeon-holes, as Kinsey would have said.Binaries have only served to divide us, making sexuality something that needs to be declared as gay or straight for people to be able to put us into boxes or pigeon-holes, as Kinsey would have said.
I have days, months, years, when I am exclusively homosexual, and then out of the blue, I’ll find a man attractive. And all this while having a healthy sexual relationship with my husband. Sexuality, like the other senses changes dynamically and over time.I have days, months, years, when I am exclusively homosexual, and then out of the blue, I’ll find a man attractive. And all this while having a healthy sexual relationship with my husband. Sexuality, like the other senses changes dynamically and over time.
Kinsey rating: 5 Kinsey rating: five
To me falling in love involves sexual attraction and for me that is only ever going to be with men.To me falling in love involves sexual attraction and for me that is only ever going to be with men.
Phil: ‘I am slightly annoyed that I’m at one extreme and not floating happily in the middle!’ Phil: ‘I am slightly annoyed that I’m at one extreme and not floating happily in the middle’
Although I can recognise an attractive woman, I have never been sexually attracted to one, only to men. I would therefore rate myself as exclusively homosexual.Although I can recognise an attractive woman, I have never been sexually attracted to one, only to men. I would therefore rate myself as exclusively homosexual.
There was no decision made on my part, it was just a case of acknowledging that I didn’t fancy girls. I knew from probably age 11 or 12 that I was gay, but fought it thinking it was a phase that I’d grow out of: I didn’t grow out of it.There was no decision made on my part, it was just a case of acknowledging that I didn’t fancy girls. I knew from probably age 11 or 12 that I was gay, but fought it thinking it was a phase that I’d grow out of: I didn’t grow out of it.
“Playing it straight’ didn’t alter the fact. Because I am one end of the spectrum, I find it difficult to imagine a continuum. I am slightly annoyed that I’m at one extreme and not floating happily in the middle! That said, from speaking to people, it seems sexuality is much more fluid in females unless males just don’t talk about it or act on it.“Playing it straight’ didn’t alter the fact. Because I am one end of the spectrum, I find it difficult to imagine a continuum. I am slightly annoyed that I’m at one extreme and not floating happily in the middle! That said, from speaking to people, it seems sexuality is much more fluid in females unless males just don’t talk about it or act on it.
At the age of 40, I’d say with pretty certain confidence that my sexuality is fixed. I don’t relate to those who suggest it’s the person you fall in love with, not their gender. To me falling in love involves sexual attraction and for me that is only ever going to be with men.I believe a fair number of people have same-sex experiences when growing up, although I didn’t, but the majority seems to move on to become exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.At the age of 40, I’d say with pretty certain confidence that my sexuality is fixed. I don’t relate to those who suggest it’s the person you fall in love with, not their gender. To me falling in love involves sexual attraction and for me that is only ever going to be with men.I believe a fair number of people have same-sex experiences when growing up, although I didn’t, but the majority seems to move on to become exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.
Kinsey rating: 6 Kinsey rating: six
I just wanted to live my life and love whom I wanted to. I’ve never seen why I have to be labelled to do thatI just wanted to live my life and love whom I wanted to. I’ve never seen why I have to be labelled to do that
Peter: ‘I feel no sexual or romantic attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex’Peter: ‘I feel no sexual or romantic attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex’
I have always been attracted to my own sex. I’ve only ever had sexual interactions and romantic relationships with my own sex. I feel no sexual or romantic attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex. It’s simply not there, at all.I have always been attracted to my own sex. I’ve only ever had sexual interactions and romantic relationships with my own sex. I feel no sexual or romantic attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex. It’s simply not there, at all.
I didn’t decide on my sexuality. When I was a teenager I learnt, through the bigotry of the people around me, that my attraction towards other boys was wrong and that I was a pervert: a homosexual.I didn’t decide on my sexuality. When I was a teenager I learnt, through the bigotry of the people around me, that my attraction towards other boys was wrong and that I was a pervert: a homosexual.
In the early nineties, living in the shadow of the Aids epidemic, educated under the restrictions of Section 28 and before the age of the internet how was I to know any better other than the courage of my own convictions? I felt like, and to this day as far as I know, I was the only gay in the village. In fact I didn’t meet someone I knew to be openly gay until I moved to London in 1998 to go to university.In the early nineties, living in the shadow of the Aids epidemic, educated under the restrictions of Section 28 and before the age of the internet how was I to know any better other than the courage of my own convictions? I felt like, and to this day as far as I know, I was the only gay in the village. In fact I didn’t meet someone I knew to be openly gay until I moved to London in 1998 to go to university.
For me there was never a question about my sexuality, the only really decision was if I was going to be honest with myself and those around me. This was, in the face of such open bigotry, no easy choice and not one made without a price to be paid.For me there was never a question about my sexuality, the only really decision was if I was going to be honest with myself and those around me. This was, in the face of such open bigotry, no easy choice and not one made without a price to be paid.
I welcome the fact that the generation that followed mine was able to make freer choices to be themselves and not be so constrained by the hostility I grew up in.I welcome the fact that the generation that followed mine was able to make freer choices to be themselves and not be so constrained by the hostility I grew up in.
Nobody ever wants to be placed in a box. I never did. I just wanted to live my life and love whom I wanted to. I’ve never seen why I have to be labelled to do that, but unfortunately our society isn’t – and lets not kid ourselves really still isn’t – able to function on this level, yet.Nobody ever wants to be placed in a box. I never did. I just wanted to live my life and love whom I wanted to. I’ve never seen why I have to be labelled to do that, but unfortunately our society isn’t – and lets not kid ourselves really still isn’t – able to function on this level, yet.
Kinsey rating: 6 Kinsey rating: six