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| Mother felt she had failed her children, inquest hears | Mother felt she had failed her children, inquest hears |
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| A lawyer killed herself after being consumed with guilt because she felt she was not a good enough mother to her three children, an inquest has been told. | A lawyer killed herself after being consumed with guilt because she felt she was not a good enough mother to her three children, an inquest has been told. |
| Sarah Johnson, 36, who lived in a £12.5m house in Chester Square, Belgravia, jumped in front of a tube train at Victoria station on 27 April. | Sarah Johnson, 36, who lived in a £12.5m house in Chester Square, Belgravia, jumped in front of a tube train at Victoria station on 27 April. |
| She was married, fit and healthy with financial stability and appeared to have a happy family home, Westminster coroner’s court heard. But she had begun drinking heavily and been admitted to The Priory mental health hospital. | She was married, fit and healthy with financial stability and appeared to have a happy family home, Westminster coroner’s court heard. But she had begun drinking heavily and been admitted to The Priory mental health hospital. |
| Her suicide note spoke of “her wonderful husband and her three beautiful children who she adored” but said she felt she had lost her “respect, self-esteem and dignity”. | Her suicide note spoke of “her wonderful husband and her three beautiful children who she adored” but said she felt she had lost her “respect, self-esteem and dignity”. |
| The Westminster coroner, Dr Shirley Radcliffe, said: “She suffered from guilt. She felt she hadn’t been a good enough mother and I think that guilt was considerable for her.” | The Westminster coroner, Dr Shirley Radcliffe, said: “She suffered from guilt. She felt she hadn’t been a good enough mother and I think that guilt was considerable for her.” |
| The inquest heard that Johnson’s drinking problem began in January and she would often have her first glass as early as as 11am, and then vodka as well as beer in the evenings. On occasion she would drink until she blacked out. | The inquest heard that Johnson’s drinking problem began in January and she would often have her first glass as early as as 11am, and then vodka as well as beer in the evenings. On occasion she would drink until she blacked out. |
| She lived with her husband, David, 37, in a five-storey house. Her father, Graham Parr, a Lancashire businessman, was involved in the £46m management buyout of the Pontins holiday chain in 2008. He also held senior positions in a racecourse management company and the Harry Ramsden fish and chip chain. | |
| In a witness statement read to the court, her GP, Dr Victoria Muir, said Johnson told her she felt she had “ruined her happy life”, and the patient was prescribed antidepressants. But after two periods of admission to The Priory – for a week in February and another stretch finishing on 20 April – her condition seemed to improve. | In a witness statement read to the court, her GP, Dr Victoria Muir, said Johnson told her she felt she had “ruined her happy life”, and the patient was prescribed antidepressants. But after two periods of admission to The Priory – for a week in February and another stretch finishing on 20 April – her condition seemed to improve. |
| Her psychiatrist, Dr Neil Brener, said: “Her problems revolved around personal affairs in her family and she was using alcohol to numb her feelings. She had no past psychiatric history. Her main thought was that she had let everyone down and how she had messed everything up for her husband and children.” | Her psychiatrist, Dr Neil Brener, said: “Her problems revolved around personal affairs in her family and she was using alcohol to numb her feelings. She had no past psychiatric history. Her main thought was that she had let everyone down and how she had messed everything up for her husband and children.” |
| On the day of Johnson’s planned discharge Brener was happy with her progress, he said. “She didn’t have suicidal ideas and her mind improved. She was very chatty.” | On the day of Johnson’s planned discharge Brener was happy with her progress, he said. “She didn’t have suicidal ideas and her mind improved. She was very chatty.” |
| But she failed to turn up to scheduled follow-up appointments, and on 26 April she vanished without telling anyone where she was, later appearing at home dishevelled having arrived in a taxi. | But she failed to turn up to scheduled follow-up appointments, and on 26 April she vanished without telling anyone where she was, later appearing at home dishevelled having arrived in a taxi. |
| The next morning, her husband woke to find she was gone and had left a note. He reported her to the police as a missing person, but she was already dead having arrived at Victoria at about 5.30am, wandered around the platforms and above ground for 50 minutes before jumping in front of a southbound Victoria line train. | The next morning, her husband woke to find she was gone and had left a note. He reported her to the police as a missing person, but she was already dead having arrived at Victoria at about 5.30am, wandered around the platforms and above ground for 50 minutes before jumping in front of a southbound Victoria line train. |
| A postmortem showed there was no alcohol in her blood at the time of her death. | A postmortem showed there was no alcohol in her blood at the time of her death. |
| Giving her conclusion, the coroner said: “Sarah Johnson was a married 36-year-old with three children. But something happened earlier this year and she became depressed. She started drinking heavily but she denied suicidal thoughts to all the health professionals that saw her. | Giving her conclusion, the coroner said: “Sarah Johnson was a married 36-year-old with three children. But something happened earlier this year and she became depressed. She started drinking heavily but she denied suicidal thoughts to all the health professionals that saw her. |
| “She had two periods of hospital admission for her alcoholism. She was of low mood. She suffered from guilt. She felt she hadn’t been a good enough mother and I think that guilt was considerable for her. Despite the intervention her family she continued to drink. She made the decision to take her life that morning.” | “She had two periods of hospital admission for her alcoholism. She was of low mood. She suffered from guilt. She felt she hadn’t been a good enough mother and I think that guilt was considerable for her. Despite the intervention her family she continued to drink. She made the decision to take her life that morning.” |
| • The Samaritans’ 24-hour helpline can be contacted on 08457 90 90 90. | • The Samaritans’ 24-hour helpline can be contacted on 08457 90 90 90. |