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The McWhopper is dead, long live these other (fictional) corporate mashups The McWhopper is dead, long live these other (fictional) corporate mashups
(35 minutes later)
The possibility that fast-food chains Burger King and McDonald’s might have formed a one-day truce to sell a hybrid product called the “McWhopper” has created an unprecedented opportunity for corporate synergy. Although McDonald’s ultimately rejected Burger King’s proposal, here’s a look at some other products you might soon see for sale.The possibility that fast-food chains Burger King and McDonald’s might have formed a one-day truce to sell a hybrid product called the “McWhopper” has created an unprecedented opportunity for corporate synergy. Although McDonald’s ultimately rejected Burger King’s proposal, here’s a look at some other products you might soon see for sale.
Pizza Hut/Hardee’sPizza Hut/Hardee’s
Hardee’s distinctive advertisements trade on goading the typical American oaf into indulging their most slovenly instincts, and Pizza Hut seems willing to stuff literally anything into a crust, so it’s only natural that the two should come together to release the ThickDish – basically an enormous burger slathered with bacon and cheese set between two large pizzas instead of a bun, those pizzas in turn stuffed with hamburger, bacon and cheese. You’ll have to provide proof of health insurance to purchase one.Hardee’s distinctive advertisements trade on goading the typical American oaf into indulging their most slovenly instincts, and Pizza Hut seems willing to stuff literally anything into a crust, so it’s only natural that the two should come together to release the ThickDish – basically an enormous burger slathered with bacon and cheese set between two large pizzas instead of a bun, those pizzas in turn stuffed with hamburger, bacon and cheese. You’ll have to provide proof of health insurance to purchase one.
Taco Bell/Phillips 66Taco Bell/Phillips 66
Taco Bell can probably be used to make an industrial lubricant for airplane engines that will revolutionize the aviation industry.Taco Bell can probably be used to make an industrial lubricant for airplane engines that will revolutionize the aviation industry.
Chipotle/Ben and Jerry’sChipotle/Ben and Jerry’s
Both of these chains are big on sustainability and all-natural ingredients, so philosophically they’re a good match, but the real opportunity for profit comes from the fact that more states are legalizing marijuana for recreational use. Imagine a late-night buffet stocked with carnitas and Chunky Monkey, then call your broker and invest deep in both just in case they actually make this happen.Both of these chains are big on sustainability and all-natural ingredients, so philosophically they’re a good match, but the real opportunity for profit comes from the fact that more states are legalizing marijuana for recreational use. Imagine a late-night buffet stocked with carnitas and Chunky Monkey, then call your broker and invest deep in both just in case they actually make this happen.
Sherwin-Williams/KFCSherwin-Williams/KFC
The New Beginnings Bucket will be targeted at men going through divorce and feature a large bucket of beige or cornflower blue paint nestled within a 12-piece meal with two sides.The New Beginnings Bucket will be targeted at men going through divorce and feature a large bucket of beige or cornflower blue paint nestled within a 12-piece meal with two sides.
Wendy’s/Apple IncWendy’s/Apple Inc
Old people love Wendy’s and struggle with using technology, so why not open some hybrid locations where the elderly can sit down at the Genius Bar and slurp down a Frosty while receiving training on e-mail attachments and downloading books to their iPads? Old people love Wendy’s and struggle with using technology, so why not open some hybrid locations where the elderly can sit down at the Genius Bar and slurp down a Frosty while receiving training on email attachments and downloading books to their iPads?
Olive Garden/Red LobsterOlive Garden/Red Lobster
Both of these establishments provide their customers an approximation of fine dining, so why not team up and dump the subpar food to focus instead on producing plastic models of gourmet meals for furniture stores and home-decor magazines to use as decoration in their advertisements?Both of these establishments provide their customers an approximation of fine dining, so why not team up and dump the subpar food to focus instead on producing plastic models of gourmet meals for furniture stores and home-decor magazines to use as decoration in their advertisements?
Coca-Cola/NikeCoca-Cola/Nike
The co-creation of these titans would be a simple energy drink – let’s call it CokeFlow – which you’d see for the first time as an impulse buy at a gas station, and then more and more in various advertisements and product placement deals in movies. Then one day you’d be reading the new Jonathan Franzen novel and notice that the characters are devoting a lot of time to discussing how refreshing CokeFlow is, how it reminds them of the America they were promised, and soon after that the president would appear on television wearing a CokeFlow pin in place of the American flag. By the end of the year it won’t seem weird when you bless yourself with CokeFlow instead of holy water before mass; you’ll finally feel like you’re finally a part of something bigger than yourself.The co-creation of these titans would be a simple energy drink – let’s call it CokeFlow – which you’d see for the first time as an impulse buy at a gas station, and then more and more in various advertisements and product placement deals in movies. Then one day you’d be reading the new Jonathan Franzen novel and notice that the characters are devoting a lot of time to discussing how refreshing CokeFlow is, how it reminds them of the America they were promised, and soon after that the president would appear on television wearing a CokeFlow pin in place of the American flag. By the end of the year it won’t seem weird when you bless yourself with CokeFlow instead of holy water before mass; you’ll finally feel like you’re finally a part of something bigger than yourself.