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You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/28/segway-show-offs-selfie-sticks-microscooters
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| The Segway is for show-offs with more money than sense | The Segway is for show-offs with more money than sense |
| (34 minutes later) | |
| When I heard that Usain Bolt was run over by a cameraman riding a Segway scooter, it reminded me of how much I loathe new-fangled crazes and the folk who adopt them. | When I heard that Usain Bolt was run over by a cameraman riding a Segway scooter, it reminded me of how much I loathe new-fangled crazes and the folk who adopt them. |
| The Segway, a two-wheeled, self-balancing, battery-powered electric vehicle is derived from the word segue, meaning smooth transition. But the transition for pedestrians avoiding these monstrosities is about as smooth as a badger’s crotch. | The Segway, a two-wheeled, self-balancing, battery-powered electric vehicle is derived from the word segue, meaning smooth transition. But the transition for pedestrians avoiding these monstrosities is about as smooth as a badger’s crotch. |
| Surely the Segway will soon be as obsolete as the Liberal Democrat party? | Surely the Segway will soon be as obsolete as the Liberal Democrat party? |
| I had seen two female tourists using them at the Southbank – looking smug and trendy while terrifying the life out of a group of elderly people – obviously enjoying being stared at. Perhaps they mistook the disdain on people’s faces for envy? The tourists were both wearing helmets. Why? They were going at about 500 metres an hour which meant, of course, that they achieved maximum attention, a bit like the Pope when he rides on top of the popemobile. | |
| Gone are the days when the only pretentious vehicles on the roads were vintage cars driven by skinny, middle-aged men with ponytails and too-tight denim. I remember how utterly irritated I became seeing all manner of adults whizzing around the streets on those stupid Micro Sprite Scooters. One evening a friend whizzed down to my house on one, having come from work dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. There was something so ridiculous about seeing a 40-year-old acting like a kid in a playground while at the same time thinking she looked cutting-edge. | Gone are the days when the only pretentious vehicles on the roads were vintage cars driven by skinny, middle-aged men with ponytails and too-tight denim. I remember how utterly irritated I became seeing all manner of adults whizzing around the streets on those stupid Micro Sprite Scooters. One evening a friend whizzed down to my house on one, having come from work dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. There was something so ridiculous about seeing a 40-year-old acting like a kid in a playground while at the same time thinking she looked cutting-edge. |
| Related: They see me floatin', they hatin': why do rap stars love 'hoverboards' so much? | |
| Why do these fads bother me so much? Surely the Segway will soon be as obsolete as the Liberal Democrat party? The alternative is horrific. Imagine if the craze goes mainstream and we not only have to dodge micro scooters, quad bikes and bloody Segways on top of joggers and cyclists when out for a walk in the woods? Maybe we will be poked with a selfie stick while avoiding broken bones from fast-moving maniacs? | Why do these fads bother me so much? Surely the Segway will soon be as obsolete as the Liberal Democrat party? The alternative is horrific. Imagine if the craze goes mainstream and we not only have to dodge micro scooters, quad bikes and bloody Segways on top of joggers and cyclists when out for a walk in the woods? Maybe we will be poked with a selfie stick while avoiding broken bones from fast-moving maniacs? |
| Speaking of selfie sticks, what on earth is that about? What is wrong with the human arm? Why do selfie stick holders not do what self-respecting tourists and drunk diners have for time immemorial, and irritate passing people and waiters by asking them to capture the marvellous moment for them? And back to Segways, why can’t people just walk, or take a bus? What is this business with having to use a form of transport that screams: “Look at me!” | Speaking of selfie sticks, what on earth is that about? What is wrong with the human arm? Why do selfie stick holders not do what self-respecting tourists and drunk diners have for time immemorial, and irritate passing people and waiters by asking them to capture the marvellous moment for them? And back to Segways, why can’t people just walk, or take a bus? What is this business with having to use a form of transport that screams: “Look at me!” |
| Related: Segway cameraman who floored Usain Bolt says he is ready to get back to work | |
| Remember in the 1980s when your main course in up-themself restaurants used to include a pointless, horrid little slice of kiwi fruit? These fads are almost always taken up by the type of people who have olive stoners in their kitchen and unread art books arranged on the Philippe Starck coffee table. | Remember in the 1980s when your main course in up-themself restaurants used to include a pointless, horrid little slice of kiwi fruit? These fads are almost always taken up by the type of people who have olive stoners in their kitchen and unread art books arranged on the Philippe Starck coffee table. |
| The level of showing off involved in using a Segway in public makes me want to scream. If they think they look cool they should think again. Steve Jobs was apparently quoted as saying that they thought the Segway would be “bigger than the internet”. What on earth for? The only use I can see for this ridiculous item is for disabled people to get around more easily at airports. But let’s face it, this was not the intention of the inventor: it is plainly for those with more money than sense who wish to be noticed. Please keep well out of my way. | The level of showing off involved in using a Segway in public makes me want to scream. If they think they look cool they should think again. Steve Jobs was apparently quoted as saying that they thought the Segway would be “bigger than the internet”. What on earth for? The only use I can see for this ridiculous item is for disabled people to get around more easily at airports. But let’s face it, this was not the intention of the inventor: it is plainly for those with more money than sense who wish to be noticed. Please keep well out of my way. |