Don’t believe what you read – the Moscow I know is far from unfriendly

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/02/moscow-not-unfriendly-city-russians

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It didn’t surprise me to hear that Moscow, where I live part time, has been voted the world’s most unfriendly city by readers of Travel+Leisure. But is this assessment really fair? The answer, as with most questions concerning Moscow, is complicated.

On the surface of it, Moscow can be far too intense for the casual visitor. The traffic jams are epic, few people seem to speak English (actually, most people have at least a beginner’s grasp, but are often too shy about their language skills to let on, or so I find), and smiling, especially among strangers, is simply not the done thing.

Moscow also has a huge security-guard culture, which means that almost everywhere you go, including many restaurants and shops, you’re likely to meet at least one hulking police academy reject who will stare at you as though you’re a dangerous criminal and he’s fully prepared to tear you limb from limb right there in the condiments aisle.

The most recent argument I witnessed in Moscow was over whether Sergei Yesenin was a great poet or a buffoon

Perceptions of the Ukraine crisis can also be unsettling for the western traveller in Moscow. Most Russians do not believe their government could possibly be involved in destabilising Ukraine. Hence they think western sanctions are unfair, and might let you know about it – even in Moscow, which exhibits a higher level of dissent than elsewhere in Russia. As both an American and a native of Ukraine, I am regularly confronted by friends who are convinced that President Obama wants to bomb them all and Kiev is overrun by Nazis. It’s a version of events that I personally can never get used to.

Yet the sanctions also mean that many Russians are genuinely glad to see westerners who are still interested in visiting their country. Moscow city hall has worked hard to make both the metro, which is convenient and stunning, and the centre of town more accessible to foreign visitors and citizens in general. English-language signs have appeared on central streets, metro stations and trains. More pedestrian zones and bike lanes have popped up. There are even English-speaking tourist police units around – which are meant to give you directions and keep you safe, as opposed to drag you to the gulag – though I haven’t run into any.

Related: The Putin paradox: distrusted, feared, and yet revered | Natalie Nougayréde

Ultimately, Moscow is friendliest to people who speak a bit of Russian and don’t mind the intensity of this densely populated, frequently chaotic, hauntingly lovely city. When I first arrived here, I was almost fluent in Russian, but I still found myself occasionally feeling intimidated.

One thing that always gets me, as a person who grew up mostly in the south of the United States and is used to politeness that borders on the extreme, is the brutal honesty of Russians. But every society has its own normal. While Muscovites will never understand my predilection for sweet iced tea, I’ll never get why they need to have dramatic arguments in public (the most recent one I witnessed involved a shouting match over whether Sergei Yesenin was a great poet or a buffoon).

There is a lot to love about Moscow, from the beauty of its boulevards to the prevalence of fantastic 24-hour flower shops (seriously, if you ever feel like buying a giant heap of roses at 4am – and who doesn’t – your needs will be catered to). This is one of the reasons why I find the current political situation so depressing. It is hard to predict whether or not Russia’s relationship with the west will deteriorate further – and if it does, who knows what it might mean for the flow of foreign visitors.

As such, perhaps the best time for westerners to go to Moscow is now, friendliness ratings be damned.