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Refugees welcome! Meet the British families who have opened their homes to asylum seekers | Refugees welcome! Meet the British families who have opened their homes to asylum seekers |
(1 day later) | |
For the past 10 years, the Boaz Trust in Manchester has tried to find accommodation for destitute asylum seekers. Until very recently, the Christian charity often struggled to find enough households willing to take these most vulnerable of strangers into their homes. All that changed last week with the harrowing photo of Aylan Kurdi, the three-year-old Syrian boy whose tiny body became the symbol of the biggest humanitarian crisis in Europe for decades when it washed up on a beach in Turkey. | For the past 10 years, the Boaz Trust in Manchester has tried to find accommodation for destitute asylum seekers. Until very recently, the Christian charity often struggled to find enough households willing to take these most vulnerable of strangers into their homes. All that changed last week with the harrowing photo of Aylan Kurdi, the three-year-old Syrian boy whose tiny body became the symbol of the biggest humanitarian crisis in Europe for decades when it washed up on a beach in Turkey. |
“We’ve never had so many inquiries,” says Boaz’s chief executive, Ros Holland. “We had someone from Gloucester call up the other day saying: ‘I know I’m not in Manchester, but I’ve got a spare room. How can I help?’ Someone else phoned up from Edinburgh. It’s been quite overwhelming.” | “We’ve never had so many inquiries,” says Boaz’s chief executive, Ros Holland. “We had someone from Gloucester call up the other day saying: ‘I know I’m not in Manchester, but I’ve got a spare room. How can I help?’ Someone else phoned up from Edinburgh. It’s been quite overwhelming.” |
All over Europe, ordinary people are eyeing their spare bedrooms and wondering if they really need that space to store their camping stuff/play computer games/escape to when their partner is snoring. | All over Europe, ordinary people are eyeing their spare bedrooms and wondering if they really need that space to store their camping stuff/play computer games/escape to when their partner is snoring. |
After Iceland agreed to take just 50 Syrian refugees, more than 17,000 Icelanders signed an open letter to their welfare minister, Eygló Harðardóttir, demanding a change in policy, many offering their own houses as sanctuary. In Germany, Refugees Welcome, a grassroots organisation billed as “Airbnb for refugees”, was overwhelmed with offers of accommodation for the 800,000 refugees expected in the country this year. In Finland, the prime minister offered to put up a family in his country home – it’s “not being used much at the moment,” said Juha Sipila. In Britain, Bob Geldof reckoned he could fit three families into his Kent home and another in his flat in London. Meanwhile, Citizens UK has been campaigning for a year to get local authorities to resettle just 50 Syrian refugees each by encouraging landlords to register their properties as potential homes at or below the local housing rate. | After Iceland agreed to take just 50 Syrian refugees, more than 17,000 Icelanders signed an open letter to their welfare minister, Eygló Harðardóttir, demanding a change in policy, many offering their own houses as sanctuary. In Germany, Refugees Welcome, a grassroots organisation billed as “Airbnb for refugees”, was overwhelmed with offers of accommodation for the 800,000 refugees expected in the country this year. In Finland, the prime minister offered to put up a family in his country home – it’s “not being used much at the moment,” said Juha Sipila. In Britain, Bob Geldof reckoned he could fit three families into his Kent home and another in his flat in London. Meanwhile, Citizens UK has been campaigning for a year to get local authorities to resettle just 50 Syrian refugees each by encouraging landlords to register their properties as potential homes at or below the local housing rate. |
There is not yet a central registry of households in the UK offering up their spare rooms to refugees, but it’s not too fanciful to imagine there may soon be more offers than there are asylum seekers. Despite this summer’s refugee crisis, the UK is now receiving far fewer asylum applications than it was more than a decade ago. | There is not yet a central registry of households in the UK offering up their spare rooms to refugees, but it’s not too fanciful to imagine there may soon be more offers than there are asylum seekers. Despite this summer’s refugee crisis, the UK is now receiving far fewer asylum applications than it was more than a decade ago. |
According to the Home Office, there were 25,771 asylum applications in the year ending June 2015, compared with 84,132 in 2002, the peak year. | According to the Home Office, there were 25,771 asylum applications in the year ending June 2015, compared with 84,132 in 2002, the peak year. |
Many people contacting the Boaz Trust last week wanted to specifically offer a bed to a Syrian. But the truth is that very few Syrians have made it to Britain since the conflict began: this past year, the largest number of asylum claims came from Eritreans and Pakistanis, with Syrians the third-largest group. Just 216 Syrians have been granted humanitarian protection under the Syrian Vulnerable Persons Relocation Scheme, which began in March 2014. The Home Office says that 4,000 Syrians have been given asylum since the humanitarian crisis began. But the figure includes many Syrians who were already living in the UK, and who were unable to return home because of war. | Many people contacting the Boaz Trust last week wanted to specifically offer a bed to a Syrian. But the truth is that very few Syrians have made it to Britain since the conflict began: this past year, the largest number of asylum claims came from Eritreans and Pakistanis, with Syrians the third-largest group. Just 216 Syrians have been granted humanitarian protection under the Syrian Vulnerable Persons Relocation Scheme, which began in March 2014. The Home Office says that 4,000 Syrians have been given asylum since the humanitarian crisis began. But the figure includes many Syrians who were already living in the UK, and who were unable to return home because of war. |
Those Syrians who do come to Britain, as part of David Cameron’s latest initiative (that the UK will take up to 20,000 Syrian refugees over five years) or otherwise, are unlikely to need to stay in your spare room. Syrian asylum applications are currently fast-tracked as the government accepts these people cannot realistically be sent home (one unfortunate side-effect is the expanding black market for Syrian documentation among those with other passports). After being screened, asylum seekers are usually given accommodation by Serco or G4S, the two outsourcing companies contracted by the Home Office. They don’t get to choose where they go, but are disproportionately likely to end up in places such as Rochdale, where rents are cheap. While they wait, asylum seekers are usually allowed NHS treatment, their children can attend schools and they each receive £36.95 per week to live. | Those Syrians who do come to Britain, as part of David Cameron’s latest initiative (that the UK will take up to 20,000 Syrian refugees over five years) or otherwise, are unlikely to need to stay in your spare room. Syrian asylum applications are currently fast-tracked as the government accepts these people cannot realistically be sent home (one unfortunate side-effect is the expanding black market for Syrian documentation among those with other passports). After being screened, asylum seekers are usually given accommodation by Serco or G4S, the two outsourcing companies contracted by the Home Office. They don’t get to choose where they go, but are disproportionately likely to end up in places such as Rochdale, where rents are cheap. While they wait, asylum seekers are usually allowed NHS treatment, their children can attend schools and they each receive £36.95 per week to live. |
The problems really begin if their claims are turned down: this currently happens in 13% of Syrian cases, a noticeably smaller proportion than with most other nationalities. All of a sudden they lose all state support and can often find themselves on the streets. Only when they have the wherewithal to submit a fresh application does the state support kick back in again, slightly reduced. People can also find themselves homeless even if they are given leave to remain. The government gives successful asylum claimants just 28 days before evicting them from their accommodation – frequently insufficient time to get a National Insurance number in order to sign on and claim housing benefit. | The problems really begin if their claims are turned down: this currently happens in 13% of Syrian cases, a noticeably smaller proportion than with most other nationalities. All of a sudden they lose all state support and can often find themselves on the streets. Only when they have the wherewithal to submit a fresh application does the state support kick back in again, slightly reduced. People can also find themselves homeless even if they are given leave to remain. The government gives successful asylum claimants just 28 days before evicting them from their accommodation – frequently insufficient time to get a National Insurance number in order to sign on and claim housing benefit. |
It is these people who are largely catered for by Boaz and other charities around the country. If you sign up to be a host with these organisations you cannot choose where your guest comes from or which god they pray to, or decide to take only someone whose asylum case particularly tugs at your heart strings. Usually, you can specify just the gender of your guest, whether or not you accept smoking in the house, and how long you are willing to have them stay. You do not get paid anything to host, by the government or charities. Most charities that offer asylum-seeker hosting schemes offer some expenses for hosts (for example, for increased heating bills), though few hosts bother to claim. | It is these people who are largely catered for by Boaz and other charities around the country. If you sign up to be a host with these organisations you cannot choose where your guest comes from or which god they pray to, or decide to take only someone whose asylum case particularly tugs at your heart strings. Usually, you can specify just the gender of your guest, whether or not you accept smoking in the house, and how long you are willing to have them stay. You do not get paid anything to host, by the government or charities. Most charities that offer asylum-seeker hosting schemes offer some expenses for hosts (for example, for increased heating bills), though few hosts bother to claim. |
‘It’s amazing how much you can get across by pointing’ | ‘It’s amazing how much you can get across by pointing’ |
Leeds-based Yoshiko Stokoe, 30, and her boyfriend Jack Palmer, 25, hosted Muhammad, 30, from Pakistan, for five months in 2013, along with another couple, after his first asylum claim was turned down | Leeds-based Yoshiko Stokoe, 30, and her boyfriend Jack Palmer, 25, hosted Muhammad, 30, from Pakistan, for five months in 2013, along with another couple, after his first asylum claim was turned down |
Yoshiko Stokoe keeps a tally on her phone of the guests she and her partner have hosted in the past two-and-a-half years. So far, there have been six from Zimbabwe, seven from Iran, three from Ethiopia, two from Eritrea, one from Chad and many more. But the guest who stayed the longest was Muhammad, a chef from Pakistan who was trafficked and sold into domestic slavery to work as a curry chef. | Yoshiko Stokoe keeps a tally on her phone of the guests she and her partner have hosted in the past two-and-a-half years. So far, there have been six from Zimbabwe, seven from Iran, three from Ethiopia, two from Eritrea, one from Chad and many more. But the guest who stayed the longest was Muhammad, a chef from Pakistan who was trafficked and sold into domestic slavery to work as a curry chef. |
The first weekend Muhammad stayed with them he didn’t return after going out one night to a friend’s to celebrate Eid. They eventually found him in the intensive-care unit of a Leeds hospital, having been beaten up in an argument about whether he had a right to be in the country. | The first weekend Muhammad stayed with them he didn’t return after going out one night to a friend’s to celebrate Eid. They eventually found him in the intensive-care unit of a Leeds hospital, having been beaten up in an argument about whether he had a right to be in the country. |
The couple are not high earners. Palmer is doing a PhD and was working in a call centre when they began hosting. Stokoe works for Involve Yorkshire & Humber, a charity. But they insist it costs them very little – “£10 a week, max” – to host asylum seekers in their house. They are happy for guests to eat their food but find they are often reticent, sometimes out of misplaced politeness. People are often ashamed to find themselves in this situation, explains Stokoe. | The couple are not high earners. Palmer is doing a PhD and was working in a call centre when they began hosting. Stokoe works for Involve Yorkshire & Humber, a charity. But they insist it costs them very little – “£10 a week, max” – to host asylum seekers in their house. They are happy for guests to eat their food but find they are often reticent, sometimes out of misplaced politeness. People are often ashamed to find themselves in this situation, explains Stokoe. |
“They arrive and you offer them food and they say no, and you don’t know if it’s because they’ve already eaten or they haven’t eaten all day and don’t want to impose,” says Palmer. When Muhammad arrived, he was too shy to accept a meal but before long he was cooking up a storm in their kitchen. When the Guardian visits, he makes a mean biryani, apologising that it’s not a real biryani because he only had an hour and a half to make it. He has submitted a fresh asylum claim, which means he gets Serco/G4S housing again, so he is not being hosted at the moment. | “They arrive and you offer them food and they say no, and you don’t know if it’s because they’ve already eaten or they haven’t eaten all day and don’t want to impose,” says Palmer. When Muhammad arrived, he was too shy to accept a meal but before long he was cooking up a storm in their kitchen. When the Guardian visits, he makes a mean biryani, apologising that it’s not a real biryani because he only had an hour and a half to make it. He has submitted a fresh asylum claim, which means he gets Serco/G4S housing again, so he is not being hosted at the moment. |
Stokoe and Palmer’s placements are also organised through Leeds Asylum Seekers’ Support Network (LASSN) and they have taken people for short stays with as little as an hour’s notice. Sometimes their guests can’t speak a word of English. “But it’s amazing how much you can get across by pointing,” says Palmer. “Plus the occasional go on Google Translate,” says Stokoe. | Stokoe and Palmer’s placements are also organised through Leeds Asylum Seekers’ Support Network (LASSN) and they have taken people for short stays with as little as an hour’s notice. Sometimes their guests can’t speak a word of English. “But it’s amazing how much you can get across by pointing,” says Palmer. “Plus the occasional go on Google Translate,” says Stokoe. |
With short stays, LASSN does not expect hosts to give guests a key and suggests that guests should not be in the house during the day if the hosts are out. “It can be quite hard if it’s wet and cold outside – you feel bad,” says Stokoe. | With short stays, LASSN does not expect hosts to give guests a key and suggests that guests should not be in the house during the day if the hosts are out. “It can be quite hard if it’s wet and cold outside – you feel bad,” says Stokoe. |
Recently the couple moved to a bigger rented house so that they could start hosting people for longer periods. Asked why they didn’t offer a bed to homeless Britons rather than just asylum seekers, Stokoe says she wouldn’t be averse to the idea but that destitute asylum seekers have no recourse to public funds or conventional homelessness services. “They have nowhere else to go,” she says. | Recently the couple moved to a bigger rented house so that they could start hosting people for longer periods. Asked why they didn’t offer a bed to homeless Britons rather than just asylum seekers, Stokoe says she wouldn’t be averse to the idea but that destitute asylum seekers have no recourse to public funds or conventional homelessness services. “They have nowhere else to go,” she says. |
Being hosts has been eye-opening, says Palmer. “One of the reasons we started hosting was that feeling of helplessness from watching the crises unfold and not knowing how to help. But that helplessness was predicated on the idea that all this was happening a long way away. There is something quite unsettling about realising that these people are also in your own city, living in the cracks of society, having basically slipped through.” | Being hosts has been eye-opening, says Palmer. “One of the reasons we started hosting was that feeling of helplessness from watching the crises unfold and not knowing how to help. But that helplessness was predicated on the idea that all this was happening a long way away. There is something quite unsettling about realising that these people are also in your own city, living in the cracks of society, having basically slipped through.” |
‘We are told not to ask about their experience’ | ‘We are told not to ask about their experience’ |
Lois Mortimer, 67, her wife Kirsty McArthur, 43, and their daughter Esme, 17, have had Susan (not her real name) from Zimbabwe living with them in their house in Chapeltown, Leeds, for the past two years | Lois Mortimer, 67, her wife Kirsty McArthur, 43, and their daughter Esme, 17, have had Susan (not her real name) from Zimbabwe living with them in their house in Chapeltown, Leeds, for the past two years |
Mortimer and McArthur first signed up with LASSN eight years ago as “short stop” hosts, offering overnight or weekend stays to asylum seekers in need of a bed and a hot meal. Esme, then nine, was not impressed. “I wasn’t happy about it at first. It really panicked me and I didn’t understand why strangers were coming into our house,” she says. But she quite quickly adjusted, getting used to explaining to puzzled friends when they came to play why there was an Iranian woman in her kitchen. | Mortimer and McArthur first signed up with LASSN eight years ago as “short stop” hosts, offering overnight or weekend stays to asylum seekers in need of a bed and a hot meal. Esme, then nine, was not impressed. “I wasn’t happy about it at first. It really panicked me and I didn’t understand why strangers were coming into our house,” she says. But she quite quickly adjusted, getting used to explaining to puzzled friends when they came to play why there was an Iranian woman in her kitchen. |
Esme, now 17, and her friends launched a campaign when their guest, Susan, 65, from Zimbabwe, was detained one day after signing on at her local reporting centre, as all asylum seekers must. Susan ended up in Yarl’s Wood immigration removal centre the Christmas before last, ahead of her deportation to Zimbabwe, which she left in 2002. The campaign worked and Susan has been living with the family for two years as she awaits a decision on her latest claim. She has her own bedsit in the five bedroom house, with a kettle and microwave in her room. She is welcome in the rest of the property, though the family tend to keep the front room as their private space. Susan is allowed to use the family kitchen. “I can always tell if she has been cooking down here because she leaves it spotless,” says Mortimer. | Esme, now 17, and her friends launched a campaign when their guest, Susan, 65, from Zimbabwe, was detained one day after signing on at her local reporting centre, as all asylum seekers must. Susan ended up in Yarl’s Wood immigration removal centre the Christmas before last, ahead of her deportation to Zimbabwe, which she left in 2002. The campaign worked and Susan has been living with the family for two years as she awaits a decision on her latest claim. She has her own bedsit in the five bedroom house, with a kettle and microwave in her room. She is welcome in the rest of the property, though the family tend to keep the front room as their private space. Susan is allowed to use the family kitchen. “I can always tell if she has been cooking down here because she leaves it spotless,” says Mortimer. |
The family have hosted at least 25 people over the years. During that time they have learned never to ask guests why they ended up claiming asylum and are told not to get involved in their guests’ asylum claims at all. “There’s the prospect of re-traumatising people,” says McArthur. “In our training we were told not to ask. They have already told their story to officials so many times by the time they reach us, and should be discouraged from talking about it to us because we can’t do anything about it.” | The family have hosted at least 25 people over the years. During that time they have learned never to ask guests why they ended up claiming asylum and are told not to get involved in their guests’ asylum claims at all. “There’s the prospect of re-traumatising people,” says McArthur. “In our training we were told not to ask. They have already told their story to officials so many times by the time they reach us, and should be discouraged from talking about it to us because we can’t do anything about it.” |
They had their own preconceptions challenged by the experience. “At first what I was struck by is that the guests weren’t necessarily grateful,” says McArthur. “But when I got a grip of myself and thought about it, I realised: why should they be?” Many people assume that asylum seekers must have had a lowly status in their home country but it’s often not the case, she says. “I remember before we started hosting hearing an Eritrean man talk about how he had been used to being treated with respect when he arrived in Britain on business, until he arrived at Heathrow to claim asylum and people’s faces changed to hostility and contempt. He said: ‘People think that I should be grateful; I would rather not be here, I would rather be back in my own country but it isn’t a safe place for me to be.’” | They had their own preconceptions challenged by the experience. “At first what I was struck by is that the guests weren’t necessarily grateful,” says McArthur. “But when I got a grip of myself and thought about it, I realised: why should they be?” Many people assume that asylum seekers must have had a lowly status in their home country but it’s often not the case, she says. “I remember before we started hosting hearing an Eritrean man talk about how he had been used to being treated with respect when he arrived in Britain on business, until he arrived at Heathrow to claim asylum and people’s faces changed to hostility and contempt. He said: ‘People think that I should be grateful; I would rather not be here, I would rather be back in my own country but it isn’t a safe place for me to be.’” |
‘Our hosts gave us the best room in the house’ | ‘Our hosts gave us the best room in the house’ |
Jane and Paul Roper (both 56) took in Reza Zobdeh, 49, from Iran, and his Chinese wife Guiying Zu, 51, after they had been sleeping in a car park in Salford. The guests spent more than a year living with the couple in Didsbury, south Manchester. | Jane and Paul Roper (both 56) took in Reza Zobdeh, 49, from Iran, and his Chinese wife Guiying Zu, 51, after they had been sleeping in a car park in Salford. The guests spent more than a year living with the couple in Didsbury, south Manchester. |
The Ropers have the ideal personalities for hosting: they are supremely relaxed. Asked what fears they had about becoming hosts, the couple struggle to think of any, with Jane eventually saying she was a tad worried about language barriers, “because I can speak some French and that’s it”. They seem to delight in the unexpected, encouraging their guests to treat the house as their own and invite friends to come and go. “I remember one day we came home and there was an Iranian barbeque in full swing,” laughs Paul. | The Ropers have the ideal personalities for hosting: they are supremely relaxed. Asked what fears they had about becoming hosts, the couple struggle to think of any, with Jane eventually saying she was a tad worried about language barriers, “because I can speak some French and that’s it”. They seem to delight in the unexpected, encouraging their guests to treat the house as their own and invite friends to come and go. “I remember one day we came home and there was an Iranian barbeque in full swing,” laughs Paul. |
Related: Life as the descendant of refugees: share your perspective on the European crisis | |
The couple started hosting in 2011 with the Boaz Trust. Reza Zobdeh and his wife Guiying Zu were their longest-term guests. The couple’s story is complicated, involving arrests, detention and a journey via three continents. They claimed asylum at Heathrow on 14 October 2012 but by the time they turned up at the Ropers’ large detached house in Didsbury, south Manchester, they had been sleeping rough for some time. | The couple started hosting in 2011 with the Boaz Trust. Reza Zobdeh and his wife Guiying Zu were their longest-term guests. The couple’s story is complicated, involving arrests, detention and a journey via three continents. They claimed asylum at Heathrow on 14 October 2012 but by the time they turned up at the Ropers’ large detached house in Didsbury, south Manchester, they had been sleeping rough for some time. |
“Reza was in a very bad way,” said Paul, an accountant. “He had chest pains and very high blood pressure.” Jane, a retired teacher, chips in: “He looked dreadful.” | “Reza was in a very bad way,” said Paul, an accountant. “He had chest pains and very high blood pressure.” Jane, a retired teacher, chips in: “He looked dreadful.” |
Zobdeh says he immediately felt at home with the Ropers. “I felt so humbled, almost as if they were our servants. Paul carried our suitcases upstairs to our room – only later did we find out that they had given us the best room in the house.” On 22 August this year the couple received a visa granting them leave to remain for five years and they have now moved to a house in Bolton. Zobdeh says he hopes to find a job and be able to afford a spare bedroom: “Then we can be hosts, too.” | Zobdeh says he immediately felt at home with the Ropers. “I felt so humbled, almost as if they were our servants. Paul carried our suitcases upstairs to our room – only later did we find out that they had given us the best room in the house.” On 22 August this year the couple received a visa granting them leave to remain for five years and they have now moved to a house in Bolton. Zobdeh says he hopes to find a job and be able to afford a spare bedroom: “Then we can be hosts, too.” |
‘Our guest would happily make every family meal’ | ‘Our guest would happily make every family meal’ |
Bradford couple Sarah and her husband Joe (not their real names), both in their 40s, took in an asylum seeker earlier this year to live with them and their two primary school-aged children. | Bradford couple Sarah and her husband Joe (not their real names), both in their 40s, took in an asylum seeker earlier this year to live with them and their two primary school-aged children. |
“We have the space to do it – we live in a five-bedroom house and only use four of those rooms – and we wanted to do something practical. We also thought it would be a learning experience for our family. We talked to the children quite a lot about these issues and how lucky they were, and thought it would be good for them to learn about a completely different way of life. It was like leaping into the unknown,” says Sarah. | “We have the space to do it – we live in a five-bedroom house and only use four of those rooms – and we wanted to do something practical. We also thought it would be a learning experience for our family. We talked to the children quite a lot about these issues and how lucky they were, and thought it would be good for them to learn about a completely different way of life. It was like leaping into the unknown,” says Sarah. |
The family don’t go to church but heard about Beacon, a project run by Bradford’s churches to address the varied needs of the many asylum seekers who find themselves in the district. The charity recruits, trains and supports volunteer hosts to provide a home to destitute refused asylum seekers. Hosting provides guests with a secure, supportive environment in which they have the opportunity to research and gather the fresh evidence they need in order to submit a new asylum claim. | The family don’t go to church but heard about Beacon, a project run by Bradford’s churches to address the varied needs of the many asylum seekers who find themselves in the district. The charity recruits, trains and supports volunteer hosts to provide a home to destitute refused asylum seekers. Hosting provides guests with a secure, supportive environment in which they have the opportunity to research and gather the fresh evidence they need in order to submit a new asylum claim. |
The project, which has been run on a shoestring for the past seven years, has so far found hosts for 57 asylum seekers for an average of four to six months. Currently, six households in Bradford are hosting guests long term, two of whom have been with the project since the beginning and are “serial” hosts – one, a single professional woman, takes two guests at a time. A further three households are available for “relief” when the main hosts want a holiday or have visitors. | The project, which has been run on a shoestring for the past seven years, has so far found hosts for 57 asylum seekers for an average of four to six months. Currently, six households in Bradford are hosting guests long term, two of whom have been with the project since the beginning and are “serial” hosts – one, a single professional woman, takes two guests at a time. A further three households are available for “relief” when the main hosts want a holiday or have visitors. |
Sarah and Joe attended a basic four-session training course to give them information about the project and the opportunity to air any fears. “I was most nervous about us getting attached to the person, particularly the children, only for them to perhaps suddenly be detained when they go to sign on at the reporting centre,” says Sarah. “But we were told that that was a very rare, worst-case scenario.” | Sarah and Joe attended a basic four-session training course to give them information about the project and the opportunity to air any fears. “I was most nervous about us getting attached to the person, particularly the children, only for them to perhaps suddenly be detained when they go to sign on at the reporting centre,” says Sarah. “But we were told that that was a very rare, worst-case scenario.” |
She was also concerned whether the family could cope with someone who had been traumatised and whether her children would get upset to have someone who might be distressed living with them. | She was also concerned whether the family could cope with someone who had been traumatised and whether her children would get upset to have someone who might be distressed living with them. |
Will Sutcliffe, who runs the project on a voluntary basis, matched the family up with a woman in her 30s from an Asian country (the woman asked the Guardian not to be more specific for fear of identification). Sutcliffe discusses house rules with each household, which are then incorporated into an individual “guest agreement” that the guest signs. | Will Sutcliffe, who runs the project on a voluntary basis, matched the family up with a woman in her 30s from an Asian country (the woman asked the Guardian not to be more specific for fear of identification). Sutcliffe discusses house rules with each household, which are then incorporated into an individual “guest agreement” that the guest signs. |
Sarah did not lay down many rules, though she made it clear their guest was very welcome to eat with them as a family. She and her guest had to come to an agreement over the cooking. Her guest would happily cook every meal for the family but Sarah is a keen cook and wanted to prepare dinner often herself. Early on, she had to stop the guest leaping up as soon as everyone had finished eating and immediately washing up. “I had to tell her that I just couldn’t relax if she did that, and, anyway, in our house the rule is that if you cook, you don’t wash up,” says Sarah. | Sarah did not lay down many rules, though she made it clear their guest was very welcome to eat with them as a family. She and her guest had to come to an agreement over the cooking. Her guest would happily cook every meal for the family but Sarah is a keen cook and wanted to prepare dinner often herself. Early on, she had to stop the guest leaping up as soon as everyone had finished eating and immediately washing up. “I had to tell her that I just couldn’t relax if she did that, and, anyway, in our house the rule is that if you cook, you don’t wash up,” says Sarah. |
Sarah’s guest humbled the family from the first day. “She turned up with gifts for the children as well as something for me, which is so lovely, especially bearing in mind that anyone who comes to Beacon is destitute.” | Sarah’s guest humbled the family from the first day. “She turned up with gifts for the children as well as something for me, which is so lovely, especially bearing in mind that anyone who comes to Beacon is destitute.” |
It has been a learning experience for both sides. Sarah’s guest says she is most surprised about gender roles in the UK, and particularly about how Sarah and her husband shared the childcare equally. “I remember once going out one evening to see my friend and she said: ‘Are you taking the children with you?’ When I said no, I could see it dawn on her that I was leaving my husband to look after them,” says Sarah. “She finds it hilarious that both my partner and I had other relationships before we got together, and even more so that we are still friends with some of those people.” | It has been a learning experience for both sides. Sarah’s guest says she is most surprised about gender roles in the UK, and particularly about how Sarah and her husband shared the childcare equally. “I remember once going out one evening to see my friend and she said: ‘Are you taking the children with you?’ When I said no, I could see it dawn on her that I was leaving my husband to look after them,” says Sarah. “She finds it hilarious that both my partner and I had other relationships before we got together, and even more so that we are still friends with some of those people.” |
For her, the experience cemented her view that the UK government should have a much more welcoming attitude to asylum seekers. “Since the rise of Ukip there has been a race to the bottom among the parties, competing to say they would take a hard line on immigration. But we are not full and we have a duty to help others,” she says. | For her, the experience cemented her view that the UK government should have a much more welcoming attitude to asylum seekers. “Since the rise of Ukip there has been a race to the bottom among the parties, competing to say they would take a hard line on immigration. But we are not full and we have a duty to help others,” she says. |
For anyone considering becoming a host, Sarah has the following advice: “Don’t wait for the perfect time when you have no fears about it at all. It’s something very different and it’s natural to have fears about it. But the reality of doing it doesn’t actually feel like a major worthy thing. It’s not like we wake up every morning thinking, ‘Oh, aren’t we good?’ It feels very natural.” | For anyone considering becoming a host, Sarah has the following advice: “Don’t wait for the perfect time when you have no fears about it at all. It’s something very different and it’s natural to have fears about it. But the reality of doing it doesn’t actually feel like a major worthy thing. It’s not like we wake up every morning thinking, ‘Oh, aren’t we good?’ It feels very natural.” |
• For details of charities running hosting schemes for asylum seekers, see Naccom, the National No Accommodation Network | • For details of charities running hosting schemes for asylum seekers, see Naccom, the National No Accommodation Network |
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