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On a drab Tuesday Angelina Jolie covers Lords in stardust On a drab Tuesday Angelina Jolie covers Lords in stardust
(34 minutes later)
The usual purpose for any select committee to meet is to gather evidence for a report that a government may or may not take any notice of sometime in the distant future. But not always. Sometimes a select committee meets primarily to cover itself in the stardust of its witnesses. And witnesses don’t come much starrier and A-List than Angelina Jolie; the only thing that could have made Westminster more Hollywood on a drab Tuesday afternoon was if Brad had come along as well. The usual purpose for any select committee to meet is to gather evidence for a report that a government may or may not take any notice of sometime in the distant future. But not always. Sometimes a select committee meets primarily to cover itself in the stardust of its witnesses. And witnesses don’t come much starrier and A-List than Angelina Jolie. The only thing that could have made Westminster more Hollywood on a drab Tuesday afternoon was if Brad had come along as well.
Related: Angelina Jolie and William Hague quizzed in parliamentRelated: Angelina Jolie and William Hague quizzed in parliament
Just imagine the despair and envy that Keith Vaz – the chair of the home affairs committee who hates to be upstaged – was feeling in a nearby committee room that his top billing for the afternoon was Natalie Bouchart, the mayor of Calais. Just imagine the despair and envy that Keith Vaz, the chair of the home affairs committee who hates to be upstaged, was feeling in a nearby room that his top billing for the afternoon was Natacha Bouchart, the mayor of Calais.
The House of Lords select committee on sexual violence in conflict is one of those committees whose main virtue lies in its own existence. It has next to no hope of stopping the rape of women – and men – in conflicts around the world, but it is far better that is meets to acknowledge the problem than to do nothing. It is also one of the few committees in Westminster that almost always agrees on everything, because it would be surprising to find any peer – in public, at least – in favour of sexual violence.The House of Lords select committee on sexual violence in conflict is one of those committees whose main virtue lies in its own existence. It has next to no hope of stopping the rape of women – and men – in conflicts around the world, but it is far better that is meets to acknowledge the problem than to do nothing. It is also one of the few committees in Westminster that almost always agrees on everything, because it would be surprising to find any peer – in public, at least – in favour of sexual violence.
When it came to the arrival of Angelina the agreement levels went off the scale. This was the best thing that could ever possibly have happened to the committee: for probably the first time ever since the committee was first convened in June, not a seat in the public gallery went unfilled. When it came to the arrival of Angelina the agreement levels went off the scale. This was the best thing that could ever possibly have happened to the committee. For probably the first time ever since it was first convened in June, not a seat in the public gallery went unfilled.
A few of the noble lords and ladies tried to give the impression that hanging out with Angelina was all in a normal day’s work, but the general levels of tizziness betrayed their excitement. Lady Nicholson, the committee chair, could scarcely contain herself. “I’d like to offer a very, very warm welcome to our witnesses,” she said haltingly. “And could we thank Ms Jolie Pitt for giving the committee eight copies of her DVD, In the Land of Blood and Honey.” She didn’t say whether they had been signed or not, but we can assume yes.A few of the noble lords and ladies tried to give the impression that hanging out with Angelina was all in a normal day’s work, but the general levels of tizziness betrayed their excitement. Lady Nicholson, the committee chair, could scarcely contain herself. “I’d like to offer a very, very warm welcome to our witnesses,” she said haltingly. “And could we thank Ms Jolie Pitt for giving the committee eight copies of her DVD, In the Land of Blood and Honey.” She didn’t say whether they had been signed or not, but we can assume yes.
Angelina looked unruffled by her appearance before the committee, but then as A-listers so obviously inhabit a totally different world from the rest of us, it was hard to know what she was thinking or feeling. But she smiled at the right times and was unfailingly polite and apart from one slightly false note during which she felt obliged to mention the many brilliant and talented people she had worked with during her career – though, it was still a long way off the full Kate Winslett – she didn’t put a foot wrong. Angelina looked unruffled by her appearance before the committee, but then as A-listers so obviously inhabit a totally different world from the rest of us, it was hard to know what she was thinking or feeling. But she smiled at the right times and was unfailingly polite, and apart from one slightly false note during which she felt obliged to mention the many brilliant and talented people she had worked with during her career – though, it was still a long way off the full Kate Winslett – she didn’t put a foot wrong.
Which is more than can be said for one of her co-witnesses. William Hague is normally one of parliament’s most assured performers; urbane, witty and on top of his game. But there was something about Angelina that turned him into a stuttering ingenue.Which is more than can be said for one of her co-witnesses. William Hague is normally one of parliament’s most assured performers; urbane, witty and on top of his game. But there was something about Angelina that turned him into a stuttering ingenue.
Maybe he was annoyed that another witness, Lady Helic, had been placed in between him and Angelina to diffuse the sexual chemistry; or maybe he was just struggling to contain himself anyway, but Hague could barely utter a coherent sentence and blushed throughout. “Angelina and I,” he muttered demurely on several occasions, lowering his eyelids in private reverie. Maybe he was annoyed that another witness, Lady Helic, had been placed in between him and Angelina to diffuse the sexual chemistry, or maybe he was just struggling to contain himself anyway, but Hague could barely utter a coherent sentence and blushed throughout. “Angelina and I,” he muttered demurely on several occasions, lowering his eyelids in private reverie.
Eventually the hour was up – “We know you’ve got a very busy schedule,” said Lady Nicholson in her finest imitation of EF Benson’s Miss Mapp – and the room emptied. We had learned very little about sexual violence in conflict that wasn’t already widely known – that it was bad, hard to stop and the perpetrators needed to be punished. Angelina was as inscrutable as one of the world’s most famous women should be. There again, on the plus side, we did learn rather more about William Hague.Eventually the hour was up – “We know you’ve got a very busy schedule,” said Lady Nicholson in her finest imitation of EF Benson’s Miss Mapp – and the room emptied. We had learned very little about sexual violence in conflict that wasn’t already widely known – that it was bad, hard to stop and the perpetrators needed to be punished. Angelina was as inscrutable as one of the world’s most famous women should be. There again, on the plus side, we did learn rather more about William Hague.