Can everyone stop being mean to Jean-Claude Juncker?
|
Version 0 of 1. Name: Jean-Claude Juncker Age: 60 Appearance: A sensitive petal of a man, hiding his hurt feelings behind a pair of comically European spectacles. Hang on, isn’t this the guy who gads around Europe slapping overweight politicians on the belly? Technically, he’s best known as being the president of the European commission but, yes, he did do that once. That doesn’t sound like the behaviour of a sensitive man. You misunderstand me. Juncker only gets sensitive when he finds himself on the receiving end of criticism. Does that happen a lot? The man is the president of the European commission. It happens all the flipping time. Juncker basically spends his entire life being yelled at, especially by countries eager to use the EU as an unseen big baddy to deflect attention from their own weaknesses. On Wednesday he was heckled by Ukip MEP David Coburn. Juncker veered from his speech to give the brutal riposte: “What you are saying is worthless.” Oof! And back in July, he told Greeks that he was “profoundly hurt” by their reticence to accept a bailout deal, which is only slightly more professional than hand-posting sad photos of his own face through every letterbox in the country. True. And in November 2014, after David Cameron threatened to withhold a £1.7bn payment to the EU, he got quite sniffy about it in public. “I don’t have a problem with David Cameron,” he said. That doesn’t sound particularly sniffy. But we’re talking about the EU. Saying “I don’t have a problem” out loud is the high-level bureaucratic equivalent of taking someone outside and bottling them. So he’s making a habit of this? Wounded defensiveness is pretty much official policy now. Late last year, he also swore to respond to all criticism of Brussels, no matter how petty it was. That sounds tedious. It makes Juncker sound a bit like the EU version of Ricky Gervais. Kind of, except Jean-Claude Juncker didn’t write Derek, so the criticism is slightly less justified. So, wait. Are you for or against Juncker? Being this thin-skinned in public certainly does him no favours. Then again, his arch-enemy is Nigel Farage, so he can’t be that bad. Do say: “Jean-Claude Juncker is a sensible man with many valid opinions.” Don’t say: “Oi, Juncker, who cut your hair? The council?” |