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The glitz and glamour of the Frankfurt motor show The glitz and glamour of the Frankfurt motor show
(3 days later)
Deafening music reaches a crescendo, green lasers cut through the darkness, and a group of dancers clad in silver Lycra drift across the stage on motorised skateboards.Deafening music reaches a crescendo, green lasers cut through the darkness, and a group of dancers clad in silver Lycra drift across the stage on motorised skateboards.
Above them a constellation of glowing drones carries out a synchronised flying routine.Above them a constellation of glowing drones carries out a synchronised flying routine.
Through it all emerges a shimmering, futuristic limousine. The doors open and an elderly man steps out.Through it all emerges a shimmering, futuristic limousine. The doors open and an elderly man steps out.
He makes a rather lengthy speech, which includes a conversation by video link with a woman from "the future". There's a lot of polite clapping from the audience.He makes a rather lengthy speech, which includes a conversation by video link with a woman from "the future". There's a lot of polite clapping from the audience.
To the uninitiated, all of this might seem slightly odd, but at a major international motor show - such as this week's event in Frankfurt - it is entirely normal.To the uninitiated, all of this might seem slightly odd, but at a major international motor show - such as this week's event in Frankfurt - it is entirely normal.
Carmakers vie with one another to produce the most extravagant press launches, in an effort to grab a few precious headlines. It's certainly spectacular, but also undeniably cheesy.Carmakers vie with one another to produce the most extravagant press launches, in an effort to grab a few precious headlines. It's certainly spectacular, but also undeniably cheesy.
GimmicksGimmicks
Here in Frankfurt, the German manufacturers are under particular pressure to make an impact, because for them, it's a home gig. They all have huge pavilions, packed to the rafters with shiny new machinery. It's hot, noisy and very crowded - enough to give anyone a thumping headache.Here in Frankfurt, the German manufacturers are under particular pressure to make an impact, because for them, it's a home gig. They all have huge pavilions, packed to the rafters with shiny new machinery. It's hot, noisy and very crowded - enough to give anyone a thumping headache.
Sometimes, the pressure tells. On Tuesday the chief executive of BMW, Harald Krueger collapsed on stage during his keynote presentation.Sometimes, the pressure tells. On Tuesday the chief executive of BMW, Harald Krueger collapsed on stage during his keynote presentation.
According to the company, he'd felt ill beforehand, but decided to go ahead anyway. Appointed as chief executive back in May. and attending his first major motor show in the job, perhaps he felt he didn't have a choice.According to the company, he'd felt ill beforehand, but decided to go ahead anyway. Appointed as chief executive back in May. and attending his first major motor show in the job, perhaps he felt he didn't have a choice.
Often the machines which grab most attention at motor shows are the concept cars, those flights of engineering fancy that may or may not eventually get built - and that has certainly been the case here in Frankfurt.Often the machines which grab most attention at motor shows are the concept cars, those flights of engineering fancy that may or may not eventually get built - and that has certainly been the case here in Frankfurt.
To my mind, Porsche stole the show with its Mission E concept, a super-sleek 600bhp electric rocket, capable of travelling 500km (311 miles) on a single charge, and of replenishing its batteries within minutes.To my mind, Porsche stole the show with its Mission E concept, a super-sleek 600bhp electric rocket, capable of travelling 500km (311 miles) on a single charge, and of replenishing its batteries within minutes.
It comes with a few gimmicks clearly designed to attract headlines, such as a camera which monitors the driver's facial expressions in order to trigger smiley emoticons on the dashboard. It can even upload the results to social media.It comes with a few gimmicks clearly designed to attract headlines, such as a camera which monitors the driver's facial expressions in order to trigger smiley emoticons on the dashboard. It can even upload the results to social media.
Ignore such silliness, and you're left with a car that has clearly been designed to tame Tesla - the Californian brainchild of Silicon Valley billionaire Elon Musk. Tesla has already shown that you can have an electric car that offers Porsche-like performance. Porsche now wants that car to be… well, a Porsche.Ignore such silliness, and you're left with a car that has clearly been designed to tame Tesla - the Californian brainchild of Silicon Valley billionaire Elon Musk. Tesla has already shown that you can have an electric car that offers Porsche-like performance. Porsche now wants that car to be… well, a Porsche.
Mercedes also raised a few eyebrows with its rather Germanically-named Intelligent Aerodynamic Automobile, or IAA. It looks an awful lot sexier than it sounds, a gleaming super-smooth missile, which by looking ultra-modern, also somehow manages to appear super-retro, like something out of a 1950s sci-fi comic.Mercedes also raised a few eyebrows with its rather Germanically-named Intelligent Aerodynamic Automobile, or IAA. It looks an awful lot sexier than it sounds, a gleaming super-smooth missile, which by looking ultra-modern, also somehow manages to appear super-retro, like something out of a 1950s sci-fi comic.
It's been designed to showcase some super-advanced aerodynamics, including bodywork which moves at speed in order to reduce drag. Useful on a high-powered sportscar perhaps, but maybe not what you really need on your shopping runabout.It's been designed to showcase some super-advanced aerodynamics, including bodywork which moves at speed in order to reduce drag. Useful on a high-powered sportscar perhaps, but maybe not what you really need on your shopping runabout.
Both cars, though, highlight one of the key trends facing the car industry - the relentless march of technology.Both cars, though, highlight one of the key trends facing the car industry - the relentless march of technology.
Not so long ago car firms were simply industrial concerns. They bolted together mechanical stuff like engines and gearboxes in order to make cars, which always ran on petrol or diesel.Not so long ago car firms were simply industrial concerns. They bolted together mechanical stuff like engines and gearboxes in order to make cars, which always ran on petrol or diesel.
Nowadays, cars are festooned with gizmos such as adaptive cruise control, collision avoidance mechanisms and automatic parking systems. They can be electric, hybrids, plug in hybrids, fuel-cell powered and so on.Nowadays, cars are festooned with gizmos such as adaptive cruise control, collision avoidance mechanisms and automatic parking systems. They can be electric, hybrids, plug in hybrids, fuel-cell powered and so on.
As a result, cars are no longer just cars. They're mobile computers. So car companies are having to act more and more like technology businesses.As a result, cars are no longer just cars. They're mobile computers. So car companies are having to act more and more like technology businesses.
At the same time, tech firms like Google and Tesla are threatening to muscle in on their territory. The rules of the game are changing rapidly, and the big names are having to adapt.At the same time, tech firms like Google and Tesla are threatening to muscle in on their territory. The rules of the game are changing rapidly, and the big names are having to adapt.
But if the industry is changing dramatically in one sense, in another it remains rooted in the past. Car shows are resolutely, unrepentantly sexist affairs.But if the industry is changing dramatically in one sense, in another it remains rooted in the past. Car shows are resolutely, unrepentantly sexist affairs.
Male executives strut around in suits and hold important conversations, while many of the women wear rather less and stand around looking frankly rather bored. Their role is purely decorative, designed to sell a male fantasy of speed and sex.Male executives strut around in suits and hold important conversations, while many of the women wear rather less and stand around looking frankly rather bored. Their role is purely decorative, designed to sell a male fantasy of speed and sex.
In an industry which has only one female chief executive - General Motor's Mary Barra - this smacks of complacency. And given that many car buyers are actually women, you have to question whether it actually works. In an industry which has only two female chief executive - General Motor's Mary Barra and Linda Jackson of Citroën - this smacks of complacency. And given that many car buyers are actually women, you have to question whether it actually works.
Sales conundrumSales conundrum
Company bosses are, however, clearly thinking about another issue - declining sales in the markets where they had hoped to make hay. Just a couple of years ago, executives at shows like this were talking excitedly about the opportunities presented by emerging markets, such as Brazil, Russia and above all China.Company bosses are, however, clearly thinking about another issue - declining sales in the markets where they had hoped to make hay. Just a couple of years ago, executives at shows like this were talking excitedly about the opportunities presented by emerging markets, such as Brazil, Russia and above all China.
They've invested heavily in new models which are clearly designed with wealthy consumers in these markets in mind. So Frankfurt has been abuzz with talk of the hyper-luxurious Rolls Royce Dawn, the colossal Bentley Bentayga SUV, or the sportier Jaguar F-pace. New "sports utility vehicles" abound, because that's what these markets want.They've invested heavily in new models which are clearly designed with wealthy consumers in these markets in mind. So Frankfurt has been abuzz with talk of the hyper-luxurious Rolls Royce Dawn, the colossal Bentley Bentayga SUV, or the sportier Jaguar F-pace. New "sports utility vehicles" abound, because that's what these markets want.
But there's a problem. Sales in Brazil and Russia have tumbled dramatically this year, and even in China they've fallen recently. So carmakers have built plush new cars to cater for rapid growth in markets which are currently declining.But there's a problem. Sales in Brazil and Russia have tumbled dramatically this year, and even in China they've fallen recently. So carmakers have built plush new cars to cater for rapid growth in markets which are currently declining.
So far, there's no sign of panic, and executives at Frankfurt spoke to me in confident tones about a Chinese recovery. But there's no question it is a concern - and the longer Chinese sales are flagging, the greater it will become.So far, there's no sign of panic, and executives at Frankfurt spoke to me in confident tones about a Chinese recovery. But there's no question it is a concern - and the longer Chinese sales are flagging, the greater it will become.
None of this, of course will be of any concern to the crowds who will continue to flock to the show until it closes on 27 September. One thing the car industry is good at is putting on a fine display.None of this, of course will be of any concern to the crowds who will continue to flock to the show until it closes on 27 September. One thing the car industry is good at is putting on a fine display.
Meanwhile the hordes of executives, PRs, fixers and journalists have largely gone home - their job is done. I'm heading off too, feeling distinctly footsore.Meanwhile the hordes of executives, PRs, fixers and journalists have largely gone home - their job is done. I'm heading off too, feeling distinctly footsore.
Car shows may be all about driving, but as you rush from cavernous hall to cavernous hall, they don't half involve a lot of walking as well.Car shows may be all about driving, but as you rush from cavernous hall to cavernous hall, they don't half involve a lot of walking as well.