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Reluctant Corbynistas overshadowed by Labour's nuclear fallout Reluctant Corbynistas overshadowed by Labour's nuclear fallout
(about 1 hour later)
It could be just a coincidence, of course, but saving Lord Falconer and Andy Burnham for the final hours of the Labour conference had more than a hint of a precautionary measure.It could be just a coincidence, of course, but saving Lord Falconer and Andy Burnham for the final hours of the Labour conference had more than a hint of a precautionary measure.
There is always a risk of after the Lord Mayor’s show when the leader’s speech is made on the preceding day, and holding your most reluctant Corbynistas till after many people have already gone home felt like canny planning.There is always a risk of after the Lord Mayor’s show when the leader’s speech is made on the preceding day, and holding your most reluctant Corbynistas till after many people have already gone home felt like canny planning.
There again, such is the nature of the new consensual Labour politics that a disagreement can always pop up in the least likely places and Falconer and Burnham found themselves slightly overshadowed by a row between Jeremy Corbyn and his shadow defence secretary, Maria Eagle, over who would have control of the nuclear button.There again, such is the nature of the new consensual Labour politics that a disagreement can always pop up in the least likely places and Falconer and Burnham found themselves slightly overshadowed by a row between Jeremy Corbyn and his shadow defence secretary, Maria Eagle, over who would have control of the nuclear button.
Related: Trident divisions overshadow final day at Labour conferenceRelated: Trident divisions overshadow final day at Labour conference
Shadow cabinet meetings could get tense if Corbyn and Eagle keep edging their seats closer and closer to the red button in the nuclear bunker. “Over my dead body,” yells Corbyn. “If necessary,” Eagle snarls. The US defcon level might just have ratcheted up a notch.Shadow cabinet meetings could get tense if Corbyn and Eagle keep edging their seats closer and closer to the red button in the nuclear bunker. “Over my dead body,” yells Corbyn. “If necessary,” Eagle snarls. The US defcon level might just have ratcheted up a notch.
Blissfully unaware of the missiles that were flying around Brighton, Falconer was given a brief – very brief – opportunity to introduce himself as the shadow justice secretary. “I love Jeremy more than life itself,” he said loyally, in the by now obligatory catchphrase for anyone suspected of being slightly off the new message of Corbynloveandhope. “And I will take the fight to the hated Tories.”Blissfully unaware of the missiles that were flying around Brighton, Falconer was given a brief – very brief – opportunity to introduce himself as the shadow justice secretary. “I love Jeremy more than life itself,” he said loyally, in the by now obligatory catchphrase for anyone suspected of being slightly off the new message of Corbynloveandhope. “And I will take the fight to the hated Tories.”
Though not to the ones he quite likes: of which there are many. He was at his happiest in announcing that he had lost five-and-a-half stone since last speaking at conference. To be fair, he looked a lot better on it. And it could yet prove to be his greatest achievement.Though not to the ones he quite likes: of which there are many. He was at his happiest in announcing that he had lost five-and-a-half stone since last speaking at conference. To be fair, he looked a lot better on it. And it could yet prove to be his greatest achievement.
The last few weeks have not been kind to Burnham, either. Having gone from clear favourite for the Labour leadership to distant runner-up, Burnham has had to rethink his political ambitions even more radically than he had to rethink his political positions during his campaign. Right a bit, left a bit, right again, bit more right, no left, left, left. Fire. Missed. Bugger it.The last few weeks have not been kind to Burnham, either. Having gone from clear favourite for the Labour leadership to distant runner-up, Burnham has had to rethink his political ambitions even more radically than he had to rethink his political positions during his campaign. Right a bit, left a bit, right again, bit more right, no left, left, left. Fire. Missed. Bugger it.
But Burnham is a natural survivor; not to mention amnesiac. Having been one of the few former shadow cabinet ministers not to throw a strop and refuse a position in Corbyn’s team, the new shadow home secretary then promised a fresh style of doing politics where “principle would always come before presentation”. Coming from him, this took some nerve.But Burnham is a natural survivor; not to mention amnesiac. Having been one of the few former shadow cabinet ministers not to throw a strop and refuse a position in Corbyn’s team, the new shadow home secretary then promised a fresh style of doing politics where “principle would always come before presentation”. Coming from him, this took some nerve.
Related: Andy Burnham announces mission to win back voters from UkipRelated: Andy Burnham announces mission to win back voters from Ukip
Like Falconer, Burnham threw himself into such deep Jezza love that he managed to smuggle a few unpalatable messages past conference. He would be reaching out to disaffected Labour voters who were worried about immigration and had voted Ukip, and he was also happy with 5% to 10% cuts to the police budget.Like Falconer, Burnham threw himself into such deep Jezza love that he managed to smuggle a few unpalatable messages past conference. He would be reaching out to disaffected Labour voters who were worried about immigration and had voted Ukip, and he was also happy with 5% to 10% cuts to the police budget.
These were not exactly the soundbites that conference had come to hear over the past few days but Burnham spoke with such passion and urgency he had the ability to inspire universal false consciousness. Jezzadoration conquers all. Burnham got a reasonable ovation – better than he might have expected – though not the one he had really wanted the day before.These were not exactly the soundbites that conference had come to hear over the past few days but Burnham spoke with such passion and urgency he had the ability to inspire universal false consciousness. Jezzadoration conquers all. Burnham got a reasonable ovation – better than he might have expected – though not the one he had really wanted the day before.
It falls to the deputy leader to leave conference with a smile on its face. Tom Watson is not necessarily the right man for the job. He may resemble a less funny James Corden, but he also carries menace. It falls to the deputy leader to leave the conference with a smile on its face. Tom Watson is not necessarily the right man for the job. He may resemble a less funny James Corden, but he also carries menace.
Watson does his best to radiate charm but the bonhomie feels increasingly skin deep. His thanks to Harriet Harman included a pointed dig to one of Hattie’s least memorable achievements – the pink election bus – and despite his insistence that Labour must be the party for women, he gave no sense that he might not have been the best man for the job. Humility, like compassion, is hard won in politics.Watson does his best to radiate charm but the bonhomie feels increasingly skin deep. His thanks to Harriet Harman included a pointed dig to one of Hattie’s least memorable achievements – the pink election bus – and despite his insistence that Labour must be the party for women, he gave no sense that he might not have been the best man for the job. Humility, like compassion, is hard won in politics.
“Let’s kick the Tories down the street,” he yelled in a touching tribute version of his new, kinder Corbynism. Asking the Conservatives to politely move along might have been more in keeping.“Let’s kick the Tories down the street,” he yelled in a touching tribute version of his new, kinder Corbynism. Asking the Conservatives to politely move along might have been more in keeping.
The final rendition of The Red Flag was slightly louder and more heartfelt than usual; delegates had been mugging up on the lyrics the night before. Then came Jerusalem. The Labour Friends of Israel were anxious a new verse might be added - “Till we have nuked Jerusalem” - but for the time being, at least, Jezza was still in control of the red button. The final rendition of The Red Flag was slightly louder and more heartfelt than usual; delegates had been mugging up on the lyrics the night before. Then came Jerusalem. The Labour Friends of Israel were anxious a new verse might be added “Till we have nuked Jerusalem” but for the time being, at least, Jezza was still in control of the red button.