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‘What’s the most cocaine you’ve ever taken at one time?’: Steve Coogan answers your questions ‘What’s the most cocaine you’ve ever taken at one time?’: Steve Coogan answers your questions
(about 17 hours later)
We meet in Fulham, Coogan looking lean and clean-living, quietly amused; he looks to me throughout like a person thinking five funny things at any given moment, which he wouldn’t dream of saying because they’re too offensive. “It has taken me a long time,” he says at one point, “to arrive at a place right now. I’m really happy. I’m able to do things where I can express myself, do things I care about, have substance, and make them accessible. I don’t want to do esoteric, self-indulgent bollocks, I want to talk about important things, sincerely, in an entertaining way.” He pauses. It seems like “that’s nice” would be the wrong thing to say, yet it’s the only thing in my head. “The hardest thing to do,” he continues after a bit, “is to say something sincere and then stop speaking and accept the awkward silence.”We meet in Fulham, Coogan looking lean and clean-living, quietly amused; he looks to me throughout like a person thinking five funny things at any given moment, which he wouldn’t dream of saying because they’re too offensive. “It has taken me a long time,” he says at one point, “to arrive at a place right now. I’m really happy. I’m able to do things where I can express myself, do things I care about, have substance, and make them accessible. I don’t want to do esoteric, self-indulgent bollocks, I want to talk about important things, sincerely, in an entertaining way.” He pauses. It seems like “that’s nice” would be the wrong thing to say, yet it’s the only thing in my head. “The hardest thing to do,” he continues after a bit, “is to say something sincere and then stop speaking and accept the awkward silence.”
You made a campaign video for Labour in the run up to the general election. What is your take on the Jeremy Corbyn phenomenon and what do you think Labour needs to do to regain power in 2020? (Marc)You made a campaign video for Labour in the run up to the general election. What is your take on the Jeremy Corbyn phenomenon and what do you think Labour needs to do to regain power in 2020? (Marc)
I supported Andy Burnham but I honestly don’t know any more. On the one hand, I am worried. On the other hand, part of me thinks, this holy grail of middle England, held aloft by everyone as the thing: maybe that’s not the most important thing any more.I supported Andy Burnham but I honestly don’t know any more. On the one hand, I am worried. On the other hand, part of me thinks, this holy grail of middle England, held aloft by everyone as the thing: maybe that’s not the most important thing any more.
What is the most important thing? (ZW)What is the most important thing? (ZW)
Maybe it’ll be like the Arab spring, and all these people who are disenfranchised, especially younger people who are economically, disempowered because they can’t afford to live in a way that hasn’t happened before, if those people find a voice, then perhaps the hallowed ground of middle England will be less significant. If there is this groundswell of young people who actively want to change things, that’s quite exciting. That’s the optimist in me. But the pessimist in me thinks it’s all going to go to shit.Maybe it’ll be like the Arab spring, and all these people who are disenfranchised, especially younger people who are economically, disempowered because they can’t afford to live in a way that hasn’t happened before, if those people find a voice, then perhaps the hallowed ground of middle England will be less significant. If there is this groundswell of young people who actively want to change things, that’s quite exciting. That’s the optimist in me. But the pessimist in me thinks it’s all going to go to shit.
What gives you the right to tell me I should vote for Andy Burnham? (Cardinal Langley)What gives you the right to tell me I should vote for Andy Burnham? (Cardinal Langley)
As you get older, you become comfortable about having a group of people disapprove of your views. I don’t mind all of that. So I started being vociferous about my politics, even with the caveat that doing that, when I see it in others, I find it a bit annoying. Smug liberal celebrities … I find people who I agree with politically a bit annoying. But I think if you have a platform and you have things you believe in, then you should say something.As you get older, you become comfortable about having a group of people disapprove of your views. I don’t mind all of that. So I started being vociferous about my politics, even with the caveat that doing that, when I see it in others, I find it a bit annoying. Smug liberal celebrities … I find people who I agree with politically a bit annoying. But I think if you have a platform and you have things you believe in, then you should say something.
Have you become more rightwing as you have got older? (Lisa)Have you become more rightwing as you have got older? (Lisa)
No, I try to retain a sense of humour and humanity, but I get more and more angry. About vested interests and the establishment, and the old class system.No, I try to retain a sense of humour and humanity, but I get more and more angry. About vested interests and the establishment, and the old class system.
Do you think the world is more rightwing? (ZW)Do you think the world is more rightwing? (ZW)
Do you know what I watched the other day, just to remind me? The Spongers by Jim Allen, made in 1977. It’s about a family struggling on welfare. It sounds depressing, and it is depressing, but it’s brilliant, it’s really simple, and it articulates something that has been forgotten. It really bothers me that cynical postmodernism has legitimised this idea that basically giving a shit, caring about something, being sincere is all seen as naive and cliched and we’ve been there, done that. It didn’t work.Do you know what I watched the other day, just to remind me? The Spongers by Jim Allen, made in 1977. It’s about a family struggling on welfare. It sounds depressing, and it is depressing, but it’s brilliant, it’s really simple, and it articulates something that has been forgotten. It really bothers me that cynical postmodernism has legitimised this idea that basically giving a shit, caring about something, being sincere is all seen as naive and cliched and we’ve been there, done that. It didn’t work.
That was the whole 90s, wasn’t it, death to sincerity? (ZW)That was the whole 90s, wasn’t it, death to sincerity? (ZW)
I’m bored of irony. I got bored of it a long time ago. And also, I rail against acerbic cynicism, because to me it’s actually a very safe place to be. My adage is that the edgiest word to use at the moment isn’t “fuck”, “cunt”, “piss” or “shit”. It’s “love”. That’s what really makes people’s buttocks clench. It’s about being vulnerable. If you are vulnerable, it’s counterintuitive, it ultimately makes you stronger. And that’s a very hard thing to grasp.I’m bored of irony. I got bored of it a long time ago. And also, I rail against acerbic cynicism, because to me it’s actually a very safe place to be. My adage is that the edgiest word to use at the moment isn’t “fuck”, “cunt”, “piss” or “shit”. It’s “love”. That’s what really makes people’s buttocks clench. It’s about being vulnerable. If you are vulnerable, it’s counterintuitive, it ultimately makes you stronger. And that’s a very hard thing to grasp.
If you had not made it, what job would you be doing? (Michael)If you had not made it, what job would you be doing? (Michael)
I don’t know. Although I’m very focused on things creatively, I’m slightly useless on organisational day-to-day things. And because I’m successful creatively, those other skills I don’t have atrophy. I have people around me who do them for me. When I see an envelope with a window on it, I still want to walk away from it.I don’t know. Although I’m very focused on things creatively, I’m slightly useless on organisational day-to-day things. And because I’m successful creatively, those other skills I don’t have atrophy. I have people around me who do them for me. When I see an envelope with a window on it, I still want to walk away from it.
Is there any job that you wish you hadn’t done? (Kane)Is there any job that you wish you hadn’t done? (Kane)
Whenever I think of The Parole Officer, I squirm. And when someone says they like it, I think, “Really, why?” I’m pleased that they like it, but it’s like a children’s film.Whenever I think of The Parole Officer, I squirm. And when someone says they like it, I think, “Really, why?” I’m pleased that they like it, but it’s like a children’s film.
Would you rather permanently lose all the hair on your body (including eyebrows) or have to sneeze once every minute? (Bill)Would you rather permanently lose all the hair on your body (including eyebrows) or have to sneeze once every minute? (Bill)
I think probably I’m so vain, it’d be sneezing. It’s not the right choice, but it’s the one I would make.I think probably I’m so vain, it’d be sneezing. It’s not the right choice, but it’s the one I would make.
What sort of process did you go through to decide which elements of your life you wanted to include in your autobiography? (Gillian O’Hagan)What sort of process did you go through to decide which elements of your life you wanted to include in your autobiography? (Gillian O’Hagan)
My childhood is very, very palpable to me, important to me, very defining and very alive in my mind. So the book goes up to about 1992. It stops when I’d just become successful. Just before I lost direction a bit. I had a creative wilderness, I touch upon some of the more tabloidesque elements of my life, but I don’t dwell on them. That falls outside the period of the book.My childhood is very, very palpable to me, important to me, very defining and very alive in my mind. So the book goes up to about 1992. It stops when I’d just become successful. Just before I lost direction a bit. I had a creative wilderness, I touch upon some of the more tabloidesque elements of my life, but I don’t dwell on them. That falls outside the period of the book.
Imagine we’re in a lift. Is it better to pretend I don’t know who you are? Or tell you how much I admire your work? (Dyslexic Dave)Imagine we’re in a lift. Is it better to pretend I don’t know who you are? Or tell you how much I admire your work? (Dyslexic Dave)
It depends on my mood. Generally speaking, I like it when people say nice things about what I do. But I’d prefer to ask them about themselves.It depends on my mood. Generally speaking, I like it when people say nice things about what I do. But I’d prefer to ask them about themselves.
What’s your favourite Beatles album? Matthew Hayes (and others)What’s your favourite Beatles album? Matthew Hayes (and others)
Revolver, probably.Revolver, probably.
What does Simon Pegg owe you? I mean in relation to his career, as opposed to a a pair of socks and a cup-a-soup. (Rich)What does Simon Pegg owe you? I mean in relation to his career, as opposed to a a pair of socks and a cup-a-soup. (Rich)
I worked with him on my live tour about 18 years ago. He probably does owe me a little bit, but I also owe him a little bit, because I’d see him picking up tics, but I’d see some little expression or turn of phrase. I think it was symbiotic for a while, for a short period. I don’t want to overstate it.I worked with him on my live tour about 18 years ago. He probably does owe me a little bit, but I also owe him a little bit, because I’d see him picking up tics, but I’d see some little expression or turn of phrase. I think it was symbiotic for a while, for a short period. I don’t want to overstate it.
Generally, who makes you laugh? Who do you admire? (ZW)Generally, who makes you laugh? Who do you admire? (ZW)
I’m always impressed by people when I don’t quite know what they’re doing. So most comedy bores me. Generally, it’s the stuff that has no mechanics, you can’t see the structure, it’s just some abstraction that you don’t quite understand. That will have me on the floor. Stewart Lee is probably my favourite comic. That’s also to do with my changing tastes. I like things that are populist, but I also like things that are difficult and challenging and about something.I’m always impressed by people when I don’t quite know what they’re doing. So most comedy bores me. Generally, it’s the stuff that has no mechanics, you can’t see the structure, it’s just some abstraction that you don’t quite understand. That will have me on the floor. Stewart Lee is probably my favourite comic. That’s also to do with my changing tastes. I like things that are populist, but I also like things that are difficult and challenging and about something.
What’s your most peculiar memory? (John Rowland)What’s your most peculiar memory? (John Rowland)
When I was 11, I was knocked off my bike, I had severe concussion, and I lost my memory of the previous six months. And I remember waking up in a hospital and not knowing why I was there or how I’d got there. And I remember checking my injuries and trying to guess what had happened to me.When I was 11, I was knocked off my bike, I had severe concussion, and I lost my memory of the previous six months. And I remember waking up in a hospital and not knowing why I was there or how I’d got there. And I remember checking my injuries and trying to guess what had happened to me.
What’s the funniest thing anyone’s ever said? (Scratchmaster Cotter)What’s the funniest thing anyone’s ever said? (Scratchmaster Cotter)
It’s probably something said by children because it’s not been processed. It’s the unwitting profundity of children, when they say funny things, unselfconsciously.It’s probably something said by children because it’s not been processed. It’s the unwitting profundity of children, when they say funny things, unselfconsciously.
Are you extroverted or introverted? (Davey)Are you extroverted or introverted? (Davey)
I’m very comfortable in a guise. But in myself, I’m an introvert. I don’t court attention. I’ve never been the class clown. I don’t stand on the table, and I’m self-conscious. That’s not a self-deprecating thing, that’s the truth. In myself, it’s taken a long time to get comfortable with who I am. Introversion isn’t because you’re modest. It’s because you’re looking inside the whole time. I also don’t need the approbation of everybody about who I am. I don’t need people to go, “we all love you”. I don’t mind if some people hate me.I’m very comfortable in a guise. But in myself, I’m an introvert. I don’t court attention. I’ve never been the class clown. I don’t stand on the table, and I’m self-conscious. That’s not a self-deprecating thing, that’s the truth. In myself, it’s taken a long time to get comfortable with who I am. Introversion isn’t because you’re modest. It’s because you’re looking inside the whole time. I also don’t need the approbation of everybody about who I am. I don’t need people to go, “we all love you”. I don’t mind if some people hate me.
Has there ever been a time in your career where you thought it was never going to work out? (Melissa)Has there ever been a time in your career where you thought it was never going to work out? (Melissa)
When I started out, I went on television, I wore a shiny suit and did impersonations and Jimmy Tarbuck shook my hand, and I was 22. I didn’t do my time on the comedy circuit. There was probably a dim view taken of me by purist entertainers, and I was aware of that. I was aware of the snobbery and not wanting to be this parochial upstart, wanting to do stuff that was clever and informative and relevant. I remember ringing up producers and saying, “Can I do characters?” and they’d say, “No, you do impersonations.” And the phone stopped ringing. I went to the Edinburgh festival, sharing a flat with Frank Skinner, and people knew who I was and they didn’t know who he was, and the phone rang constantly, and it was always for him. I thought I’d ruined it by taking this tiny bit of television, like a mini-Faustian pact.When I started out, I went on television, I wore a shiny suit and did impersonations and Jimmy Tarbuck shook my hand, and I was 22. I didn’t do my time on the comedy circuit. There was probably a dim view taken of me by purist entertainers, and I was aware of that. I was aware of the snobbery and not wanting to be this parochial upstart, wanting to do stuff that was clever and informative and relevant. I remember ringing up producers and saying, “Can I do characters?” and they’d say, “No, you do impersonations.” And the phone stopped ringing. I went to the Edinburgh festival, sharing a flat with Frank Skinner, and people knew who I was and they didn’t know who he was, and the phone rang constantly, and it was always for him. I thought I’d ruined it by taking this tiny bit of television, like a mini-Faustian pact.
Will your book open “Pandora’s box of worms” as Steve has described the Courtney Love question? (Dafydd Hughes)Will your book open “Pandora’s box of worms” as Steve has described the Courtney Love question? (Dafydd Hughes)
I don’t think so. It dips its toe into a Pandora’s box of worms. But I’m hoping that rather than being an unpleasant experience, it will be more redolent of a fish pedicure.I don’t think so. It dips its toe into a Pandora’s box of worms. But I’m hoping that rather than being an unpleasant experience, it will be more redolent of a fish pedicure.
Related: Steve Coogan: 'It took me a long time to face up to my addiction'
That is disgusting (ZW)That is disgusting (ZW)
That’s the Alan answer.That’s the Alan answer.
Did Alan Partridge make you more or less attractive to women? (Jane Allen)Did Alan Partridge make you more or less attractive to women? (Jane Allen)
On balance, more. I do everything in my power to make him look unattractive. But just by dint of doing that, I was inevitably a pleasant surprise. Also, being funny is, for smart women, far more appealing than being macho.On balance, more. I do everything in my power to make him look unattractive. But just by dint of doing that, I was inevitably a pleasant surprise. Also, being funny is, for smart women, far more appealing than being macho.
Do you think the Leveson inquiry achieved its aims given that, to outward appearances at least, a few (minor) players were found guilty, yet the likes of Brooks walked away (and now are back at work)? (Dom)Do you think the Leveson inquiry achieved its aims given that, to outward appearances at least, a few (minor) players were found guilty, yet the likes of Brooks walked away (and now are back at work)? (Dom)
It’s a long, ongoing struggle. And we will continue to apply pressure. The most important thing, the thing that bothers me the most is, to us, regulation is always about protecting people from bullies. Those bullies might sometimes be the press and those bullies might be some big international pharmaceutical company that wants to silence the journalist, and the same mechanism should exist to protect both and can protect both.It’s a long, ongoing struggle. And we will continue to apply pressure. The most important thing, the thing that bothers me the most is, to us, regulation is always about protecting people from bullies. Those bullies might sometimes be the press and those bullies might be some big international pharmaceutical company that wants to silence the journalist, and the same mechanism should exist to protect both and can protect both.
But are you disappointed at how it’s gone so far? (ZW)But are you disappointed at how it’s gone so far? (ZW)
When I got involved, it wasn’t because I was on one side of the debate or the other, it was because I didn’t see a debate happening. The journalists held the megaphone and they framed it from the start. And there are lots of journalists who support us. The NUJ supports most of our aims, but it’s not painted that way. I feel that my detractors try to portray it in a black and white way that is reductive. Having said that, am I disappointed? Sometimes I am, but I’m quite philosophical about it. I’ve met lots of people who I wouldn’t have met, which has been very humbling, if I can borrow a Rupert Murdoch phrase.When I got involved, it wasn’t because I was on one side of the debate or the other, it was because I didn’t see a debate happening. The journalists held the megaphone and they framed it from the start. And there are lots of journalists who support us. The NUJ supports most of our aims, but it’s not painted that way. I feel that my detractors try to portray it in a black and white way that is reductive. Having said that, am I disappointed? Sometimes I am, but I’m quite philosophical about it. I’ve met lots of people who I wouldn’t have met, which has been very humbling, if I can borrow a Rupert Murdoch phrase.
How do you square your disgust at being hacked by Murdoch papers with making programmes for Sky? (John Fidler)How do you square your disgust at being hacked by Murdoch papers with making programmes for Sky? (John Fidler)
Well, I flip that around and say, should the fact that I make programmes for Sky, that allows us to do the things we want creatively, should that buy my silence? I’m prepared to criticise Murdoch. How many Telegraph writers criticise the Barclay brothers? How many Daily Mail writers criticise Lord Rothermere? I don’t see that happen very often. Because when you do speak out that carries a risk: “It’s far better for me to keep my mouth shut and say nothing.”Well, I flip that around and say, should the fact that I make programmes for Sky, that allows us to do the things we want creatively, should that buy my silence? I’m prepared to criticise Murdoch. How many Telegraph writers criticise the Barclay brothers? How many Daily Mail writers criticise Lord Rothermere? I don’t see that happen very often. Because when you do speak out that carries a risk: “It’s far better for me to keep my mouth shut and say nothing.”
You’ve played real life figures Tony Wilson and Paul Raymond but who would you like to play you in a film of your life? (Pingli)You’ve played real life figures Tony Wilson and Paul Raymond but who would you like to play you in a film of your life? (Pingli)
If it’s TV, Stephen Mangan. And if it’s film, Michael Sheen.If it’s TV, Stephen Mangan. And if it’s film, Michael Sheen.
Where would you go for a third Trip? (BK Garceau)Where would you go for a third Trip? (BK Garceau)
It needs to have some cultural reference with us and who we are. I think we should probably do America because of that complex relationship between the British and the Americans, the way we look down our nose at them but are obsessed with them.It needs to have some cultural reference with us and who we are. I think we should probably do America because of that complex relationship between the British and the Americans, the way we look down our nose at them but are obsessed with them.
Philomena deals with adoption and you talk proudly of your parents who admirably adopted into a busy household. Would you ever consider adopting, yourself? (Tim Longland)Philomena deals with adoption and you talk proudly of your parents who admirably adopted into a busy household. Would you ever consider adopting, yourself? (Tim Longland)
Would I adopt myself as a child or now?Would I adopt myself as a child or now?
Not adopting yourself. Adopting, yourself. (ZW)Not adopting yourself. Adopting, yourself. (ZW)
I’m too old. I don’t think my lifestyle is healthy for a child. My lifestyle of going all over the place. I’m having a debate at the moment about whether or not I can buy a dog.I’m too old. I don’t think my lifestyle is healthy for a child. My lifestyle of going all over the place. I’m having a debate at the moment about whether or not I can buy a dog.
What’s the most cocaine you’ve ever done at any one time? (Charlie Patmore)What’s the most cocaine you’ve ever done at any one time? (Charlie Patmore)
A dangerous amount.A dangerous amount.
Is it a peculiar trait of the British psyche that we view Partridge more affectionately than you? (Raphael Pour-Hashemi)Is it a peculiar trait of the British psyche that we view Partridge more affectionately than you? (Raphael Pour-Hashemi)
People prefer him because I’m not as funny. And I don’t think they really know a lot about me. If you go up and down the food chain, at the bottom, I get recognised for being in Top Gear, because I did that three times before I fell out with them because of the racism. Then Alan Partridge, then Philomena, then Michael Winterbottom, then a few people saw a Jim Jarmusch film I did. But whenever I do Alan, I never ever phone it in, I want it to be good. Because I think it’s funny too.People prefer him because I’m not as funny. And I don’t think they really know a lot about me. If you go up and down the food chain, at the bottom, I get recognised for being in Top Gear, because I did that three times before I fell out with them because of the racism. Then Alan Partridge, then Philomena, then Michael Winterbottom, then a few people saw a Jim Jarmusch film I did. But whenever I do Alan, I never ever phone it in, I want it to be good. Because I think it’s funny too.
Is life without alcohol as shit as it looks? (John Higgins)Is life without alcohol as shit as it looks? (John Higgins)
No. I’ve got to the stage now where I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to be able to make small talk when I’m completely sober. What happens is, everyone’s fun until about 11 o clock, wherever you are, and when they start to get boring and repetitive because they’re getting progressively more drunk and that’s when you go. I go home early now. I don’t think, ‘This is really rubbish,’ I’m just thinking, ‘I want to go home. I like the idea of going home.’ If you’ve got a drink in your hand, even boring people can be somewhat interesting. As long as you find interesting people, you don’t need a drink.No. I’ve got to the stage now where I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to be able to make small talk when I’m completely sober. What happens is, everyone’s fun until about 11 o clock, wherever you are, and when they start to get boring and repetitive because they’re getting progressively more drunk and that’s when you go. I go home early now. I don’t think, ‘This is really rubbish,’ I’m just thinking, ‘I want to go home. I like the idea of going home.’ If you’ve got a drink in your hand, even boring people can be somewhat interesting. As long as you find interesting people, you don’t need a drink.
Do you think the Queen has ever tried to do an impression of Alan Partridge? (Ian Balls)Do you think the Queen has ever tried to do an impression of Alan Partridge? (Ian Balls)
No.No.
Steve Coogan’s autobiography, Easily Distracted (Century) is published on 8 October.Steve Coogan’s autobiography, Easily Distracted (Century) is published on 8 October.
Steve Coogan will be in conversation with Armando Iannucci on Thursday 15 October, London, SW1H 9NH. To book tickets, visit membership.theguardian.comSteve Coogan will be in conversation with Armando Iannucci on Thursday 15 October, London, SW1H 9NH. To book tickets, visit membership.theguardian.com