Mrs Cameron’s diary: Dave’s wishlist? I literally cannot live without it

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/16/samantha-cameron-david-wishlist-green-crap

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Well Dave WILL not make up his mind #typical, I’m like please, even just a wishlist, anything is better than nothing, but I swear if the new kitchen is not done by Christmas I am literally out of here? Mummy’s like, darling, just go ahead, btw professional hint – you know green is having the biggest moment? I’m like rlly? She’s like, honestly, we are all beyond excited about GREEN, glorious green, add a shot of colour to your winter scheme!

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I’m like, excuse me, she’s like, it is all in my promotional mailshot – “this season it’s all about going green” – I’m like, you know what Dave thinks about green #crap, Mummy’s like, well show him Country Life, can you believe, THREE pages of me at home with our fabulous Stafford Dining Chair in sumptuous shrekissima velvet, with the shop’s number in TWICE, I put the green chairs in the green dining room with green curtains & just in case it still looked a little ungreen I am wearing green, I do not think I have been so proud since I invented the armorial waste bin! Do tell the Goveys if they can’t do the chairs on exes we have an exquisite emerald LAMP for a subtle & sophisticated colour hit, 15% discount?

I’m like *asking for a friend voice* I do not suppose you by any chance mentioned any other products or services associated with No 10 Downing Street that might be of interest to high-end property buyers, she’s like, you mean, like Dave’s quintessentially British torture consultants oh dear there was not space, I’m like, NO, I mean like massive luxe BAGS from a leather goods brand rooted in deep heritage?

She’s like, absolutely, the Smythson Portobello diary is one of the things Annabel literally “couldn’t live without” how marv is that with Christmas coming!

I’m like, with the phone number stroke email address? She’s like, well, not to boast, but obvs they were really more interested in my work, goodness knows why. I’m like *suppresses protracted scream* I would only point out, that if I was telling Country Life the things I literally could not live without I might mention a timeless statement calf leather tote for £1,495 instead of a £180 stocking filler #imjustsaying :(((