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Halloween was banned in my childhood, but that caused ignorance, not salvation Halloween was banned in my childhood, but that caused ignorance, not salvation
(about 3 hours later)
Halloween, I was told at age 4, is the devil’s day, which is why our family didn’t celebrate it. I nodded, satisfied by the answer to my question of why I couldn’t trick or treat that year, and went back to looking out the car window as we drove past a cemetery. Halloween, I was told at age four, is the devil’s day, which is why our family didn’t celebrate it. I nodded, satisfied by the answer to my question of why I couldn’t trick or treat that year, and went back to looking out the car window as we drove past a cemetery.
When I look back now, I’m not so upset about missing out on the holiday my entire childhood as I am that my parents’ rejection of it was painted as normal and acceptable. But at the time, I just thought, Why would I want anything to do with the devil?When I look back now, I’m not so upset about missing out on the holiday my entire childhood as I am that my parents’ rejection of it was painted as normal and acceptable. But at the time, I just thought, Why would I want anything to do with the devil?
Related: I couldn't find a Halloween costume for my daughter that wasn't labeled 'sexy' | Mary ValleRelated: I couldn't find a Halloween costume for my daughter that wasn't labeled 'sexy' | Mary Valle
So instead of dressing up, I stayed home and passed out candy and Christian tracts to the few visitors who came to our darkened door and sometimes attended our church’s Harvest Festival – Christianese for a Halloween-alternative with costumes of Biblical characters and performances to the Carmen song Champion, which evoked a battle between God and the Devil in decidedly Rocky-esque terms. I buried myself in reading my Bible, even trying to interpret Revelations on my own in third grade (supplemented by the kid version of the popular Left Behind book series). Reading about the end of the world was fine; dressing up and asking for candy was not.So instead of dressing up, I stayed home and passed out candy and Christian tracts to the few visitors who came to our darkened door and sometimes attended our church’s Harvest Festival – Christianese for a Halloween-alternative with costumes of Biblical characters and performances to the Carmen song Champion, which evoked a battle between God and the Devil in decidedly Rocky-esque terms. I buried myself in reading my Bible, even trying to interpret Revelations on my own in third grade (supplemented by the kid version of the popular Left Behind book series). Reading about the end of the world was fine; dressing up and asking for candy was not.
I was 19 the first time I really dressed up for Halloween, and even then, I couldn’t summon any real enjoyment. I hung out with my college friends and tried to explain away my awkwardness with the holiday. They shrugged and we went back to watching mindless videos on YouTube.I was 19 the first time I really dressed up for Halloween, and even then, I couldn’t summon any real enjoyment. I hung out with my college friends and tried to explain away my awkwardness with the holiday. They shrugged and we went back to watching mindless videos on YouTube.
But Halloween wasn’t the only childhood activity that I had to learn how to understand from scratch as a young adult. It was anything to do with non-Christian religion or spirituality, or any display of power outside of Jesus. Most Disney movies were off-limits when I was a kid because of witchcraft. There were a hundred things that I believed to be normal that I later found even my friends at my private Christian school found strange.But Halloween wasn’t the only childhood activity that I had to learn how to understand from scratch as a young adult. It was anything to do with non-Christian religion or spirituality, or any display of power outside of Jesus. Most Disney movies were off-limits when I was a kid because of witchcraft. There were a hundred things that I believed to be normal that I later found even my friends at my private Christian school found strange.
Christianity in my family amounted to a culture of fear. Interacting with the larger world – whether it was with representations of powerful (and therefore witchy) women or celebrating Halloween – was seen as an endorsement of the evilness depicted. Viewing forbidden media was engagement, which equaled action. Read Harry Potter? You may end up Wiccan. Wear a bikini? You may end up a slut. The fundamentalist Christianity I grew up with was a system of tyranny and imbalance. Everything was black and white.Christianity in my family amounted to a culture of fear. Interacting with the larger world – whether it was with representations of powerful (and therefore witchy) women or celebrating Halloween – was seen as an endorsement of the evilness depicted. Viewing forbidden media was engagement, which equaled action. Read Harry Potter? You may end up Wiccan. Wear a bikini? You may end up a slut. The fundamentalist Christianity I grew up with was a system of tyranny and imbalance. Everything was black and white.
And as a kid, I accepted it all. I was afraid to rebel, and when friends suggested watching anything like The Little Mermaid, I told the truth – that I wasn’t allowed to watch it. I wasn’t invited to many sleepovers.And as a kid, I accepted it all. I was afraid to rebel, and when friends suggested watching anything like The Little Mermaid, I told the truth – that I wasn’t allowed to watch it. I wasn’t invited to many sleepovers.
But we were following God and doing it right. We were obedient and faithfully preparing for the second coming of Christ. With salvation hanging in the balance, who could have time for even flirting with the idea of Halloween – which, in our minds, celebrated death and evil?But we were following God and doing it right. We were obedient and faithfully preparing for the second coming of Christ. With salvation hanging in the balance, who could have time for even flirting with the idea of Halloween – which, in our minds, celebrated death and evil?
There are implications for this sort of wilful misinterpretation that extend far beyond my lack of childhood sleepovers. The black and white thinking behind this misinterpretation isn’t as far from the thought that wearing a cat costume is the gateway to witchcraft to the thought that women who have abortions are just like slavemasters as it should be.There are implications for this sort of wilful misinterpretation that extend far beyond my lack of childhood sleepovers. The black and white thinking behind this misinterpretation isn’t as far from the thought that wearing a cat costume is the gateway to witchcraft to the thought that women who have abortions are just like slavemasters as it should be.
Halloween is only a small part of the story, though it may not seem that way when my friends tell childhood stories of Halloween candy hauls and I have nothing to add. It’s not even really the story. My experience with it was so limited, comparatively speaking, because it was cordoned off from the start. I never got to use my own mind, see the whole picture and decide for myself what I thought of the world before me.Halloween is only a small part of the story, though it may not seem that way when my friends tell childhood stories of Halloween candy hauls and I have nothing to add. It’s not even really the story. My experience with it was so limited, comparatively speaking, because it was cordoned off from the start. I never got to use my own mind, see the whole picture and decide for myself what I thought of the world before me.
Even as I step now into a more mature expression of my faith, it is difficult to shake the strict thinking of my past. It’s a constant process of re-examining my own sincerely held beliefs, old and new – something that too many people aren’t doing.Even as I step now into a more mature expression of my faith, it is difficult to shake the strict thinking of my past. It’s a constant process of re-examining my own sincerely held beliefs, old and new – something that too many people aren’t doing.