In defence of young, white British men

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/16/young-white-british-male-men-defence

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Who is the most derided group in Britain? The results are in, and as sure as you can say “NUS Lad Culture Seminar” it comes as no surprise: it’s young British white men in their 20s. A YouGov poll this week found that, of 48 distinct groups, defined by age, sex and ethnicity, people expect young British white men in their 20s to be the laziest, drunken and most promiscuous group in the country. They are also the group people think are most likely to take drugs – alongside another unpopular group in the poll, black Caribbean men in their 20s.

All of which makes me wonder which particular groups were taking the survey. This probably isn’t the case, but the results read as though the pollster’s methodology involved stopping the nation’s Hyacinth Buckets outside Marks & Spencer, and, numbed from years of tabloid headlines about “hoodies”, these respondents took the opportunity to opine about the shameful state of the youth of today. But to say that would be to stereotype baby boomers as 90s sitcom characters, which would be unfair, would it not? Never mind that the respondents seem to have built their perceptions of young white British men from Kevin and Perry Go Large.

There’s no doubt that young white men get a bad rap in the media

There’s no doubt that young white men get a bad rap in the media, and this paper is as guilty as anyone of lamenting the “crisis” of modern masculinity, apparently brought about by pornography, lad culture, socially sanctioned chauvinism, rape jokes, Top Gear, and Nuts magazine. This “protein shake and Grand Theft Auto” stereotype of manhood abounds. I won’t pretend that misogyny isn’t an issue for my age group – I have written extensively about it in the past, and my own university experience taught me that there’s a certain category of homosocial sports bro who you would think twice about trusting with your unattended drink. Young women remain the group most targeted for sexual violence, which is why the discussions about consent taking place on university campuses are as important as ever.

But I do not think it would be wrong to say that the media portrayal of young men has lacked nuance, in the same way that much of the media portrayal of young people in general lacks nuance. The 24-hour news cycle’s tendency to portray the negative over the positive undoubtedly plays a part, but I’d also argue that the lack of positive stories about younger people reflects their scarcity as voices in the media industry. This is a group that came of age in a recession facing unemployment, rising housing costs, and social exclusion. Perhaps they are a bit too busy to defend themselves.

To spout a classic line: some of my best friends are British white men in their 20s. The picture conjured by the survey does not resemble their values, the reality of their lives, or their personalities. Two have young daughters and are working hard to support their families; another is living abroad and in a long-term relationship. Those I went to university with are busting their arses in graduate jobs or establishing patchwork careers – freelancing, tutoring, any work going. They are kind and funny, clever and great company. They have a range of interests: surfing, Doctor Who, EDM, football, cookery, climbing, literature, gaming, politics, rap, travel and yes, for some of them, some of the time: drinking, and drugs (I’m more worried about the one who recently got into Dungeons and Dragons, to be honest).

Related: 'Traditional masculine values' are evolving, not dying | Ally Fogg

What emerges in reality is much more varied and complex than the stereotype: young men who are brilliant sons, boyfriends, and fathers, struggling with all the challenges of life, including economic hardship, bereavement, family breakdown, unemployment, and mental health issues.

Which is why, if I could meet the people who responded to that survey, who helped build this negative picture of young men, I would ask them to list all the men in their 20s they had come across in the last few weeks and see whether that changed their opinion.

Mine would include colleagues, a succession of friendly boiler engineers, the guy in trackies who was picking up his nan from the doctor’s surgery last night, the lad who works in Budgens, a lovely Kiwi guy called James who is a friend of my flatmate, my autistic brother, my cousin Tom who is a trainee accountant from Stockport recently returned from a year in Australia, my boyfriend’s brother (a carpenter who is becoming increasingly weary of new acquaintances comparing him with Jesus) and my friend Ed (the Dungeons and Dragons convert), not to mention the innumerable guys in bars and at parties who somehow managed not to be awful for the span of an entire evening. Now you try it.