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These ghoulish things These ghoulish things
(about 2 hours later)
By Denise Winterman BBC News MagazineBy Denise Winterman BBC News Magazine
"Happy wedding darling" Jake Chapman with Dea's, er, portraitWith his brother Dinos, Jake Chapman is one of Britain's most controversial modern artists - those dummies of children with phalluses... that was them. So what happened when an unsuspecting customer asked him to paint her wedding gift?"Happy wedding darling" Jake Chapman with Dea's, er, portraitWith his brother Dinos, Jake Chapman is one of Britain's most controversial modern artists - those dummies of children with phalluses... that was them. So what happened when an unsuspecting customer asked him to paint her wedding gift?
From mutilated mannequins to a bloody rendition of Hell, the Chapmans' art is not for the squeamish.From mutilated mannequins to a bloody rendition of Hell, the Chapmans' art is not for the squeamish.
If you're unsure of what you will see there's usually a heavy clue in the title of their exhibitions, such as last year's show Like a Dog Returns to Its Vomit.If you're unsure of what you will see there's usually a heavy clue in the title of their exhibitions, such as last year's show Like a Dog Returns to Its Vomit.
The Brothers Grim, as they are known, have been short-listed for the Turner Prize and their work changes hands for millions of pounds. Despite this, they still wouldn't be many people's first choice when picking someone to do a portrait of their future wife as a wedding present.The Brothers Grim, as they are known, have been short-listed for the Turner Prize and their work changes hands for millions of pounds. Despite this, they still wouldn't be many people's first choice when picking someone to do a portrait of their future wife as a wedding present.
But that is the situation Dea Brovig, 29, found herself in when her fiance, Jan, paid to have her portrait painted by Jake Chapman at last month's Frieze Art Fair in London. The two artists had set themselves up in a mocked-up front room to do portraits in just 30 minutes for £4,500 a pop.But that is the situation Dea Brovig, 29, found herself in when her fiance, Jan, paid to have her portrait painted by Jake Chapman at last month's Frieze Art Fair in London. The two artists had set themselves up in a mocked-up front room to do portraits in just 30 minutes for £4,500 a pop.
Huge investmentHuge investment
"We both love art but we are not collectors," says Ms Brovig. "For us buying a £4,500 painting is a huge investment, not to mention completely out of character. But Jan had been looking for the perfect wedding present to give me."We both love art but we are not collectors," says Ms Brovig. "For us buying a £4,500 painting is a huge investment, not to mention completely out of character. But Jan had been looking for the perfect wedding present to give me.
I was in shock but I found myself saying I loved it Dea Brovig, pictured here the moment she saw the picture "Sitting for a portrait with Jake Chapman, one of the most renowned artists in the UK today, would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience and one from which we'd have a keepsake for the rest of our lives. I couldn't imagine anything more special and I couldn't believe it when Jan signed me up."I was in shock but I found myself saying I loved it Dea Brovig, pictured here the moment she saw the picture "Sitting for a portrait with Jake Chapman, one of the most renowned artists in the UK today, would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience and one from which we'd have a keepsake for the rest of our lives. I couldn't imagine anything more special and I couldn't believe it when Jan signed me up."
The couple were familiar with the Chapmans' work and were no illusion that it would be a flattering likeness. But most of pictures they saw being done were quite straightforward.The couple were familiar with the Chapmans' work and were no illusion that it would be a flattering likeness. But most of pictures they saw being done were quite straightforward.
"As I sat down Jake was very charming, he gave me a smile and asked me what I wanted him to do," says Ms Brovig. "I told him he could just do what he wanted. I got the impression that might have been a little dangerous so I volunteered that it was a wedding present from my fiance. His eyes immediately lit up.""As I sat down Jake was very charming, he gave me a smile and asked me what I wanted him to do," says Ms Brovig. "I told him he could just do what he wanted. I got the impression that might have been a little dangerous so I volunteered that it was a wedding present from my fiance. His eyes immediately lit up."
As she'd been waiting Dea had fussed over her hair and make-up. She needn't have bothered.As she'd been waiting Dea had fussed over her hair and make-up. She needn't have bothered.
The perfect wedding present?The portrait showed a part-human face, with the upper right quarter decomposing and an eyeball popping out of the socket. A devil's tongue poked out of her mouth. Frankly, Picasso's Guernica would have been a more romantic present.The perfect wedding present?The portrait showed a part-human face, with the upper right quarter decomposing and an eyeball popping out of the socket. A devil's tongue poked out of her mouth. Frankly, Picasso's Guernica would have been a more romantic present.
A young child who saw the portrait being unveiled announced it looked like a corpse. He wasn't far off the mark. Chapman thought it was hilarious - the comment and the portrait.A young child who saw the portrait being unveiled announced it looked like a corpse. He wasn't far off the mark. Chapman thought it was hilarious - the comment and the portrait.
"I was in shock but I found myself saying I loved it and in a way I do love it," says Ms Brovig. "I love the idea and I love the story, even if it ended up as a rather expensive joke.""I was in shock but I found myself saying I loved it and in a way I do love it," says Ms Brovig. "I love the idea and I love the story, even if it ended up as a rather expensive joke."
'Phenomenally cool''Phenomenally cool'
Some might think she got off lightly, one woman's portrait reportedly showed a large penis balanced on a see-saw, while another depicted a seven-headed genitalia.Some might think she got off lightly, one woman's portrait reportedly showed a large penis balanced on a see-saw, while another depicted a seven-headed genitalia.
They, like Ms Brovig, are probably wondering what to do with their picture when they finally get their hands on them. (From December until March 2007 the portraits will be on display at the Tate Liverpool in the Jake and Dinos Chapman: Bad Art for Bad People exhibition.They, like Ms Brovig, are probably wondering what to do with their picture when they finally get their hands on them. (From December until March 2007 the portraits will be on display at the Tate Liverpool in the Jake and Dinos Chapman: Bad Art for Bad People exhibition.
"I don't know what on earth to do with it," says Ms Brovig. I don't think I will have it on my wall, but I will get it out to show people. It will certainly be an interesting talking point at dinner parties.""I don't know what on earth to do with it," says Ms Brovig. I don't think I will have it on my wall, but I will get it out to show people. It will certainly be an interesting talking point at dinner parties."
An imagined scene in World War II entitled Hell, by the ChapmansThe couple hope the portrait might be a profitable investment. Turner Prize judge Andrew Renton says it will.An imagined scene in World War II entitled Hell, by the ChapmansThe couple hope the portrait might be a profitable investment. Turner Prize judge Andrew Renton says it will.
"It might not make them millionaires but it is certainly money in the bank. Jake and Dinos Chapman are two of the most important and respected artists in Britain today and anything they do has value."It might not make them millionaires but it is certainly money in the bank. Jake and Dinos Chapman are two of the most important and respected artists in Britain today and anything they do has value.
"They couldn't have done what they did with the portraits unless there was strong market for their art. It is very desirable and pieces have gone for millions of pounds. Paying £4,500 for the portrait is not a mistake and is a phenomenally cool wedding present.""They couldn't have done what they did with the portraits unless there was strong market for their art. It is very desirable and pieces have gone for millions of pounds. Paying £4,500 for the portrait is not a mistake and is a phenomenally cool wedding present."
It also made the artists some spare cash. Between them they painted two portraits an hour, eight hours a day for four days. That's £288,000.It also made the artists some spare cash. Between them they painted two portraits an hour, eight hours a day for four days. That's £288,000.
'No Rembrandt''No Rembrandt'
Knowing what she now knows, Dea Brovig says she wouldn't have Chapman do her portrait again.Knowing what she now knows, Dea Brovig says she wouldn't have Chapman do her portrait again.
"Not that I can complain of any injustice, we knew exactly what chance we were taking when we signed up and we can hardly claim that we were expecting a Rembrandt," she says."Not that I can complain of any injustice, we knew exactly what chance we were taking when we signed up and we can hardly claim that we were expecting a Rembrandt," she says.
"While it may not be quite what we were hoping for, we're still the lucky owners of a Jake Chapman painting. I keep reminding myself of my portrait's one big redeeming feature. I am very pleased to note that there isn't a single penis painted on or anywhere near my face. That, at least, is something.""While it may not be quite what we were hoping for, we're still the lucky owners of a Jake Chapman painting. I keep reminding myself of my portrait's one big redeeming feature. I am very pleased to note that there isn't a single penis painted on or anywhere near my face. That, at least, is something."


Add your comments to this story, using the form below.Add your comments to this story, using the form below.
A fool and his money are easily parted - the buyers deserves all they got. As for the artist(?), why do we put up with pretentious rubbish like this? It's not art and it never will be!!!Barry Scott Mackenzie, London UK
How ace! I love art and I love the Chapman brothers, they are total nutters. If I had one of these portraits done i'd so put it up on my wall, even if there was a giant penis in it. How amazing would it be? and such a talking point. I love the humour of their work and would be happy and proud to have it on my wall, especially if it was specially painted for me - how many average people can say they had a renowned artist paint their portrait?! Wack it up on your wall girl, what fun.Amanda, London
Trite, tasteless and talentless.Yes, Ms Brovig, a very sound investment strategy.Robert Michell, Cardiff
i think their art is amazing. the depth and meaning. i also love their work 'hell' art needs more controvery and talent, as opposed to watercolour scenery and vases of flowerslisa , pocklington, united kingdom
New clothes Emperor?Matt, London
My 12 year old brother could do that.Martin, London, UK
I think these pictures have a real honesty about them, this is where art is going in the 21st Century and people have to let go of old school cliches. Some may find repulsive but I would definatly invest in themLiz Fishback, Pittsburgh, USA
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