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| Miss Colombia – and five other names people got very wrong | Miss Colombia – and five other names people got very wrong |
| (34 minutes later) | |
| “What’s in a name?” wrote Shakespeare, possibly anticipating the fact that people would still be questioning his true identity hundreds of years later. | “What’s in a name?” wrote Shakespeare, possibly anticipating the fact that people would still be questioning his true identity hundreds of years later. |
| Related: Crown slips as Miss Universe 2015 host names the wrong woman as winner | Related: Crown slips as Miss Universe 2015 host names the wrong woman as winner |
| Well, quite a lot, it turns out, when you’re nominated for an award and winning it relies on your name being called correctly. I refer to the excruciating moment during last night’s Miss Universe competition when the host, Steve Harvey, erroneously named Miss Colombia as the winner. It was, in fact, Miss Philippines who had triumphed. | |
| If you have yet to watch footage of the incident, and have cushions to hide behind and a bucket of Valium to hand, you can view it below. The moment the crown is lifted off Miss Colombia’s silky tresses – think of a kitten being pulled from a child’s lap – will crush you. | If you have yet to watch footage of the incident, and have cushions to hide behind and a bucket of Valium to hand, you can view it below. The moment the crown is lifted off Miss Colombia’s silky tresses – think of a kitten being pulled from a child’s lap – will crush you. |
| Harley has since apologised for his screw-up in a tweet, in which he spelt both Colombia and the Philippines wrong. It’s fair to say that Harley is probably at home right now, chastising himself in front of a mirror. Small consolation for Miss Colombia, who – I should emphasise – wasn’t given the birth name “Miss Colombia”. These things happen, though. These things happen rather a lot, actually… | Harley has since apologised for his screw-up in a tweet, in which he spelt both Colombia and the Philippines wrong. It’s fair to say that Harley is probably at home right now, chastising himself in front of a mirror. Small consolation for Miss Colombia, who – I should emphasise – wasn’t given the birth name “Miss Colombia”. These things happen, though. These things happen rather a lot, actually… |
| Idina Menzel becomes Adele Dazeem | Idina Menzel becomes Adele Dazeem |
| As I wrote at the time, the star of the 2014 Academy Awards – and probably the entire year – didn’t even exist. This was the time John Travolta, inviting her to the stage, pronounced actor Idina Menzel’s name as azhfgfljfefhisjkfs. | As I wrote at the time, the star of the 2014 Academy Awards – and probably the entire year – didn’t even exist. This was the time John Travolta, inviting her to the stage, pronounced actor Idina Menzel’s name as azhfgfljfefhisjkfs. |
| The closest approximation anyone could think of was “Adele Dazeem”. A meme was born. Watching this clip over still makes me howl with laughter. Then down a shot of whiskey. Then wonder when Jorn Tromolto will peel off his mask and reveal himself to be the extraterrestrial we all suspect he might be. | The closest approximation anyone could think of was “Adele Dazeem”. A meme was born. Watching this clip over still makes me howl with laughter. Then down a shot of whiskey. Then wonder when Jorn Tromolto will peel off his mask and reveal himself to be the extraterrestrial we all suspect he might be. |
| Australia’s (almost) next top model | Australia’s (almost) next top model |
| 2010. The final of the sixth series of Australia’s next top model. “The voting has been so close. We really had no idea who was going to win tonight,” host Sarah Murdoch said just before announcing the victor. Trouble was, she still didn’t actually know, and when no name was fed to her through her earpiece, she said the name of the contestant who had been leading up to that point. | 2010. The final of the sixth series of Australia’s next top model. “The voting has been so close. We really had no idea who was going to win tonight,” host Sarah Murdoch said just before announcing the victor. Trouble was, she still didn’t actually know, and when no name was fed to her through her earpiece, she said the name of the contestant who had been leading up to that point. |
| But Kelsey Martinovich hadn’t won. The worst part of the whole episode is it took so long for the correction to be made. The camera had already panned to family members in the audience hugging. Martinovich had already given her gracious thanks to her fellow contestants. Then suddenly – a look of fear in Murdorch’s eyes as she pressed down on her earpiece. You could almost hear the bowels churning, the clunk of the studio exec picking up the phone. | But Kelsey Martinovich hadn’t won. The worst part of the whole episode is it took so long for the correction to be made. The camera had already panned to family members in the audience hugging. Martinovich had already given her gracious thanks to her fellow contestants. Then suddenly – a look of fear in Murdorch’s eyes as she pressed down on her earpiece. You could almost hear the bowels churning, the clunk of the studio exec picking up the phone. |
| “I’m feeling a bit sick about this,” she said, and announced that the other finalist, Amanda Ware, had triumphed. Credit to all of them though – each handled the kind of experience that would see the rest of us never the leave the house for a decade with total elan. | “I’m feeling a bit sick about this,” she said, and announced that the other finalist, Amanda Ware, had triumphed. Credit to all of them though – each handled the kind of experience that would see the rest of us never the leave the house for a decade with total elan. |
| The Oh factor | The Oh factor |
| As in “oh shit”. Earlier this year, an ex-contestant and presenter of The X Factor, Olly Murs, made a blunder by prematurely announcing that Monica Michael had been voted out of the competition. But as part of the rigmarole of The X Factor live shows, which have more false endings than a Peter Jackson film, there was supposed to be a “deadlock” situation to | As in “oh shit”. Earlier this year, an ex-contestant and presenter of The X Factor, Olly Murs, made a blunder by prematurely announcing that Monica Michael had been voted out of the competition. But as part of the rigmarole of The X Factor live shows, which have more false endings than a Peter Jackson film, there was supposed to be a “deadlock” situation to |
| milk more cash from viewers | milk more cash from viewers |
| allow lines to stay open. | allow lines to stay open. |
| Michael said she felt sorry for Murs for his mistake, and he apologised on Twitter, writing that it was a massive “f%#k” up. But we’ll forgive him, because Seasons is one of the best pop songs of 2014. | Michael said she felt sorry for Murs for his mistake, and he apologised on Twitter, writing that it was a massive “f%#k” up. But we’ll forgive him, because Seasons is one of the best pop songs of 2014. |
| Terry wrong ’un | Terry wrong ’un |
| In 2007 Sir Terry Wogan wrongly announced Cyndi as the act who had been chosen to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. Unfortunately for literally everyone, he was wrong, and Scooch had won instead. Scooch. You remember them. They dressed like airplane pilots in what was probably supposed to replicate Britney Spears in the Toxic video, except Britney is Emirates and Scooch were easyJet. Charlotte Church called their song “absolute shit”. | In 2007 Sir Terry Wogan wrongly announced Cyndi as the act who had been chosen to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. Unfortunately for literally everyone, he was wrong, and Scooch had won instead. Scooch. You remember them. They dressed like airplane pilots in what was probably supposed to replicate Britney Spears in the Toxic video, except Britney is Emirates and Scooch were easyJet. Charlotte Church called their song “absolute shit”. |
| None of this really matters, however, as their song came 22nd in the actual contest. All anybody remembers is Wogan’s gaffe and Fearne Cotton – on a rare break from not hanging out with Princes William and Harry and enjoying it way too much – looking furious. | None of this really matters, however, as their song came 22nd in the actual contest. All anybody remembers is Wogan’s gaffe and Fearne Cotton – on a rare break from not hanging out with Princes William and Harry and enjoying it way too much – looking furious. |
| He Who Shall Not Be Named, Because None Of You Can Get It Right | He Who Shall Not Be Named, Because None Of You Can Get It Right |
| Finally, in case you are reading this with ever-growing schadenfreude, you may not be off the hook. In one of the most delicious screw-ups of fictional characters’ names (although Ross saying “Rachel” at his wedding to Emily will always be up there for me), JK Rowling announced that we had all being saying Voldemort wrong this whole time. The entire time. | Finally, in case you are reading this with ever-growing schadenfreude, you may not be off the hook. In one of the most delicious screw-ups of fictional characters’ names (although Ross saying “Rachel” at his wedding to Emily will always be up there for me), JK Rowling announced that we had all being saying Voldemort wrong this whole time. The entire time. |
| Apparently the “t” is silent. I know. Stupid. Rowling admits she is the only person who actually pronounces it that way, which is just as well, as people online were not happy about it (people online are never happy). It was, however, brutal news for those of us who didn’t go to private school and so had pronounced Hermione wrong for almost EIGHT years (hi, her-mee-own) to learn that we’d also screwed up Voldermort’s name. Thank god for Ron, to be honest. Good old Ron. | Apparently the “t” is silent. I know. Stupid. Rowling admits she is the only person who actually pronounces it that way, which is just as well, as people online were not happy about it (people online are never happy). It was, however, brutal news for those of us who didn’t go to private school and so had pronounced Hermione wrong for almost EIGHT years (hi, her-mee-own) to learn that we’d also screwed up Voldermort’s name. Thank god for Ron, to be honest. Good old Ron. |
| ... but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who pronounces it that way. https://t.co/HxhJ5XY5HP | ... but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who pronounces it that way. https://t.co/HxhJ5XY5HP |