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Lin Homer, Dame Disaster, puts in a classic display before the PAC Lin Homer, Dame Disaster, puts in a classic display before MPs
(about 4 hours later)
Just imagine the rewards for success. Lin Homer, the chief executive of HMRC, was made a dame in the New Year honours list after a year in which her organisation was accused of letting HSBC get away with systematic tax evasion and providing abysmal levels of service to the public.Just imagine the rewards for success. Lin Homer, the chief executive of HMRC, was made a dame in the New Year honours list after a year in which her organisation was accused of letting HSBC get away with systematic tax evasion and providing abysmal levels of service to the public.
This on top of a career in which she resigned as chief executive of Birmingham city council following a vote rigging scandal, and accidentally allowing more than 100,000 asylum seekers to stay in the country when she was head of the UK Border Agency.This on top of a career in which she resigned as chief executive of Birmingham city council following a vote rigging scandal, and accidentally allowing more than 100,000 asylum seekers to stay in the country when she was head of the UK Border Agency.
Related: HMRC chief Lin Homer to step downRelated: HMRC chief Lin Homer to step down
“Welcome Dame Lin,” said Meg Hillier, chair of the public accounts committee, as Dame Disaster prepared to face what should be her last hearing before disappearing into the sunset with her £2.2m pension. “Welcome Dame Lin,” said Meg Hillier, chair of the public accounts committee (PAC), as Dame Disaster prepared to face what should be her last hearing before disappearing into the sunset with her £2.2m pension.
“Thank you,” replied Dame Disaster, looking only moderately surprised not to have been made a countess for her contribution to public life.“Thank you,” replied Dame Disaster, looking only moderately surprised not to have been made a countess for her contribution to public life.
The PAC is a much tamer affair now that Margaret Hodge has stood down as its chair, but it does still have its own pet rotty in the bullet-headed Stephen Phillips who manages to fit in his work as MP with a £750,000 day job as a QC. There’s nothing Phillips likes more than raw meat, and in Homer he has easy prey.The PAC is a much tamer affair now that Margaret Hodge has stood down as its chair, but it does still have its own pet rotty in the bullet-headed Stephen Phillips who manages to fit in his work as MP with a £750,000 day job as a QC. There’s nothing Phillips likes more than raw meat, and in Homer he has easy prey.
What did Dame Disaster think about the fact the Financial Conduct Authority wasn’t going to pursue criminal charges against HSBC? Dame Disaster had no real feelings about it one way or the other.What did Dame Disaster think about the fact the Financial Conduct Authority wasn’t going to pursue criminal charges against HSBC? Dame Disaster had no real feelings about it one way or the other.
Hadn’t HMRC failed to provide the FCA with evidence because the French wouldn’t like it? Dame Disaster said she wouldn’t put it quite like that but, basically, yes. Hadn’t the French long since said they would have been quite happy for HMRC to share their data with the FCA. Dame Disaster agreed that was one possible interpretation of the French saying, “Oui”.Hadn’t HMRC failed to provide the FCA with evidence because the French wouldn’t like it? Dame Disaster said she wouldn’t put it quite like that but, basically, yes. Hadn’t the French long since said they would have been quite happy for HMRC to share their data with the FCA. Dame Disaster agreed that was one possible interpretation of the French saying, “Oui”.
“So HSBC have got away scot-free,” Phillips concluded.“So HSBC have got away scot-free,” Phillips concluded.
Related: HSBC escapes action by City regulator following Swiss tax scandalRelated: HSBC escapes action by City regulator following Swiss tax scandal
Dame Disaster merely shrugged. What else did he expect? Wasn’t it for exactly that kind of incompetence she had been made a dame?Dame Disaster merely shrugged. What else did he expect? Wasn’t it for exactly that kind of incompetence she had been made a dame?
Phillips sat back theatrically and let the others have a go. Dame Disaster visibly relaxed and returned to her default setting of saying nothing very much in as incomprehensible manner as possible to make it look like she was on top of her brief.Phillips sat back theatrically and let the others have a go. Dame Disaster visibly relaxed and returned to her default setting of saying nothing very much in as incomprehensible manner as possible to make it look like she was on top of her brief.
To be fair to Dame Disaster, she’s a marginally sharper pencil than her sidekick, Jennie Granger, HMRC’s director general of fraud and compliance; though the bar is admittedly very low. Granger’s method of answering questions on why £16bn of tax remains uncollected each year, either through fraud or evasion, was to start her answers in an almost inaudible whisper and to end them mouthing random words. By which time, no one – not even her – was any the wiser.To be fair to Dame Disaster, she’s a marginally sharper pencil than her sidekick, Jennie Granger, HMRC’s director general of fraud and compliance; though the bar is admittedly very low. Granger’s method of answering questions on why £16bn of tax remains uncollected each year, either through fraud or evasion, was to start her answers in an almost inaudible whisper and to end them mouthing random words. By which time, no one – not even her – was any the wiser.
Fortunately Dame Disaster was on hand to help her out. What the committee should really be looking at was how well HMRC was doing to limit the tax gap to just £16bn. For some reason, the committee was reluctant to see her point of view.Fortunately Dame Disaster was on hand to help her out. What the committee should really be looking at was how well HMRC was doing to limit the tax gap to just £16bn. For some reason, the committee was reluctant to see her point of view.
“Can we stay on this topic?” asked the Conservative MP Nigel Mills.“Can we stay on this topic?” asked the Conservative MP Nigel Mills.
“What is this topic?” replied Dame Disaster. That’s what she gets the big bucks for.“What is this topic?” replied Dame Disaster. That’s what she gets the big bucks for.
Related: New Year honours 2016: the full listRelated: New Year honours 2016: the full list
Mills tried another tack. That extra £7.2bn the chancellor had assured everyone in his autumn statement would come flooding into the Treasury coffers by cracking down on tax fraud and the black economy: how certain was she of that money materialising.Mills tried another tack. That extra £7.2bn the chancellor had assured everyone in his autumn statement would come flooding into the Treasury coffers by cracking down on tax fraud and the black economy: how certain was she of that money materialising.
“Oh, that money!” replied Dame Disaster. “I’m not at all certain really.” Getting money out of tax cheats was very tricky and we were lucky to be getting as much as we were.“Oh, that money!” replied Dame Disaster. “I’m not at all certain really.” Getting money out of tax cheats was very tricky and we were lucky to be getting as much as we were.
Somewhere over in the Treasury, George Osborne let out a loud howl of anguish. He’d put her name forward for an honour and she’d repaid him by dumping him in the mire. Dame Disaster has promised not to embarrass the government by taking a compromising job in the private sector when she leaves. It will make a change from doing a job in which she embarrasses herself.Somewhere over in the Treasury, George Osborne let out a loud howl of anguish. He’d put her name forward for an honour and she’d repaid him by dumping him in the mire. Dame Disaster has promised not to embarrass the government by taking a compromising job in the private sector when she leaves. It will make a change from doing a job in which she embarrasses herself.