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‘I felt denied by my government’ says Briton whose husband died in Australia ‘I felt denied by my government’ says Briton whose husband died in Australia
(7 months later)
The English man whose husband died while on honeymoon in Adelaide has said he felt let down by his government in his fight for Australian authorities to recognise his marriage.The English man whose husband died while on honeymoon in Adelaide has said he felt let down by his government in his fight for Australian authorities to recognise his marriage.
Charity worker David Bulmer-Rizzi, 32, died after a fall while on honeymoon in Adelaide with his husband, Marco, 38. Though the couple had married in London last year, Bulmer-Rizzi was told David’s death certificate would state “never married” and he was not recognised as next of kin.Charity worker David Bulmer-Rizzi, 32, died after a fall while on honeymoon in Adelaide with his husband, Marco, 38. Though the couple had married in London last year, Bulmer-Rizzi was told David’s death certificate would state “never married” and he was not recognised as next of kin.
Related: Briton who died on honeymoon in Australia to have same-sex marriage recognised
Speaking from Adelaide on Thursday afternoon, the day before he flew back to Britain, Bulmer-Rizzi said he had received “incredible” support from Australian citizens since going public with his experience.Speaking from Adelaide on Thursday afternoon, the day before he flew back to Britain, Bulmer-Rizzi said he had received “incredible” support from Australian citizens since going public with his experience.
“I don’t know whether they all agree with same-sex marriage or not,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter – they’re just decent human beings.“I don’t know whether they all agree with same-sex marriage or not,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter – they’re just decent human beings.
“Really, every single person I’ve spoken with understands that it’s a painful moment and some pain could have been completely avoided. That’s just really beautiful. It shows the best of people.”“Really, every single person I’ve spoken with understands that it’s a painful moment and some pain could have been completely avoided. That’s just really beautiful. It shows the best of people.”
Same-sex marriages registered overseas are not recognised in South Australia – a legislative oversight that the state’s premier, Jay Weatherill, has given Bulmer-Rizzi his word will be amended in law.Same-sex marriages registered overseas are not recognised in South Australia – a legislative oversight that the state’s premier, Jay Weatherill, has given Bulmer-Rizzi his word will be amended in law.
Same-sex marriage is not legal in Australia.Same-sex marriage is not legal in Australia.
Bulmer-Rizzi had earlier appealed to the British prime minister, David Cameron, the British foreign office and three MPs for support. He said he felt his government had let him down by not offering support before it became a story in the media.Bulmer-Rizzi had earlier appealed to the British prime minister, David Cameron, the British foreign office and three MPs for support. He said he felt his government had let him down by not offering support before it became a story in the media.
“They know very well that there are countries where gay marriage is not recognised, countries where being gay means you could be killed and sentenced to death,” he said.“They know very well that there are countries where gay marriage is not recognised, countries where being gay means you could be killed and sentenced to death,” he said.
“I think they should be proactive. It doesn’t take much to have a policy ... where, if you are in a same-sex couple, you are guaranteed some consulate protection.“I think they should be proactive. It doesn’t take much to have a policy ... where, if you are in a same-sex couple, you are guaranteed some consulate protection.
“I think that is something that Britain has failed on, because [marriage equality] is legal where I live; the country I am a citizen of sanctions it.“I think that is something that Britain has failed on, because [marriage equality] is legal where I live; the country I am a citizen of sanctions it.
“I felt denied by my government ... It would have been nice if somebody had acknowledged what I was shouting about.”“I felt denied by my government ... It would have been nice if somebody had acknowledged what I was shouting about.”
Weatherill had called Bulmer-Rizzi on Wednesday night to apologise for the “awfully insensitive” way in which he had been treated and promised to pursue the possibility of reissuing David’s death certificate with the correct marital status.Weatherill had called Bulmer-Rizzi on Wednesday night to apologise for the “awfully insensitive” way in which he had been treated and promised to pursue the possibility of reissuing David’s death certificate with the correct marital status.
Weatherill had followed up with him three times since then, Bulmer-Rizzi said.Weatherill had followed up with him three times since then, Bulmer-Rizzi said.
“I’ve always been wary of politicians but I don’t doubt for one second [Weatherill] was being totally honest,” he said. “It was the first time I’ve ever really truly experienced an unreserved apology.“I’ve always been wary of politicians but I don’t doubt for one second [Weatherill] was being totally honest,” he said. “It was the first time I’ve ever really truly experienced an unreserved apology.
“He wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to know about other things that I maybe didn’t tell the press – not in a cynical way to cover himself but maybe to understand where really was the issue.“He wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to know about other things that I maybe didn’t tell the press – not in a cynical way to cover himself but maybe to understand where really was the issue.
“The apology really changed the way I was feeling.”“The apology really changed the way I was feeling.”
On Thursday afternoon, a spokesman for the high commission in Canberra said that “in this exceptional case” David’s death was able to be registered with the consulate, which would not equate to a UK death certificate but would recognise the Bulmer-Rizzis’ status as a married couple in the UK public record.On Thursday afternoon, a spokesman for the high commission in Canberra said that “in this exceptional case” David’s death was able to be registered with the consulate, which would not equate to a UK death certificate but would recognise the Bulmer-Rizzis’ status as a married couple in the UK public record.
When he spoke to Guardian Australia, Bulmer-Rizzi had not heard from the high commissioner, Menna Rawlings, nor “any big fish”, he said. He had spoken with the British consulate in Melbourne, who was “less apologetic than South Australia”.When he spoke to Guardian Australia, Bulmer-Rizzi had not heard from the high commissioner, Menna Rawlings, nor “any big fish”, he said. He had spoken with the British consulate in Melbourne, who was “less apologetic than South Australia”.
“I don’t understand why nobody called me yesterday and told me that someone was really looking into it,” he said. “I understand the commissioner made a public press statement ... but I approached them last week.”“I don’t understand why nobody called me yesterday and told me that someone was really looking into it,” he said. “I understand the commissioner made a public press statement ... but I approached them last week.”
When the consulate called him from Melbourne on Thursday morning, Bulmer-Rizzi said he “made [her] listen ... before she even spoke”.When the consulate called him from Melbourne on Thursday morning, Bulmer-Rizzi said he “made [her] listen ... before she even spoke”.
“I said, you’re my country,” he said.“I said, you’re my country,” he said.
But Bulmer-Rizzi said he did not want to “focus on the negative”.But Bulmer-Rizzi said he did not want to “focus on the negative”.
He hoped Australia would legalise same-sex marriage in future but felt that was for its citizens to decide.He hoped Australia would legalise same-sex marriage in future but felt that was for its citizens to decide.
“I’m happy to share how marrying David transformed my life,” he said. “That’s as loud a statement as I can make on gay marriage. I am married. I know the beauty that can come from it.“I’m happy to share how marrying David transformed my life,” he said. “That’s as loud a statement as I can make on gay marriage. I am married. I know the beauty that can come from it.
“I completely support it but I’m not going to tell Australians what to do. I think Australians already want it, so I don’t think I have to tell them.”“I completely support it but I’m not going to tell Australians what to do. I think Australians already want it, so I don’t think I have to tell them.”
He took comfort in that fact that, if another foreigner were to find themselves in the same situation, “they will not be told what I was told”.He took comfort in that fact that, if another foreigner were to find themselves in the same situation, “they will not be told what I was told”.
“That’s massive because it was not in vain.”“That’s massive because it was not in vain.”
Both the South Australian government and staff at the British high commission in Canberra and the UK are working to reach a practical solution but Bulmer-Rizzi said he has been warned that this could take some time.Both the South Australian government and staff at the British high commission in Canberra and the UK are working to reach a practical solution but Bulmer-Rizzi said he has been warned that this could take some time.
In the meantime, South Australia has issued David’s death certificate, which still states he had never been married.In the meantime, South Australia has issued David’s death certificate, which still states he had never been married.
Bulmer-Rizzi has accepted this. “I don’t want it to be delayed because my entire life is in the balance,” he said. “I have things that I need a death certifcate for. I’m happy that I’ve been told by the [British high commissioner] they have approval to issue me the certification.Bulmer-Rizzi has accepted this. “I don’t want it to be delayed because my entire life is in the balance,” he said. “I have things that I need a death certifcate for. I’m happy that I’ve been told by the [British high commissioner] they have approval to issue me the certification.
“I have David, I have his ashes, I have the permit. I can go home with him and I can focus on his memory and be with his family.”“I have David, I have his ashes, I have the permit. I can go home with him and I can focus on his memory and be with his family.”
Related: Same-sex marriage rights: how Australian states and territories compare
He will leave Australia on Friday morning with his father-in-law, Nigel Bulmer, David’s ashes and “bittersweet” memories of Australia.He will leave Australia on Friday morning with his father-in-law, Nigel Bulmer, David’s ashes and “bittersweet” memories of Australia.
“I will have the best memories from my marriage with David because we were very happy,” he said. “I had a lot of support. It will always be a little bit bittersweet.“I will have the best memories from my marriage with David because we were very happy,” he said. “I had a lot of support. It will always be a little bit bittersweet.
“I feel like I can move on. I’ve got David’s ashes and that was extraordinarily hard and very surreal, and now I need time to feel and grieve without all of this on top of it.”“I feel like I can move on. I’ve got David’s ashes and that was extraordinarily hard and very surreal, and now I need time to feel and grieve without all of this on top of it.”