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David Cameron exhibits his Odysseus complex in speech on prison reform David Cameron exhibits his Odysseus complex in speech on prison reform
(35 minutes later)
“Thank God we’ve got a Tory majority government free from Lib Dem bloodlust, released from the clutches of ‘Hang ’Em High’ Hughes,” said Dean Godson, director of the thinktank Policy Exchange, as he welcomed David Cameron to the room. His voice expressed more surprise than irony as the prime minister was to outline proposals for prison reform that were to the left of New Labour. Even at its most sane. “Thank God we’ve got a Tory-majority government free from Lib Dem bloodlust, released from the clutches of ‘Hang ’Em High’ Hughes,” said Dean Godson, director of the Policy Exchange thinktank, as he welcomed David Cameron to the room. His voice expressed more surprise than irony as the prime minister was to outline proposals for changes to the prison system that were to the left of New Labour. Even at its most sane.
Comparisons with Tony Blair were inevitable. Yet while Tone was to develop a messiah complex, Dave suffers from a rather less common psychological disorder; the Odysseus complex. At heart Dave is a simple soul who cares a bit, but not too much. He is OK with a vaguely liberal society where hoodies can be hugged, but only so long as he is left alone to Making a Murderer on TV. But like Odysseus, Dave is consistently blown off course and ends up coming home after a lengthy voyage to find Paul Hollywood flirting with his wife on Bake Off. Comparisons with Tony Blair were inevitable. Yet while Tone was to develop a messiah complex, Dave suffers from a rather less common psychological disorder: the Odysseus complex. At heart Dave is a simple soul who cares a bit, but not too much. He is OK with a vaguely liberal society where hoodies can be hugged, but only so long as he is left alone to Making a Murderer on TV. But like Odysseus, Dave is consistently blown off course and ends up coming home after a lengthy voyage to find Paul Hollywood flirting with his wife on Bake Off.
Related: Prisoners may be freed for day jobs in justice shakeup, says PMRelated: Prisoners may be freed for day jobs in justice shakeup, says PM
Ten years ago, Dave made an almost identical speech about building new prisons and rehabilitating offenders. And he meant it; he really did. Then stuff started to happen so the prisons never got built and offenders never got rehabilitated. In fact the stuff that happened was so big – the economy, the EU, Sunday trading laws – that the prisons became more overcrowded and the Ministry of Justice’s budget was cut by 25%. Ten years ago, Dave made an almost identical speech about building new prisons and rehabilitating offenders. And he meant it, he really did. Then stuff started to happen so the prisons never got built and offenders never got rehabilitated. In fact, the stuff that happened was so big – the economy, the EU, Sunday trading laws – that the prisons became more overcrowded and the Ministry of Justice’s budget was cut by 25%.
But none of that meant Dave wasn’t still dreaming of a day when he could put his feet up while a bloke from G4S – preferably on day release from prison himself – could keep an eye on all the other offenders on day release with satellite tracking technology; all it meant was that there was a gale blowing in the wrong direction.But none of that meant Dave wasn’t still dreaming of a day when he could put his feet up while a bloke from G4S – preferably on day release from prison himself – could keep an eye on all the other offenders on day release with satellite tracking technology; all it meant was that there was a gale blowing in the wrong direction.
On Monday the air fell eerily still and Dave once again found time to place prison reform at the top of his daily agenda. Dave didn’t just want to bang cons up and throw away the key – “Not that I’m not tough on crime,” said serious face Dave, momentarily concerned there might be a Tory rightwinger in the room – nor did he want to restrict their number of jigsaws.On Monday the air fell eerily still and Dave once again found time to place prison reform at the top of his daily agenda. Dave didn’t just want to bang cons up and throw away the key – “Not that I’m not tough on crime,” said serious face Dave, momentarily concerned there might be a Tory rightwinger in the room – nor did he want to restrict their number of jigsaws.
Dave’s eyes began to well with tears. “Prisons should be places of aspiration,” he continued. Dave made this sound as if getting put away should be seen as a positive career choice for those criminals whose life chances had been minimal. Go to prison, see the world a bit later. To reinforce the point, Dave wanted there to be a league table of best-performing prisons; across the country prison governors tried to work out how to engineer the system to select the most promising crims. Dave’s eyes began to well with tears. “Prisons should be places of aspiration,” he continued. He made this sound as if getting put away should be seen as a positive career choice for those criminals whose life chances had been minimal. Go to prison, see the world a bit later. To reinforce the point, Dave wanted there to be a league table of best-performing prisons; across the country prison governors tried to work out how to engineer the system to select the most promising crims.
“We’re taking diamonds in the rough and making them shine,” Dave insisted. This last remark was aimed as much at his justice minister, Michael Gove, who was sitting on the naughty step of the front row as any hopeful Pablo Escobar. The Eurosceptics see Gove as a potential leader for the leave campaign, and by showing his support for one of his minister’s pet projects, Dave was making it a lot harder for Gove to do the dirty on him over Europe. “We’re taking diamonds in the rough and making them shine,” Dave insisted. This last remark was aimed as much at the justice secretary, Michael Gove, who was sitting on the naughty step of the front row as any hopeful Pablo Escobar. The Eurosceptics see Gove as a potential leader for the leave campaign, and by showing his support for one of his minister’s pet projects, Dave was making it a lot harder for Gove to do the dirty on him over Europe.
On and on, Dave went. Dave might believe in a more liberal criminal justice system, but he doesn’t believe in time off for good behaviour. As Dave reached the final stretch, everyone began to peel off the red tags that had been issued on their arrival. Gove started to unpick his. “You can leave yours on for now,” said Dave. Some people take longer to rehabilitate. On and on, Dave went. The prime minister might believe in a more liberal criminal justice system, but he doesn’t believe in time off for good behaviour. As Dave reached the final stretch, everyone began to peel off the red tags that had been issued on their arrival. Gove started to unpick his. “You can leave yours on for now,” said Dave. Some people take longer to rehabilitate.