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Domestic violence services shouldn’t have to rely on The Archers’ fans for funds Domestic violence services shouldn’t have to rely on The Archers’ fans for funds
(7 months later)
Over the past week, something amazing has happened: more than £45,000 has been raised for our charity Refuge, thanks to a JustGiving page set up in aid of a fictional character from The Archers, Helen Titchener.Over the past week, something amazing has happened: more than £45,000 has been raised for our charity Refuge, thanks to a JustGiving page set up in aid of a fictional character from The Archers, Helen Titchener.
For those who haven’t followed her story, Helen is suffering domestic abuse at the hands of her husband, Rob. Fans have listened in horror as Rob’s abuse unfolds, with each episode more chilling than the last. Rob dictates where Helen goes, what she wears and to whom she speaks; he has isolated her from family and friends.For those who haven’t followed her story, Helen is suffering domestic abuse at the hands of her husband, Rob. Fans have listened in horror as Rob’s abuse unfolds, with each episode more chilling than the last. Rob dictates where Helen goes, what she wears and to whom she speaks; he has isolated her from family and friends.
Related: Archers character JustGiving page raises thousands for domestic violence charity
Like so many abusers, Rob dresses up his extreme jealousy and possessiveness as concern, reinforced by his constant refrain that “darling” Helen is too silly and fragile to look after herself and her unborn child. To an outsider, Rob may appear the perfect, caring husband. Indeed, he has made those close to Helen unwittingly complicit in his emotional abuse. Her mother and her son both echo his language: “You lied to me and daddy,” says Henry, “I hate you.” “Talk some sense into her, Rob,” says Pat Archer.Like so many abusers, Rob dresses up his extreme jealousy and possessiveness as concern, reinforced by his constant refrain that “darling” Helen is too silly and fragile to look after herself and her unborn child. To an outsider, Rob may appear the perfect, caring husband. Indeed, he has made those close to Helen unwittingly complicit in his emotional abuse. Her mother and her son both echo his language: “You lied to me and daddy,” says Henry, “I hate you.” “Talk some sense into her, Rob,” says Pat Archer.
Those who are abused deserve the understanding that domestic violence is not all black eyes and broken bones; that the undermining of someone’s personality, the altering of her reality, is just as damaging; that staying with an abusive partner takes as much courage as leaving; that minimising the perpetrator’s behaviour is a coping mechanism, not complicity; that domestic violence is not about a man losing control but about him taking control. Rob has not “seen red”. He has slowly, insidiously, eroded Helen’s independence and self-esteem, like water dripping on a stone. Domestic abuse is always a choice the perpetrator makes. It is systematic, patterned behaviour on the part of the abuser designed to control their partner. It charms, it creeps, it controls.Those who are abused deserve the understanding that domestic violence is not all black eyes and broken bones; that the undermining of someone’s personality, the altering of her reality, is just as damaging; that staying with an abusive partner takes as much courage as leaving; that minimising the perpetrator’s behaviour is a coping mechanism, not complicity; that domestic violence is not about a man losing control but about him taking control. Rob has not “seen red”. He has slowly, insidiously, eroded Helen’s independence and self-esteem, like water dripping on a stone. Domestic abuse is always a choice the perpetrator makes. It is systematic, patterned behaviour on the part of the abuser designed to control their partner. It charms, it creeps, it controls.
Showcasing this dynamic is why I am grateful to The Archers, even above the much-needed funds the programme has helped to raise. In their skilful crafting of Rob’s character, the show’s writers have brought the reality of domestic violence into our living rooms and kitchens. Reading the comments on the JustGiving page and social media has been heartening. Thousands of people have donated because they have been in a similar situation to Helen, or they know someone who has. Anything that increases awareness of Refuge’s work while raising much-needed funds is wonderful – and vital.Showcasing this dynamic is why I am grateful to The Archers, even above the much-needed funds the programme has helped to raise. In their skilful crafting of Rob’s character, the show’s writers have brought the reality of domestic violence into our living rooms and kitchens. Reading the comments on the JustGiving page and social media has been heartening. Thousands of people have donated because they have been in a similar situation to Helen, or they know someone who has. Anything that increases awareness of Refuge’s work while raising much-needed funds is wonderful – and vital.
Make no mistake: Refuge is struggling to maintain its lifesaving work. Since 2011, we have had cuts to 80% of our services. Limits imposed by some commissioners on how long women can stay in our refuges mean we have weeks, not months, to rebuild lives. If the government does not exempt refuges from its plans to limit housing benefit for social housing tenants, all of our emergency accommodation may be forced to close. Finding a refuge space is like finding gold dust and women we cannot house are faced with a stark choice: flee to the streets or stay with a violent partner, risking further abuse and even death.Make no mistake: Refuge is struggling to maintain its lifesaving work. Since 2011, we have had cuts to 80% of our services. Limits imposed by some commissioners on how long women can stay in our refuges mean we have weeks, not months, to rebuild lives. If the government does not exempt refuges from its plans to limit housing benefit for social housing tenants, all of our emergency accommodation may be forced to close. Finding a refuge space is like finding gold dust and women we cannot house are faced with a stark choice: flee to the streets or stay with a violent partner, risking further abuse and even death.
As Paul Trueman, the Refuge supporter who began this phenomenal campaign, tweeted: “It’s the 21st century. We shouldn’t even need @RefugeCharity.” He is right, of course. Two women are killed by a current or former partner every week in England and Wales, so why is the safety of domestic violence victims dependent on the kindness of strangers? More than 3,000 people have donated to Trueman’s fund and I am grateful to each and every one. But it is not individuals who should be digging deep to save women and children from brutal deaths – it is the government.As Paul Trueman, the Refuge supporter who began this phenomenal campaign, tweeted: “It’s the 21st century. We shouldn’t even need @RefugeCharity.” He is right, of course. Two women are killed by a current or former partner every week in England and Wales, so why is the safety of domestic violence victims dependent on the kindness of strangers? More than 3,000 people have donated to Trueman’s fund and I am grateful to each and every one. But it is not individuals who should be digging deep to save women and children from brutal deaths – it is the government.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all those who have donated to Refuge – but you shouldn’t have to. Domestic violence is not an individual problem. It is a major social problem and it needs – it deserves – centralised, ringfenced funding.Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all those who have donated to Refuge – but you shouldn’t have to. Domestic violence is not an individual problem. It is a major social problem and it needs – it deserves – centralised, ringfenced funding.
• If you think you might be experiencing domestic violence, you are not alone. Please visit refuge.org.uk for information and support• If you think you might be experiencing domestic violence, you are not alone. Please visit refuge.org.uk for information and support