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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| Giant Shanghai slide sparks fear and satire on Chinese internet | Giant Shanghai slide sparks fear and satire on Chinese internet |
| (about 20 hours later) | |
| A giant five-storey slide recently unveiled in a Shanghai shopping centre has sparked fear and awe on Weibo, the Chinese microblogging site. | A giant five-storey slide recently unveiled in a Shanghai shopping centre has sparked fear and awe on Weibo, the Chinese microblogging site. |
| The slide will open in the Printemps mall in the coming weeks, say reports. | The slide will open in the Printemps mall in the coming weeks, say reports. |
| Pictures posted by Weibo user Jinrouxiongguimiaoxingren last week have spread online in recent days. | Pictures posted by Weibo user Jinrouxiongguimiaoxingren last week have spread online in recent days. |
| But while many are keen to enjoy the 16-second ride, others are concerned about safety, sabotage, or potentially smelly encounters. | But while many are keen to enjoy the 16-second ride, others are concerned about safety, sabotage, or potentially smelly encounters. |
| The management of the mall told local news outlets that the 20m (66ft) slide had been tested and was safe, and that only one person would be allowed on at a time. | The management of the mall told local news outlets that the 20m (66ft) slide had been tested and was safe, and that only one person would be allowed on at a time. |
| But this has not stopped thousands of comments on Weibo, though it was unclear in some cases whether these were real worries or satirical takes on China's spotty safety record. | But this has not stopped thousands of comments on Weibo, though it was unclear in some cases whether these were real worries or satirical takes on China's spotty safety record. |
| Rear safety | Rear safety |
| One of the top concerns was whether riders' bottoms would be safe. | One of the top concerns was whether riders' bottoms would be safe. |
| "You'll feel like your bottom is on fire," said Shengkongwanqikajizhongduzhong, while Xiarichuzhan had more practical concerns: "Once you're done sliding down such a long slide wouldn't your trousers be worn out and torn?" | |
| Others had darker thoughts. | Others had darker thoughts. |
| "What if someone stuck knives inside... What would happen then?" asked an alarmed Wenzhoukangningjingshenbingyuan. | "What if someone stuck knives inside... What would happen then?" asked an alarmed Wenzhoukangningjingshenbingyuan. |
| "What I'm most afraid of is that there would be [open] seams at the entrance and exit, once your bottom slides across... [it'd be like] a large piece of meat dripping with blood," said user Bunenglianjiedaonisuoqingqiudewangye. | "What I'm most afraid of is that there would be [open] seams at the entrance and exit, once your bottom slides across... [it'd be like] a large piece of meat dripping with blood," said user Bunenglianjiedaonisuoqingqiudewangye. |
| "If a screw accidentally came loose, resulting in a small section falling out..." warned -Elvis-Presley. | "If a screw accidentally came loose, resulting in a small section falling out..." warned -Elvis-Presley. |
| Some worried about their exit strategy. | Some worried about their exit strategy. |
| "How will you be able to slow down near the end? Will you shoot out and fall to your death?" asked Fanyanlei. | |
| Stuck in the middle with you | Stuck in the middle with you |
| Some also raised the possibility of getting trapped in the slide. | Some also raised the possibility of getting trapped in the slide. |
| "What if there's a jam in there, what would you do... you can't breathe," said Yingtaoguozi. | "What if there's a jam in there, what would you do... you can't breathe," said Yingtaoguozi. |
| "If someone gets stuck in the middle... would the person behind him sweep him along and fly out with him?" said Guaizhazhazha. | |
| Others could not decide what was worse - dying in the slide, or stumbling upon someone who met such a fate. | Others could not decide what was worse - dying in the slide, or stumbling upon someone who met such a fate. |
| "What if someone dies in there... and the next person on the slide discovers him? Oh my god," fretted Ranbbb. | "What if someone dies in there... and the next person on the slide discovers him? Oh my god," fretted Ranbbb. |
| Wuwewuwe gave this suggestion: "This sort of tube should be completely transparent, then it would be easy to know if anything happens." | Wuwewuwe gave this suggestion: "This sort of tube should be completely transparent, then it would be easy to know if anything happens." |
| Deadly farts | Deadly farts |
| Another major preoccupation was the prospect of enduring five storeys of flatulence. | Another major preoccupation was the prospect of enduring five storeys of flatulence. |
| Fengfengaichidou raised the spectre of "the person in front farting, causing those behind him to faint." | Fengfengaichidou raised the spectre of "the person in front farting, causing those behind him to faint." |
| But there could be worse scenarios, pointed out Jianxiaoxiaoxiaosuaner: "What if someone pooped on the slide, what would happen to the people behind him?" | But there could be worse scenarios, pointed out Jianxiaoxiaoxiaosuaner: "What if someone pooped on the slide, what would happen to the people behind him?" |
| The fevered speculation was inevitably a turn-off for some. | The fevered speculation was inevitably a turn-off for some. |
| "At first I thought it would really be fun, but after reading the comments..." said Honficius, who ended his or her comment with a scared-looking emoji. | "At first I thought it would really be fun, but after reading the comments..." said Honficius, who ended his or her comment with a scared-looking emoji. |