Oh, for the good old days, which ended anywhere from 1960 to yesterday
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Version 0 of 1. When, exactly, did things start going downhill? That was the question I pondered in my Monday column. In response, more than one reader chimed in with “When Bill Gold retired.” Bill was the guy who started this column, in 1947. Ha ha. But seriously, folks — or, rather, not so seriously — when did things start going downhill? Some readers were incredibly specific. [Remember when Corn Pops were called Sugar Pops? The good old days.] Linda Brandwin of Woodbridge, Va., said the date was Sept. 24, 1960. “It was ‘Howdy Doody’s’ final episode and Clarabell talked for the first time since 1947,” Linda wrote. But Hossein Ildari of Chantilly, Va., said things actually started to slide on Oct. 24, 1978, “when Jimmy Carter signed the Airline Deregulation Act, thereby ruining pleasant air travel, civility, service and reasonably good food while you flew.” On a related note, the District’s Fred Siegel pegs the nation’s slide to the loss of complimentary airplane meals, which “forced passengers to bring on huge, honkin’ Chipotle burritos to supplement the 16 honey roasted peanuts we now get as a so-called ‘snack.’ ” Radford Schantz of Herndon, Va., believes things took a turn “when people stopped using breadboxes in their kitchens. Without a breadbox, a kitchen is merely a technical workshop, with no heart.” And without a breadbox, no one can judge the size of anything. Norm Philion of Falls Church, Va., said the decline of American civilization began when Johnson & Johnson removed the tiny red thread from Band Aid wrappers. Wrote Norm: “A little pull on the red thread would open the package cleanly, making removal of the Band Aid a simple process. Have you tried recently to open a bandage wrapper with one hand swathed in a paper towel to stanch the bleeding caused by mistaking your index finger for part of the onion you are dicing? It is impossible to do it easily or cleanly, unless you have three hands. You could well bleed to death before the bandage is available to do its work.” Ron Kalimon of Silver Spring, Md., wrote: “It started going downhill when they took the cord off the phone. Now the world is full of zombies walking around staring at their ‘portable’ phones.” James Forsberg’s opinion of when things started going downhill: “When teachers started dressing like the kids.” James might enjoy a conversation with Barbara Press of Washington, who remembers an opening night at the National Symphony Orchestra about 35 years ago. Most of the audience was in formal attire. “I looked around to see the glitter and sparkle and noticed for the first time, denim jeans on some concertgoers,” Barbara wrote. “I turned to my husband and said, ‘This is the beginning of the end.’ And I’ve been watching the social fabric unravel ever since.” Tom Martella’s theory involves a rather more intimate article of clothing. Things started to slide when the jockstrap was replaced by unisex compression shorts, thus eliminating the clear definition of guy sports and the associated path for guys to maturity via athletics. “We still use the term ‘jock,’ but its origin and perhaps, true meaning, are lost,” wrote Tom, of Washington. “Now, they did pinch on occasion, but that was part of the charm — a common complaint that all guys could agree on. Maybe the reintroduction would help bring politicians from both sides of the aisle together.” Which candidate is brave enough to board the Jockstrap Bandwagon? Bob Perrino of Arlington, Va., said things started to go downhill when string theory was discovered. “I had a somewhat tenuous grasp of science until scientists’ heads exploded with a bunch of new stuff,” Bob wrote. “I can now read an entire page of The Washington Post science section devoted to explaining a new discovery, get to the very end and ask myself, ‘What the hell did I just read?’ ” Anne S. Kanter of McLean, Va., said things started going downhill when U.S. Census data became digitized. “Clever programmers were then able to construct political precincts and congressional districts that were so skewed to one party that only wingnuts could win,” she wrote. Ann Simon of Oakton, Va., blames Americans’ rising obsession with plumbing. “We now have a million bathrooms in a house, and nobody learns to share anymore,” she wrote. James Ratzenberger of Vienna, Va., wrote, “The decline of civilization can positively be dated from 1971, when McDonald’s began its ‘You deserve a break today’ advertisements, which issued in the age of entitlement that we are all suffering through.” Rick Wilson believes things started to go to hell in a handbasket in 1949, on the day he was born. “At least,” he wrote, “that was what my mother always told me: ‘Ricky, things changed around here when you were born!’ Thanks, Mom.” Finally, Carol Edwards of Leisure World in Silver Spring, wrote: “Maybe things start to go downhill when all we can think of is the ‘good old days.’ ” Nah. That can’t be it. Twitter: @johnkelly For previous columns, visit washingtonpost.com/johnkelly. |