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| Version 3 | Version 4 |
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| Mrs Cameron’s Diary: I’m, like, David Hare – does he model M&S undies? Mrs Cameron’s Diary: I’m, like, David Hare – does he model M&S undies? | |
| (about 9 hours later) | |
| Well Dave is like quick word babes – I’m like, no I have not finished the models’ round-robin, you would be surprised how they value sovereignty, Alexa in particular challenges your use of the word illusion, and yes, Nancy got rid of Longworth, a LOT of squealing she says, who do you want doing next? | Well Dave is like quick word babes – I’m like, no I have not finished the models’ round-robin, you would be surprised how they value sovereignty, Alexa in particular challenges your use of the word illusion, and yes, Nancy got rid of Longworth, a LOT of squealing she says, who do you want doing next? |
| Dave’s like, maybe there IS someone, but listen, who even IS David Hare? I’m like, I literally have no clue - oh wait, did he just debut a limited edition underwear range at M&S, people said it was a little you know, Grimsby - Dave’s IDK but THIS David Hare *throws copy of Guardian across room* is literally toasterama. I’m like, wow, calm it, you are going red, he’s like, he says I am a modern snob who would rather be cool than compassionate & he puts it all in PLAYS literally at OUR SUBSIDISED NATIONAL THEATRE - I’m like, did I not tell you to stop Googling your name? He’s like, it was on the cabinet table with the insults highlighted in yellow, wait – my PMQs notes – God you don’t think … ? I’m like, no shit Sherlock, so Govey hates you but is too mean to buy a new highlighter, what is new, look, get Vaizey to sack the Hare person, job done. Dave’s like, you know Vaizey is too lazy, I’m like, so ask Nancy when she’s sorted the Queen, appaz Madam is •quite• batey, Dave’s like, no problemo, Ocado me some Werther’s Originals for next week, I’ll ask about life in the trenches, have her purring in no time, but Goveywise, lines of communication still open? | Dave’s like, maybe there IS someone, but listen, who even IS David Hare? I’m like, I literally have no clue - oh wait, did he just debut a limited edition underwear range at M&S, people said it was a little you know, Grimsby - Dave’s IDK but THIS David Hare *throws copy of Guardian across room* is literally toasterama. I’m like, wow, calm it, you are going red, he’s like, he says I am a modern snob who would rather be cool than compassionate & he puts it all in PLAYS literally at OUR SUBSIDISED NATIONAL THEATRE - I’m like, did I not tell you to stop Googling your name? He’s like, it was on the cabinet table with the insults highlighted in yellow, wait – my PMQs notes – God you don’t think … ? I’m like, no shit Sherlock, so Govey hates you but is too mean to buy a new highlighter, what is new, look, get Vaizey to sack the Hare person, job done. Dave’s like, you know Vaizey is too lazy, I’m like, so ask Nancy when she’s sorted the Queen, appaz Madam is •quite• batey, Dave’s like, no problemo, Ocado me some Werther’s Originals for next week, I’ll ask about life in the trenches, have her purring in no time, but Goveywise, lines of communication still open? |
| I’m like *opens latest text* you could say that *puts on Daily Mail voice* – “Hey Sam, missed u & Dave at the Murdoch bash, Jerry is SO precious you would LOVE, Evgeny says what a shame u & Murdochs did not stay friends #weddingofthecentury #A-list #freefood :) Look Sam this is me in my bespoke gold coat, Marina thinks it is way better than overpriced designer tat #justsaying, the models were well jel!!!! Ps Sam tell Dave Michael did not do the queen thing lol or leave out that lefty’s article God who would write a mean thing like that Sam, luv u lots, your bff Sarah xxxxxx”. | I’m like *opens latest text* you could say that *puts on Daily Mail voice* – “Hey Sam, missed u & Dave at the Murdoch bash, Jerry is SO precious you would LOVE, Evgeny says what a shame u & Murdochs did not stay friends #weddingofthecentury #A-list #freefood :) Look Sam this is me in my bespoke gold coat, Marina thinks it is way better than overpriced designer tat #justsaying, the models were well jel!!!! Ps Sam tell Dave Michael did not do the queen thing lol or leave out that lefty’s article God who would write a mean thing like that Sam, luv u lots, your bff Sarah xxxxxx”. |
| :))) | :))) |