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A cure for my back pain? They’ll invent the head transplant first A cure for my back pain? They’ll invent the head transplant first
(6 months later)
After I had my kids and turned 40, last year, I thought I was done for rites of passage for a while. Then this week, out of the blue, came another. Those who’ve been through it will understand, and those who haven’t will think I’m exaggerating, but either way, when I got up from tidying the living room floor on Sunday night, my back went into spasm and the world divided into before and after.After I had my kids and turned 40, last year, I thought I was done for rites of passage for a while. Then this week, out of the blue, came another. Those who’ve been through it will understand, and those who haven’t will think I’m exaggerating, but either way, when I got up from tidying the living room floor on Sunday night, my back went into spasm and the world divided into before and after.
Related: Everything you ever wanted to know about back pain (but were afraid to ask)
How do people with back pain talk about anything else? How can something so ordinary be so agonising? I dodged the pain of childbirth by having a scheduled C-section (not by choice, before anyone starts howling), but when I checked in at the delivery ward prior to surgery, there was a woman in late-stage labour around on the floor making noises like an animal. That’s what it was like on Sunday night, but without the team of doctors running to assist me.How do people with back pain talk about anything else? How can something so ordinary be so agonising? I dodged the pain of childbirth by having a scheduled C-section (not by choice, before anyone starts howling), but when I checked in at the delivery ward prior to surgery, there was a woman in late-stage labour around on the floor making noises like an animal. That’s what it was like on Sunday night, but without the team of doctors running to assist me.
As I soon learned – and this seems wildly improbable in a world in which surgeons are only a few years away from performing a head transplant – there’s not a whole lot you can do about back spasms, save for painkillers, rest, and palming your kids off on someone else for a while.As I soon learned – and this seems wildly improbable in a world in which surgeons are only a few years away from performing a head transplant – there’s not a whole lot you can do about back spasms, save for painkillers, rest, and palming your kids off on someone else for a while.
It turned out that I had half a bottle of opiates left over from the C-section, which didn’t do much for the pain but made my mood slightly jollier. I could barely move until the following morning and even now, days later, it is all I am thinking, talking and writing about.It turned out that I had half a bottle of opiates left over from the C-section, which didn’t do much for the pain but made my mood slightly jollier. I could barely move until the following morning and even now, days later, it is all I am thinking, talking and writing about.
It is also something that half the people I’ve mentioned it to have jumped on with their own stories. It’s like getting a dog and suddenly being welcomed into the world of dog people. Like it or not, I am now part of a subculture. At least solidarity lessens the pain.It is also something that half the people I’ve mentioned it to have jumped on with their own stories. It’s like getting a dog and suddenly being welcomed into the world of dog people. Like it or not, I am now part of a subculture. At least solidarity lessens the pain.