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The birth of my daughter gave me an incentive to beat my aggression The birth of my daughter gave me an incentive to beat my aggression
(6 months later)
I joined the armed forces when I was 19 years old. I had moved to the UK after a difficult childhood in Jamaica, and I wanted to do something different to everyone else. None of my friends were doing anything like active service, so it seemed like a good option for me. During my time in the army, I served with the Royal Logistics Corps and was based at Colchester for three years, and RAF Odiham for two. I also spent time in Afghanistan.I joined the armed forces when I was 19 years old. I had moved to the UK after a difficult childhood in Jamaica, and I wanted to do something different to everyone else. None of my friends were doing anything like active service, so it seemed like a good option for me. During my time in the army, I served with the Royal Logistics Corps and was based at Colchester for three years, and RAF Odiham for two. I also spent time in Afghanistan.
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For the most part, my time in the army was enjoyable. I felt like I was part of a family and have happy memories of my time on tour with my comrades. But I did see things that left me traumatised. As a result, I developed a very short temper and found that I didn’t have patience for anything. I left the forces because I was sick of the lifestyle and because my temper was becoming a problem. There isn’t any room in the army for that kind of attitude.For the most part, my time in the army was enjoyable. I felt like I was part of a family and have happy memories of my time on tour with my comrades. But I did see things that left me traumatised. As a result, I developed a very short temper and found that I didn’t have patience for anything. I left the forces because I was sick of the lifestyle and because my temper was becoming a problem. There isn’t any room in the army for that kind of attitude.
When I first got back home, everything was fine. I had a solid support network consisting of family, friends and my girlfriend. I felt that I had people to turn to if I needed them. I didn’t struggle to find work, but it was never a solid, stable income.When I first got back home, everything was fine. I had a solid support network consisting of family, friends and my girlfriend. I felt that I had people to turn to if I needed them. I didn’t struggle to find work, but it was never a solid, stable income.
I soon began to experience mental health issues, which I later found out were a result of my experiences in Afghanistan. Without any treatment, I turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism and started drinking heavily. I still had a short temper, and was having extreme mood swings that made me behave aggressively. This all contributed to the breakdown of my relationship with my girlfriend, who had just given birth to our daughter. I moved out of her home and was sleeping on my uncle’s sofa. I had to keep relying on the support of friends and family; I couldn’t sort anything stable out for myself.I soon began to experience mental health issues, which I later found out were a result of my experiences in Afghanistan. Without any treatment, I turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism and started drinking heavily. I still had a short temper, and was having extreme mood swings that made me behave aggressively. This all contributed to the breakdown of my relationship with my girlfriend, who had just given birth to our daughter. I moved out of her home and was sleeping on my uncle’s sofa. I had to keep relying on the support of friends and family; I couldn’t sort anything stable out for myself.
Shortly after my daughter was born, I realised I needed to change. My dad wasn’t around when I was growing up, and I didn’t want my daughter to have the same experience. I wanted to be there for her and provide for her so that she would have a solid father figure. My daughter was the first reason I had to have stability in my life for a long time. I wanted to get better for her.Shortly after my daughter was born, I realised I needed to change. My dad wasn’t around when I was growing up, and I didn’t want my daughter to have the same experience. I wanted to be there for her and provide for her so that she would have a solid father figure. My daughter was the first reason I had to have stability in my life for a long time. I wanted to get better for her.
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I kept hold of my determination to change my life, and made a conscious effort to reduce my drinking, so that I could keep seeing my daughter even if I wasn’t living with her. But at the same time I was finding it extremely difficult to find a steady place to live. I needed a safe place where my daughter could come to stay, but the short-term contracts I was working didn’t provide enough money to rent privately.I kept hold of my determination to change my life, and made a conscious effort to reduce my drinking, so that I could keep seeing my daughter even if I wasn’t living with her. But at the same time I was finding it extremely difficult to find a steady place to live. I needed a safe place where my daughter could come to stay, but the short-term contracts I was working didn’t provide enough money to rent privately.
At work one day, I saw a banner promoting the services of a charity called Stoll. The advert said they provided housing support for vulnerable ex-servicemen and women, running a number of programmes to help veterans find stable accommodation, and supporting them as they rebuilt their lives. I immediately got in touch with them and they came through for me.At work one day, I saw a banner promoting the services of a charity called Stoll. The advert said they provided housing support for vulnerable ex-servicemen and women, running a number of programmes to help veterans find stable accommodation, and supporting them as they rebuilt their lives. I immediately got in touch with them and they came through for me.
A support worker got in touch, and helped me to apply for accommodation through a number of supported social housing schemes. I was also referred to the veterans’ assessment clinic so that I could seek treatment for my alcohol problems. I was offered a one-bedroom property through Stoll’s Veterans’ Nomination Scheme, so that I could finally afford to rent a place for myself. The staff were so helpful throughout the whole process, and they worked with other charities to raise money to help furnish my flat. The best part is that my new home is just five minutes’ away from my daughter’s nursery, and I have her to stay with me a few days a week.A support worker got in touch, and helped me to apply for accommodation through a number of supported social housing schemes. I was also referred to the veterans’ assessment clinic so that I could seek treatment for my alcohol problems. I was offered a one-bedroom property through Stoll’s Veterans’ Nomination Scheme, so that I could finally afford to rent a place for myself. The staff were so helpful throughout the whole process, and they worked with other charities to raise money to help furnish my flat. The best part is that my new home is just five minutes’ away from my daughter’s nursery, and I have her to stay with me a few days a week.
The help that I was given has allowed me the sense of security and stability that I was lacking after the army. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. Now, I can finish a day at work without worrying about where to stay that night – I can finally say I’m going home.The help that I was given has allowed me the sense of security and stability that I was lacking after the army. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. Now, I can finish a day at work without worrying about where to stay that night – I can finally say I’m going home.