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| Dave the Brave squirms over offshore tax havens … at PwC of all places | Dave the Brave squirms over offshore tax havens … at PwC of all places |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| Piss up. Brewery. There may be worse places to hold your first public engagement since the Panama Papers were published on Monday, but none come to mind. Only last year, the public accounts committee reported that the accountancy firm PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) was promoting tax avoidance on an industrial scale. To make things worse, it was first in the frame to benefit from administering the windup of Tata’s steel operations in the UK. So where was David Cameron? At PwC’s offices in Birmingham. Some might call it a brave choice. Others foolhardy. | |
| Dave the Brave wanted to talk about the benefits of remaining in the EU, but there was really no need. PwC has already commissioned their own report into Britain’s future and worked out we would be £100bn and 900,000 jobs worse off if we were to leave, so Dave was really pushing at an open door. He knew it, too, as his performance was no more than workmanlike. “Safer, stronger. Seventy years ago we were all killing each other and will be again if we leave the EU.” All the familiar tropes tripped off his tongue, but there was a disconnect between his voice and eyes. The holiday in Lanzarote hasn’t done him much good. He looks worse now than before he left. | Dave the Brave wanted to talk about the benefits of remaining in the EU, but there was really no need. PwC has already commissioned their own report into Britain’s future and worked out we would be £100bn and 900,000 jobs worse off if we were to leave, so Dave was really pushing at an open door. He knew it, too, as his performance was no more than workmanlike. “Safer, stronger. Seventy years ago we were all killing each other and will be again if we leave the EU.” All the familiar tropes tripped off his tongue, but there was a disconnect between his voice and eyes. The holiday in Lanzarote hasn’t done him much good. He looks worse now than before he left. |
| “Let’s take some questions from the audience,” Dave said, as his well-worn patter fizzled out. Some obliging PwC types duly lined up a few gimmies, but he couldn’t really capitalise. He knew that sooner or later he was going to have to take the inevitable hit, and delaying was only making him twitchier. Time for Dave the Brave to be Dave the Braver. “A question from the press,” he spat. “Faisal Islam, Sky News.” Islam duly plunged in. Could the prime minister confirm if he or his family had ever benefited from his father’s Panama holdings or would benefit from them at some time in the future? | “Let’s take some questions from the audience,” Dave said, as his well-worn patter fizzled out. Some obliging PwC types duly lined up a few gimmies, but he couldn’t really capitalise. He knew that sooner or later he was going to have to take the inevitable hit, and delaying was only making him twitchier. Time for Dave the Brave to be Dave the Braver. “A question from the press,” he spat. “Faisal Islam, Sky News.” Islam duly plunged in. Could the prime minister confirm if he or his family had ever benefited from his father’s Panama holdings or would benefit from them at some time in the future? |
| There was a sharp intake of breath from some members of the PwC audience. It is distinctly bad form to ask a chap about his prudent tax planning. Others just looked a little confused. Surely the whole point of having an offshore company was to pay bugger all tax, so if Mossack Fonseca had failed to achieve this then it had badly let its client down. Perhaps there was even a chance of PwC grabbing the Blairmore business. Dave merely chose to take it on the chin. | There was a sharp intake of breath from some members of the PwC audience. It is distinctly bad form to ask a chap about his prudent tax planning. Others just looked a little confused. Surely the whole point of having an offshore company was to pay bugger all tax, so if Mossack Fonseca had failed to achieve this then it had badly let its client down. Perhaps there was even a chance of PwC grabbing the Blairmore business. Dave merely chose to take it on the chin. |
| Related: What David Cameron did and didn't say about his father's offshore trust | |
| “No government has done more to clamp down on tax evasion than this one,” he declared, his lip quivering slightly. Certainly no government has done more to talk about clamping down on tax evasion. The evidence that they have actually achieved anything is not yet available. “As for my own personal position, let me make myself clear,” he continued, his brow furrowing as he tried to recall the exact choice of words his advisers had spent most of the morning coaching him to use. | “No government has done more to clamp down on tax evasion than this one,” he declared, his lip quivering slightly. Certainly no government has done more to talk about clamping down on tax evasion. The evidence that they have actually achieved anything is not yet available. “As for my own personal position, let me make myself clear,” he continued, his brow furrowing as he tried to recall the exact choice of words his advisers had spent most of the morning coaching him to use. |
| “I own no shares. I have some savings. I have a home that I rent out and that’s it,” he said. Dave the Brave was basically Dave the Broke. Dave the Broke emptied out his pockets. A packet of fags – he was trying to quit, but it had been a rough few months – a couple of creased fivers and a few loose coins. That was it. He barely had enough to get a bus home. A couple of PwC employees briefly considered lending him a few quid, but thought better of it. Dave the Broke hadn’t yet signed a contract with the firm and there was no point throwing good money after bad. Especially if it was in Panama and there was little chance of getting it back. | “I own no shares. I have some savings. I have a home that I rent out and that’s it,” he said. Dave the Brave was basically Dave the Broke. Dave the Broke emptied out his pockets. A packet of fags – he was trying to quit, but it had been a rough few months – a couple of creased fivers and a few loose coins. That was it. He barely had enough to get a bus home. A couple of PwC employees briefly considered lending him a few quid, but thought better of it. Dave the Broke hadn’t yet signed a contract with the firm and there was no point throwing good money after bad. Especially if it was in Panama and there was little chance of getting it back. |
| Dave relaxed. He knew he hadn’t really answered the question, but he was off the hook for the time being. If people wanted to be so petty as to think that the assets in question might have been transferred to another family member, let them. His conscience was clean. Time for another question. “Has the EU been bad for British steel?” asked a rare, off-message PwC employee. On another day this could have been a nasty moment, but now it barely registered a flicker. The good thing about everything going wrong at once was that it helped to keep things in perspective. | Dave relaxed. He knew he hadn’t really answered the question, but he was off the hook for the time being. If people wanted to be so petty as to think that the assets in question might have been transferred to another family member, let them. His conscience was clean. Time for another question. “Has the EU been bad for British steel?” asked a rare, off-message PwC employee. On another day this could have been a nasty moment, but now it barely registered a flicker. The good thing about everything going wrong at once was that it helped to keep things in perspective. |
| “Let’s take one last question from the press,” said Dave. On second thoughts, let’s not, the last functioning part of his brain instructed him. So he didn’t. There was no point in pushing his luck. No one had yet asked him about Tory donors. Time to quit while he was ahead. Or rather not as far behind as he might have been. | “Let’s take one last question from the press,” said Dave. On second thoughts, let’s not, the last functioning part of his brain instructed him. So he didn’t. There was no point in pushing his luck. No one had yet asked him about Tory donors. Time to quit while he was ahead. Or rather not as far behind as he might have been. |
| • Comments were opened on this piece in error and have been closed for legal reasons | • Comments were opened on this piece in error and have been closed for legal reasons |