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'Our votes will cancel each other out': the families falling out over Brexit 'Our votes will cancel each other out': the families falling out over Brexit | |
(6 months later) | |
Business is divided, political parties are divided, towns are divided, so it will come as no surprise that families across Britain are split down the middle on the EU referendum, leading to much finger-wagging, marital huffs and frosty exchanges at breakfast tables. | Business is divided, political parties are divided, towns are divided, so it will come as no surprise that families across Britain are split down the middle on the EU referendum, leading to much finger-wagging, marital huffs and frosty exchanges at breakfast tables. |
Respondents to a Guardian survey described students arguing with their grandparents, spouses fuming with each other and antagonists agreeing to disagree and devising clever coping mechanisms to maintain the family peace. | Respondents to a Guardian survey described students arguing with their grandparents, spouses fuming with each other and antagonists agreeing to disagree and devising clever coping mechanisms to maintain the family peace. |
Louise Uhl, from London, is one half of one of them. She’s a “passionate Brexiter”, while her partner believes very strongly that Britain should remain. | Louise Uhl, from London, is one half of one of them. She’s a “passionate Brexiter”, while her partner believes very strongly that Britain should remain. |
“It’s perhaps odd that we should disagree on this because we have almost identical educational and professional backgrounds,” said Uhl. “We have lengthy debates almost daily about the issue and, while we can both understand the other person’s viewpoint, I think we both find it incredibly frustrating that the other person won’t budge. | “It’s perhaps odd that we should disagree on this because we have almost identical educational and professional backgrounds,” said Uhl. “We have lengthy debates almost daily about the issue and, while we can both understand the other person’s viewpoint, I think we both find it incredibly frustrating that the other person won’t budge. |
“We both definitely intend to vote which means, sadly, that our votes will cancel each other out.” | “We both definitely intend to vote which means, sadly, that our votes will cancel each other out.” |
Also at loggerheads are Alan Davies, from Aberaeron in Wales, and his fiancee. | Also at loggerheads are Alan Davies, from Aberaeron in Wales, and his fiancee. |
“She wears a Vote Leave badge on her coat. We are very much at polar opposites in our views and we have the kind of discussions that you know will only end in stalemate,” he said. “Will we get on after the vote? Oh, yes. Always.” | “She wears a Vote Leave badge on her coat. We are very much at polar opposites in our views and we have the kind of discussions that you know will only end in stalemate,” he said. “Will we get on after the vote? Oh, yes. Always.” |
Callum McDonald, a student from Essex, says: “My mum has put in place an unofficial ban on talking about the EU or even national politics, anything above local complaints have become taboo subjects. This hasn’t stopped my grandparents trying to sneak it into conversations. | Callum McDonald, a student from Essex, says: “My mum has put in place an unofficial ban on talking about the EU or even national politics, anything above local complaints have become taboo subjects. This hasn’t stopped my grandparents trying to sneak it into conversations. |
“As an extended family we are either firmly or begrudgingly in the remain camp. One thing we all agree on is the need to vote, especially for young people.” | “As an extended family we are either firmly or begrudgingly in the remain camp. One thing we all agree on is the need to vote, especially for young people.” |
Bans on talking about the issue – official or unofficial – seem to be a popular way of keeping family relations civil. But some of our readers were unsure how they would be able to reunite after the vote, particularly in the event of a leave win. | Bans on talking about the issue – official or unofficial – seem to be a popular way of keeping family relations civil. But some of our readers were unsure how they would be able to reunite after the vote, particularly in the event of a leave win. |
“My dad is very much in favour of Brexit, despite the fact that I live in Sweden working as a researcher at a university and very much rely on the EU for the right to work here, healthcare, and for a lot of the funding which helps employ me and my colleagues,” said Louise Howes, whose parents live in Lincolnshire. | “My dad is very much in favour of Brexit, despite the fact that I live in Sweden working as a researcher at a university and very much rely on the EU for the right to work here, healthcare, and for a lot of the funding which helps employ me and my colleagues,” said Louise Howes, whose parents live in Lincolnshire. |
“If we leave, I am not sure how well I will cope with my feeling of resentment towards him.” | “If we leave, I am not sure how well I will cope with my feeling of resentment towards him.” |
Paul Taylor, from Oldham, said: “My son and daughter are voting leave and I am voting remain, which has resulted in our eating at separate times and passing without speaking.” | Paul Taylor, from Oldham, said: “My son and daughter are voting leave and I am voting remain, which has resulted in our eating at separate times and passing without speaking.” |
One reader on the south coast, who wishes to remain anonymous, faces the unusual situation of being an EU citizen living in the UK – but whose husband is voting for Brexit. “I’m a Corsican lady married to a British man for over 10 years. He’s voting out, as are his entire family,” she said. “I see the whole thing as a betrayal.” | One reader on the south coast, who wishes to remain anonymous, faces the unusual situation of being an EU citizen living in the UK – but whose husband is voting for Brexit. “I’m a Corsican lady married to a British man for over 10 years. He’s voting out, as are his entire family,” she said. “I see the whole thing as a betrayal.” |
For some, that traditional British coping strategy – irreverent humour – might be the best way to get through what is certain to be a difficult few weeks. | For some, that traditional British coping strategy – irreverent humour – might be the best way to get through what is certain to be a difficult few weeks. |
One 36-year-old council worker from Nottingham emailed in frustration after another evening with his family turned to debating Brexit. He is firmly in the remain camp; his retired father will be voting leave. | One 36-year-old council worker from Nottingham emailed in frustration after another evening with his family turned to debating Brexit. He is firmly in the remain camp; his retired father will be voting leave. |
“His argument was, ‘We were all right for 900 years before the EU,” wrote our reader. “Nine hundred years including near-constant war, serfdom, slavery, child labour, no women’s rights, precious few rights for anyone else and people dying at 30 – good argument, Dad. | “His argument was, ‘We were all right for 900 years before the EU,” wrote our reader. “Nine hundred years including near-constant war, serfdom, slavery, child labour, no women’s rights, precious few rights for anyone else and people dying at 30 – good argument, Dad. |
“It was only after I’d gone that I got to thinking about why he kept talking about 900 years and I realised that his starting point for Britain being ‘all right on its own’ was the country being conquered by the French.” | “It was only after I’d gone that I got to thinking about why he kept talking about 900 years and I realised that his starting point for Britain being ‘all right on its own’ was the country being conquered by the French.” |