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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/politics/shortcuts/2016/jun/28/stop-boris-tories-less-awful-leader-conservative-mps
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| Version 3 | Version 4 |
|---|---|
| Stop Boris: can the Tories find a slightly less awful leader? Stop Boris: can the Tories find a slightly less awful leader? | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| Name: Stop Boris. | Name: Stop Boris. |
| Age: Fleeting. | Age: Fleeting. |
| Appearance: Welcome. | Appearance: Welcome. |
| Stop Boris – yes, let’s do that. Stop him doing what, precisely? Becoming the next prime minister. | Stop Boris – yes, let’s do that. Stop him doing what, precisely? Becoming the next prime minister. |
| What? I thought that was a joke. It’s not. | What? I thought that was a joke. It’s not. |
| Jesus. I know. | Jesus. I know. |
| So – how are we going to do it? Tanks? Flamethrower? Immure him in Eton’s tuck shop for the next 20 years? Suspend him from that zipwire again? | So – how are we going to do it? Tanks? Flamethrower? Immure him in Eton’s tuck shop for the next 20 years? Suspend him from that zipwire again? |
| No – Stop Boris is the name being given to a cabal of remain MPs who are allegedly using WhatsApp to send messages as they orchestrate their movement against him. | No – Stop Boris is the name being given to a cabal of remain MPs who are allegedly using WhatsApp to send messages as they orchestrate their movement against him. |
| I didn’t know Tories could use the internet. Needs must. And we are all in dire need. | I didn’t know Tories could use the internet. Needs must. And we are all in dire need. |
| How are they getting on? Well, so far, seven other Tories have expressed an interest in the top job rather than letting Boris have a straight run at the thing. | How are they getting on? Well, so far, seven other Tories have expressed an interest in the top job rather than letting Boris have a straight run at the thing. |
| I can hardly bear to ask … I’ll ease you in gently. Theresa May, the natural enemy of BoJo, is the frontrunner. She is favoured by 31% of Conservative voters against his 24%, according to a YouGov poll. | I can hardly bear to ask … I’ll ease you in gently. Theresa May, the natural enemy of BoJo, is the frontrunner. She is favoured by 31% of Conservative voters against his 24%, according to a YouGov poll. |
| Polls. POLLS. I know, I know. Let’s not even go there. | Polls. POLLS. I know, I know. Let’s not even go there. |
| OK. Who is next in this parade of the damned? Work and pensions secretary Stephen Crabb and business secretary Sajid Javid are said to be canvassing support for a “dream ticket” as leader and chancellor respectively. | OK. Who is next in this parade of the damned? Work and pensions secretary Stephen Crabb and business secretary Sajid Javid are said to be canvassing support for a “dream ticket” as leader and chancellor respectively. |
| “Dream ticket”. It’s as if language has no meaning any more. Go on. Energy minister Andrea Leadsom, former cabinet minister Liam Fox – | “Dream ticket”. It’s as if language has no meaning any more. Go on. Energy minister Andrea Leadsom, former cabinet minister Liam Fox – |
| The one who had to resign in disgrace after people found out he had been letting his best mate sit in on MoD meetings and things? Yes, that one. | The one who had to resign in disgrace after people found out he had been letting his best mate sit in on MoD meetings and things? Yes, that one. |
| Carry on. Education secretary Nicky Morgan. | Carry on. Education secretary Nicky Morgan. |
| Give me strength … Pace yourself. The best is yet to come: health secretary Jeremy Hunt. | Give me strength … Pace yourself. The best is yet to come: health secretary Jeremy Hunt. |
| But he is the worst person in the world. The. Worst. Person. In. The. World. Is he worse than Boris Johnson, though? That is the question you have to ask yourself. | But he is the worst person in the world. The. Worst. Person. In. The. World. Is he worse than Boris Johnson, though? That is the question you have to ask yourself. |
| I can’t … these questions … these words … ”worse”, “worst”… My mind is buckling. May is starting to look like a radiant angel, a benevolent goddess descending from on high to save us all. WHAT IS HAPPENING? We’ll find out on 2 September. | I can’t … these questions … these words … ”worse”, “worst”… My mind is buckling. May is starting to look like a radiant angel, a benevolent goddess descending from on high to save us all. WHAT IS HAPPENING? We’ll find out on 2 September. |
| Do say: “I have dual citizenship with Norway. Ha det bra, my friends, and good luck.” | Do say: “I have dual citizenship with Norway. Ha det bra, my friends, and good luck.” |
| Don’t say: “It’s Hunt for me, all the way.” | Don’t say: “It’s Hunt for me, all the way.” |