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The six speeches Trump should borrow from at the Republican convention The six speeches Trump should borrow from at the Republican convention
(about 1 hour later)
Donald Trump understands that sometimes authenticity and originality are best expressed through the language of well-known statements made by other people.Donald Trump understands that sometimes authenticity and originality are best expressed through the language of well-known statements made by other people.
His wife Melania snuck in a few pre-loved phrases in her convention speech earlier in the week, and that went well, so perhaps Donald can too. As he sets out his inclusive, dynamic, modern vision for America, he would do well to pay gentle homage to other – lesser - figures over whom his majestic hair and his mahogany-tanned head stands, begging to be carved into Mount Rushmore. His wife Melania snuck in a few pre-loved phrases in her convention speech earlier in the week, and that went well, so perhaps Donald can too. As he sets out his inclusive, dynamic, modern vision for America, he would do well to pay gentle homage to other – lesser figures over whom his majestic hair and his mahogany-tanned head stands, begging to be carved into Mount Rushmore.
It isn’t theft, so much as a gentle nod to some less wealthy, untalented people who Trump wants to make famous. Here are some options:It isn’t theft, so much as a gentle nod to some less wealthy, untalented people who Trump wants to make famous. Here are some options:
Martin Luther KingMartin Luther King
Ok sure, so we all go to sleep at night, Dr King. There’s nothing unique about that. Donald sleeps in an opulent Manhattan penthouse. When you close your eyes on 24 carat gold and marble features in a Louis XIV style, frankly, you have a better class of dream. The Don could try: OK sure, so we all go to sleep at night, Dr King. There’s nothing unique about that. Donald sleeps in an opulent Manhattan penthouse. When you close your eyes on 24-carat gold and marble features in a Louis XIV style, frankly, you have a better class of dream. The Don could try:
“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and be huge: “We hold these truths to be self-evident; that crooked Hillary should be in jail.” “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and be huge: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident; that crooked Hillary should be in jail.’
I have a dream that one day that the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table in Trump Tower and enjoy one of my fabulous steaks. Best Trump-branded stakes on the market. Fabulous. I have a dream that one day the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table in Trump Tower and enjoy one of my fabulous steaks. Best Trump-branded steaks on the market. Fabulous.
I have a dream that my little children will one day live in a nation that I am in charge of, in which people will be judged both by the color of their skin and by their sinister relgious convictions. I have a dream that my little children will one day live in a nation that I am in charge of, in which people will be judged both by the color of their skin and by their sinister religious convictions.
I have a dream today.”I have a dream today.”
Franklin D RooseveltFranklin D Roosevelt
Roosevelt died three months into his fourth term. A classic quitter. Probably lied to America about his health the way Hillary lied about Benghazi. A lot of people are saying she should be in jail. Probably should be, don’t you think? Donald’s take on FDR’s line is a knockout:Roosevelt died three months into his fourth term. A classic quitter. Probably lied to America about his health the way Hillary lied about Benghazi. A lot of people are saying she should be in jail. Probably should be, don’t you think? Donald’s take on FDR’s line is a knockout:
“The only thing we have to fear is Islam, and Mexicans” “The only thing we have to fear is Islam, and Mexicans.”
Ronald ReaganRonald Reagan
Ronald Reagan helped end the separation of East & West Germany, and famously at the Brandenburg gate called upon his opposite number in Russia to tear down the Berlin Wall. What a great wall that was. A top wall, it brought real status and class to the place. Germany, China, even Britain has a wall somewhere up north. Trump knows the importance of walls, and should proclaim: Ronald Reagan helped end the separation of East and West Germany, and famously at the Brandenburg gate called upon his opposite number in Russia to tear down the Berlin Wall. What a great wall that was. A top wall, it brought real status and class to the place. Germany, China, even Britain has a wall somewhere up north. Trump knows the importance of walls, and should proclaim:
“Mr [President of Mexico – check who that is] build up this wall.”“Mr [President of Mexico – check who that is] build up this wall.”
J Robert OppenheimerJ Robert Oppenheimer
A pointy-head scientist whose work gave America the first nuclear bomb. Trump’s fearless strategy is to eradicate the extended families of terrorists. Thank God almighty that America never took the coward’s approach of submitting to the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court. With his finger on the nuclear button, the Donald will have the ultimate lever to ensure America always gets a great deal. Trump can stir the base with: A pointy-head scientist whose work gave America the first nuclear bomb. Trump’s fearless strategy is to eradicate the extended families of terrorists. Thank God almighty that America never took the coward’s approach of submitting to the jurisdiction of the international criminal court. With his finger on the nuclear button, the Donald will have the ultimate lever to ensure America always gets a great deal. Trump can stir the base with:
“Now I am become your candidate for president, the destroyer of worlds.”“Now I am become your candidate for president, the destroyer of worlds.”
Richard NixonRichard Nixon
Dickie knew America, he understood America, and he represented the entrepreneurial, can-do attitude that Donald Trump is all about. Nixon had a slight image problem, just a bit of a sweaty face in TV debates, whereas Donald knows how important it is to look slick and professional. This one’s about drawing a direct link between Nixon’s qualities as a president and Donald’s own character:Dickie knew America, he understood America, and he represented the entrepreneurial, can-do attitude that Donald Trump is all about. Nixon had a slight image problem, just a bit of a sweaty face in TV debates, whereas Donald knows how important it is to look slick and professional. This one’s about drawing a direct link between Nixon’s qualities as a president and Donald’s own character:
“I am not a crook.”“I am not a crook.”
Abraham LincolnAbraham Lincoln
Many people say Abe Lincoln was one of the top three US presidents, but he got shot. Trump likes the people who don’t get shot. If Lincoln had been carrying a suppressed MAC-10 at Ford’s Theatre, John Wilkes Booth would’ve tasted the sweet freedom of a 32 round clip of 45 cal hollowpoints to the abdomen. As it is, Lincoln ended up a loser. Still, he gave a half-decent speech once. Many people say Abe Lincoln was one of the top three US presidents, but he got shot. Trump likes the people who don’t get shot. If Lincoln had been carrying a suppressed MAC-10 at Ford’s Theatre, John Wilkes Booth would’ve tasted the sweet freedom of a 32-round clip of 45-cal hollowpoints to the abdomen. As it is, Lincoln ended up a loser. Still, he gave a half-decent speech once.
“This nation, under the Christian God not the Muslim one, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall remember that if Hillary isn’t even good enough for Bill, how can she be good enough for America?”“This nation, under the Christian God not the Muslim one, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall remember that if Hillary isn’t even good enough for Bill, how can she be good enough for America?”