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Prince Harry: I regret not talking about my mother's death sooner Prince Harry: I regret not talking about my mother's death sooner
(about 4 hours later)
Prince Harry has said he regrets not talking sooner about how his mother’s death affected him. Prince Harry has drawn on his experience of losing his mother to highlight mental health issues, revealing that he regrets not talking sooner about how her death affected him.
The 31-year-old revealed he only began opening up three years ago about the sudden death of Diana, Princess of Wales. The 31-year-old spoke to footballer Rio Ferdinand, a father of three whose wife, Rebecca Ellison, died from cancer last year, about dealing with the death of a parent.
Harry was hosting an event at Kensington Palace for the mental health charity Heads Together, attended by a group of high-profile sports stars who were invited to speak about their psychological problems. Harry, who first spoke publicly three years ago about the impact of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales in a car crash in 1997, when he was 12, told the former England and Manchester United footballer: “You know, I really regret not ever talking about it.”
The former England and Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand, and Olympic gold medallists Victoria Pendleton and Dame Kelly Holmes were among the guests. Each was accompanied by a partner, relative or sports psychologist who had helped them through their darkest moments. The exchange took place at a Kensington Palace barbecue attended by a number of sports stars hosted by Heads Together, set up by Harry with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to bring together eight mental health charity and organisations with the aim of tackling the stigma around depression and other mental health problems.
The BBC reported that Ferdinand, whose wife Rebecca Ellison died of cancer last year, asked Harry about the impact of her death on his children. Referring to the death of his own mother, Harry replied: “I really regret not ever talking about it.” Ferdinand, the athletes Dame Kelly Holmes and Iwan Thomas, and the cyclist Victoria Pendleton were among guests.
He added that he did not speak about losing his mother “for the first 28 years of my life”. Harry was 12 and his brother William 15 when Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris on 31 August 1997. The prince told the BBC: “The key message here today is that everyone can suffer from mental health. Whether you are a member of the royal family, whether you are a soldier, whether you are a sports star, whether you are a team sport, individual sport, whether you are a white van driver, whether you’re a mother, father, a child, it doesn’t really matter.”
Harry added: “It’s OK to suffer, as long as you talk about it. It’s not a weakness. Weakness is having a problem and not recognising it and not solving that problem.” Ferdinand later told the broadcaster: “He’s [Harry] gone through different stages in his life that my kids are going to be going towards. So, to get some of his experiences is very rewarding for me and every educational in many ways.”
Heads Together was founded by Harry and the duke and duchess of Cambridge, and it has brought together eight mental health charities and organisations to tackle the stigma around depression and other psychological problems. Harry said later: “It is very easy to look at someone like Rio Ferdinand and say, ‘You get paid all the money in the world, you are a successful footballer, you have fast cars’. But at the end of the day his wife was snatched from him at an early stage of his life with her. So, of course he is going to suffer, it doesn’t matter if he has an amazing job.”
Ferdinand, a father of three, said of the prince: “He’s gone through different stages in his life that my kids are going to be going towards. So to get some of his experiences is very rewarding for me and very educational in many ways.” The prince said the event was an opportunity to show that even “unflappable” sporting personalities could experience mental health problems. He told BBC Breakfast: “It is OK to suffer, but as long as you talk about it. It is not a weakness. Weakness is having a problem and not recognising it and not solving it.”
Harry added: “The key message here today is that everyone can suffer from mental health [issues]. Whether you’re a member of the royal family, whether you’re a soldier, whether you’re a sports star, whether you’re a team sport, individual sport, whether you’re a white van driver, whether you’re a mother, father, a child, it doesn’t really matter.” He also spoke to Holmes, who won gold in the 2004 Olympics in the 800 metres and 1,500 metres, and who revealed her experience of depression in her autobiography. She said: “I had depression going through my athletics career, no one knew at all what I was going through.” She said it had only been in the last few years that she had been more open.
Thomas advised anyone experiencing mental health issues: “Don’t feel embarrassed, don’t feel shameful about it if you deem it as a weakness, as I did.
“I felt mentally I was weak, because I had gone from someone who was mentally tough, mentally very strong, someone physically strong, to someone who felt vulnerable and weak. And you are not weak. You are just going through a tough time in your life, where, if you can talk to someone, hopefully, they will help you through the other side.”