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Version 0 Version 1
The great Scottish Zimmer frame amnesty of 2016 The great Scottish Zimmer frame amnesty of 2016
(about 1 hour later)
Name: Zimmer frames.Name: Zimmer frames.
Age: You mean the age at which you start using them, or when they were invented?Age: You mean the age at which you start using them, or when they were invented?
I think you know what I mean OK, walking frames were invented by William Cribbes Robb in the late 1940s. He was based in the UK but, as with most inventions, we let it slip through out fingers. The Americans improved on Robb’s designs, and the Indiana-based company Zimmer Holdings became synonymous with the walking aids. I think you know what I mean OK, walking frames were invented by William Cribbes Robb in the late 1940s. He was based in the UK but, as with most inventions, we let it slip through our fingers. The Americans improved on Robb’s designs, and the Indiana-based company Zimmer Holdings became synonymous with the walking aids.
Do I need to know any of this? The sun is shining, I could be doing something interesting. There is a point. Bear with me. Ask me the appearance question.Do I need to know any of this? The sun is shining, I could be doing something interesting. There is a point. Bear with me. Ask me the appearance question.
Appearance: Come on. Everyone knows what a Zimmer frame looks like.Appearance: Come on. Everyone knows what a Zimmer frame looks like.
You are in a playful mood. Just get to the point. Fife council has declared a Zimmer frame amnesty. The council reckons 160,000 mobility aids are lying unused across the region, and it wants them back – no questions asked.You are in a playful mood. Just get to the point. Fife council has declared a Zimmer frame amnesty. The council reckons 160,000 mobility aids are lying unused across the region, and it wants them back – no questions asked.
Related: Scottish council offers Zimmer frame amnestyRelated: Scottish council offers Zimmer frame amnesty
Blimey, 160,000 sounds a lot. How many people are there in Fife? 365,000.Blimey, 160,000 sounds a lot. How many people are there in Fife? 365,000.
That’s almost one walking aid for every two people. How could the local population get so enfeebled? Look, this is a funny article about a Zimmer frame amnesty, not a sociological survey of disability.That’s almost one walking aid for every two people. How could the local population get so enfeebled? Look, this is a funny article about a Zimmer frame amnesty, not a sociological survey of disability.
What’s funny about a Zimmer frame amnesty? A council spokesman sums it up rather nicely: “Amnesties have been known to work for guns, knives and air rifles. Now it is the turn of Zimmers.”What’s funny about a Zimmer frame amnesty? A council spokesman sums it up rather nicely: “Amnesties have been known to work for guns, knives and air rifles. Now it is the turn of Zimmers.”
A bit contrived. It is August.A bit contrived. It is August.
Is there a serious purpose to it? There sure is. Age UK says lots of elderly and disabled people have to stay in hospital because of a shortage of disability aids. If people ransack their lofts and garages and return them, the situation will be transformed. Hurray!.Is there a serious purpose to it? There sure is. Age UK says lots of elderly and disabled people have to stay in hospital because of a shortage of disability aids. If people ransack their lofts and garages and return them, the situation will be transformed. Hurray!.
When did we last discuss Zimmer frames? There is a rock band called the Zimmers, formed in 2007 to publicise the feelings of isolation felt by the elderly. The band members are 65-plus, and in May 2007 their cover of the Who’s My Generation reached 26 in the charts.When did we last discuss Zimmer frames? There is a rock band called the Zimmers, formed in 2007 to publicise the feelings of isolation felt by the elderly. The band members are 65-plus, and in May 2007 their cover of the Who’s My Generation reached 26 in the charts.
Interesting, though they don’t actually sound that much older than the Who. As usual, you are missing the point.Interesting, though they don’t actually sound that much older than the Who. As usual, you are missing the point.
Not to be confused with: Rollators – Zimmers on wheels.Not to be confused with: Rollators – Zimmers on wheels.
Do say: “Zimmertime and the living is easy.”Do say: “Zimmertime and the living is easy.”
Don’t say: “The comedians at the Edinburgh festival should have some fun with this.”Don’t say: “The comedians at the Edinburgh festival should have some fun with this.”