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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| I learned the hard way that medicine can be humiliating and incestuous I learned the hard way that medicine can be humiliating and incestuous | |
| (4 months later) | |
| Early in my career as a junior doctor I had a rotation I was looking forward to, where I was working with different senior doctors in the mornings and afternoons. I was quite excited as this was definitely a part of medicine I was interested in. | Early in my career as a junior doctor I had a rotation I was looking forward to, where I was working with different senior doctors in the mornings and afternoons. I was quite excited as this was definitely a part of medicine I was interested in. |
| On one of my first days I arrived at 6.30am to meet my senior doctor. I waited in the pre-op area, a room with several beds and curtains where patients have their regular checks before an operation. A small congregation of doctors and nurses wandered in talking. I didn’t know what the senior doctor who I would be working with looked like so I asked one of the nurses. “Yes, that’s him there,” she said with a cautious look. I walked proudly up to him and introduced myself. | On one of my first days I arrived at 6.30am to meet my senior doctor. I waited in the pre-op area, a room with several beds and curtains where patients have their regular checks before an operation. A small congregation of doctors and nurses wandered in talking. I didn’t know what the senior doctor who I would be working with looked like so I asked one of the nurses. “Yes, that’s him there,” she said with a cautious look. I walked proudly up to him and introduced myself. |
| The senior doctor looked me up and down and said, “Well done you”, then brushed past me into the corridor. I scuttled after him thinking maybe he didn’t realise “I ... I think I’m with you this morning?” | The senior doctor looked me up and down and said, “Well done you”, then brushed past me into the corridor. I scuttled after him thinking maybe he didn’t realise “I ... I think I’m with you this morning?” |
| “Yes, yes I guess you are.” | “Yes, yes I guess you are.” |
| I followed him into another room, starting to sweat slightly. | I followed him into another room, starting to sweat slightly. |
| “HAT!” shouted the nurse. “You need a hat!” | “HAT!” shouted the nurse. “You need a hat!” |
| The senior doctor turned around: “Better get yourself a hat.” He let go of the door which swung almost into my face. | The senior doctor turned around: “Better get yourself a hat.” He let go of the door which swung almost into my face. |
| “Hat,” I said to myself, but where? Feeling anxious I rushed around the theatres and found the changing rooms and finally a box of hats. I stumbled back into the room, the first patient had already been brought in. The senior doctor thrust a tray into my midriff: “Any good with cannulas?” | “Hat,” I said to myself, but where? Feeling anxious I rushed around the theatres and found the changing rooms and finally a box of hats. I stumbled back into the room, the first patient had already been brought in. The senior doctor thrust a tray into my midriff: “Any good with cannulas?” |
| I mumbled something about recently being on paediatrics and not having done that many yet; he interjected: “Go on then.” | I mumbled something about recently being on paediatrics and not having done that many yet; he interjected: “Go on then.” |
| I smiled and introduced myself to the patient, applied the tourniquet, cleaned the area of skin and nervously began to insert. Feeling pressure, I was overjoyed to see flashback – a small spot of blood in the cannula that means you’ve struck a vein. But on withdrawing the inner needle, no blood flowed. “No, no, no, you’ve blown the vein. Here.” The senior doctor stepped in and re-jigged the cannula correctly. | I smiled and introduced myself to the patient, applied the tourniquet, cleaned the area of skin and nervously began to insert. Feeling pressure, I was overjoyed to see flashback – a small spot of blood in the cannula that means you’ve struck a vein. But on withdrawing the inner needle, no blood flowed. “No, no, no, you’ve blown the vein. Here.” The senior doctor stepped in and re-jigged the cannula correctly. |
| A grilling started and even questions answered correctly were met with a look of them being barely acceptable. If wrong it was: “I mean, you did pass your exams? You should know this.” A humiliating dressing down in front of a sympathetic looking nurse. | A grilling started and even questions answered correctly were met with a look of them being barely acceptable. If wrong it was: “I mean, you did pass your exams? You should know this.” A humiliating dressing down in front of a sympathetic looking nurse. |
| I was asked to perform a procedure I was unfamiliar with. Hands sweating, I tried my best but I struggled. “Come on,” he boomed. “We’ve already discussed this – it won’t be long before we have to start worrying.” He sat back watching me struggle. The rest of the morning continued in this way. | I was asked to perform a procedure I was unfamiliar with. Hands sweating, I tried my best but I struggled. “Come on,” he boomed. “We’ve already discussed this – it won’t be long before we have to start worrying.” He sat back watching me struggle. The rest of the morning continued in this way. |
| That afternoon I was crestfallen and the new senior doctor I was with, who was much nicer, asked if I was OK. “I had a ... tough morning,” I said. She asked who I was with, and after telling her she gave me a knowing look. “Tell me what happened,” she said reassuringly. We sat down and I told her the story. Growing in confidence as she nodded I said: “I just think it was rude and arrogant.” After I finished she sat back. | That afternoon I was crestfallen and the new senior doctor I was with, who was much nicer, asked if I was OK. “I had a ... tough morning,” I said. She asked who I was with, and after telling her she gave me a knowing look. “Tell me what happened,” she said reassuringly. We sat down and I told her the story. Growing in confidence as she nodded I said: “I just think it was rude and arrogant.” After I finished she sat back. |
| “Yes” she said. “He’s my husband” | “Yes” she said. “He’s my husband” |
| I sat back and looked horrified. Glee reflected on her face. | I sat back and looked horrified. Glee reflected on her face. |
| “Sorry,” she said through laughter. “I couldn’t resist.” | “Sorry,” she said through laughter. “I couldn’t resist.” |
| I learned an important lesson that day – if a colleague asks your opinion about another doctor, check first that they’re not married. | I learned an important lesson that day – if a colleague asks your opinion about another doctor, check first that they’re not married. |
| Ed Patrick is performing his show, Ed Patrick: Junior Optimist, at the Edinburgh Fringe every evening, 6.55pm at Just the Tonic at the Community Project. Last show is on 28 August. | Ed Patrick is performing his show, Ed Patrick: Junior Optimist, at the Edinburgh Fringe every evening, 6.55pm at Just the Tonic at the Community Project. Last show is on 28 August. |
| If you would like to contribute to our Blood, sweat and tears series which is about memorable moments in a healthcare career, please read our guidelines and get in touch by emailing sarah.johnson@theguardian.com. | If you would like to contribute to our Blood, sweat and tears series which is about memorable moments in a healthcare career, please read our guidelines and get in touch by emailing sarah.johnson@theguardian.com. |
| Do you work in the NHS? Please take our survey and tell us whether bullying is a problem and how it affects your work. | Do you work in the NHS? Please take our survey and tell us whether bullying is a problem and how it affects your work. |
| Join the Healthcare Professionals Network to read more pieces like this. And follow us on Twitter (@GdnHealthcare) to keep up with the latest healthcare news and views. | Join the Healthcare Professionals Network to read more pieces like this. And follow us on Twitter (@GdnHealthcare) to keep up with the latest healthcare news and views. |