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| I was happy living as a Briton in Germany – but then came Brexit | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| In recent days I have been called a traitor by some, and given words of encouragement by others. There have been recommendations about poems by Schiller and Goethe I should now be able to recite, and jibes that I may never be able to jaywalk again. | In recent days I have been called a traitor by some, and given words of encouragement by others. There have been recommendations about poems by Schiller and Goethe I should now be able to recite, and jibes that I may never be able to jaywalk again. |
| When I sat on the press benches of the Bundestag last Friday to hear a debate about enabling Britons to become German citizens in the wake of Brexit – for which precisely 77 minutes had been scheduled – it was as if I was being personally urged to take a long, hard look at my motivation for acquiring German citizenship. | When I sat on the press benches of the Bundestag last Friday to hear a debate about enabling Britons to become German citizens in the wake of Brexit – for which precisely 77 minutes had been scheduled – it was as if I was being personally urged to take a long, hard look at my motivation for acquiring German citizenship. |
| Did I, as the CDU member for North Saxony, Marian Wendt, suggested, adopting a tongue-twister, merely want to avoid being a “nicht-Schengen Schlangen Steher” – a non-Schengen queue stander? Or was I driven by a deeper sense of conviction that I wanted to be a German? | Did I, as the CDU member for North Saxony, Marian Wendt, suggested, adopting a tongue-twister, merely want to avoid being a “nicht-Schengen Schlangen Steher” – a non-Schengen queue stander? Or was I driven by a deeper sense of conviction that I wanted to be a German? |
| Was I just a 'nicht-Schengen Schlangen Steher' – a 'non-Schengen queue stander' – or did I have deeper conviction? | Was I just a 'nicht-Schengen Schlangen Steher' – a 'non-Schengen queue stander' – or did I have deeper conviction? |
| His CDU colleague, Barbara Woltmann, might have been talking to me directly when she told the house that acquiring citizenship “is not like putting a piece of clothing on which you can later take off … it’s not arbitrary, it’s a clear statement to the country you’re living in”. | His CDU colleague, Barbara Woltmann, might have been talking to me directly when she told the house that acquiring citizenship “is not like putting a piece of clothing on which you can later take off … it’s not arbitrary, it’s a clear statement to the country you’re living in”. |
| Post-Brexit, my much-treasured Irish passport, which I’ve held since 2002, will ensure I remain an EU member. But I am still left in the sorry situation that, having worked abroad as a foreign correspondent for the best part of 20 years, I have lost the right to vote in the UK. (The length of time that a UK citizen can vote after moving abroad is limited to 15 years.) Quite painfully, that meant I was unable to vote in the Brexit referendum. But neither, despite being a taxpayer in Germany and having children in the education system, am I eligible to vote in national elections in Germany. | Post-Brexit, my much-treasured Irish passport, which I’ve held since 2002, will ensure I remain an EU member. But I am still left in the sorry situation that, having worked abroad as a foreign correspondent for the best part of 20 years, I have lost the right to vote in the UK. (The length of time that a UK citizen can vote after moving abroad is limited to 15 years.) Quite painfully, that meant I was unable to vote in the Brexit referendum. But neither, despite being a taxpayer in Germany and having children in the education system, am I eligible to vote in national elections in Germany. |
| “So I am disenfranchised unless I give up my job and move back to the UK, which is why I’d like to take on German citizenship,” I told the bureaucrat at my local town hall when I went to pick up the citizenship application papers at the start of the summer. | “So I am disenfranchised unless I give up my job and move back to the UK, which is why I’d like to take on German citizenship,” I told the bureaucrat at my local town hall when I went to pick up the citizenship application papers at the start of the summer. |
| “That is fully understandable,” she said to me over her half-rimmed spectacles. | “That is fully understandable,” she said to me over her half-rimmed spectacles. |
| “But can you prove to me you speak German?” she asked, a half hour into our introductory chat, in German, which had already covered issues such as my willingness to declare my “verfassungstreue” (loyalty to the constitution) and confirmation that I harboured no “verfassungsfeindliche Bestrebungen” (anti-constitutional ambitions). | “But can you prove to me you speak German?” she asked, a half hour into our introductory chat, in German, which had already covered issues such as my willingness to declare my “verfassungstreue” (loyalty to the constitution) and confirmation that I harboured no “verfassungsfeindliche Bestrebungen” (anti-constitutional ambitions). |
| “No evening school certificate?” | “No evening school certificate?” |
| “No,” I replied, before it struck me. “But I do have a German degree!” | “No,” I replied, before it struck me. “But I do have a German degree!” |
| “Ah super!” she exclaimed. “From what university?” | “Ah super!” she exclaimed. “From what university?” |
| “Leeds.” Adding in response to her puzzled expression: “It’s in the north of England.” | “Leeds.” Adding in response to her puzzled expression: “It’s in the north of England.” |
| Sadly my degree did not count, so earlier this month I found myself among a roomful of other hopeful applicants for German citizenship. We came from Ukraine, Japan, Russia, Mozambique, Pakistan, India and the UK, and were spending a whole day being tested to level B1 (threshold or intermediate) at a cost of €116 (£100). “This is proof that Germany is getting more and more international!” said the invigilator, a woman in her 60s with a Merkel-style haircut, who appeared more excited than alarmed. | Sadly my degree did not count, so earlier this month I found myself among a roomful of other hopeful applicants for German citizenship. We came from Ukraine, Japan, Russia, Mozambique, Pakistan, India and the UK, and were spending a whole day being tested to level B1 (threshold or intermediate) at a cost of €116 (£100). “This is proof that Germany is getting more and more international!” said the invigilator, a woman in her 60s with a Merkel-style haircut, who appeared more excited than alarmed. |
| For the concluding conversation test I was paired with one of the two other Britons in the group. Ed from Ilford was an archaeologist turned embalmer who had lived in Germany for 28 years. He was from “Brexitland”, he explained, and wanted to secure his German citizenship so he could retain his residency and worker’s rights as a member of the EU. | For the concluding conversation test I was paired with one of the two other Britons in the group. Ed from Ilford was an archaeologist turned embalmer who had lived in Germany for 28 years. He was from “Brexitland”, he explained, and wanted to secure his German citizenship so he could retain his residency and worker’s rights as a member of the EU. |
| 'Have you forgotten who bombed us?' asked one person when I mentioned I was doing the test. Clearly he hadn't | 'Have you forgotten who bombed us?' asked one person when I mentioned I was doing the test. Clearly he hadn't |
| Together, under adjudication, we had to discuss the finer points of internet shopping which concluded with everyone – us and the erstwhile stern-faced examiners – collapsing about laughing because we were far better than they had expected. | Together, under adjudication, we had to discuss the finer points of internet shopping which concluded with everyone – us and the erstwhile stern-faced examiners – collapsing about laughing because we were far better than they had expected. |
| At a separate citizenship test, on another day, there were at least six Britons among the 17 candidates in the room. “Are you all here because of Brexit?” the examiner asked us, saying she’d never seen so many Britons taking the exam before. “Ja,” we all replied. If anecdotes shared on Twitter and Facebook are anything to go by, similar scenes have been witnessed in exam rooms across Germany – as well as elsewhere in Europe – over the past few weeks. | At a separate citizenship test, on another day, there were at least six Britons among the 17 candidates in the room. “Are you all here because of Brexit?” the examiner asked us, saying she’d never seen so many Britons taking the exam before. “Ja,” we all replied. If anecdotes shared on Twitter and Facebook are anything to go by, similar scenes have been witnessed in exam rooms across Germany – as well as elsewhere in Europe – over the past few weeks. |
| On social media there have also been accusations of treachery. “Have you forgotten who bombed us?” asked one person when I mentioned I was doing the test. Clearly he hadn’t. | On social media there have also been accusations of treachery. “Have you forgotten who bombed us?” asked one person when I mentioned I was doing the test. Clearly he hadn’t. |
| In fact the 33 multiple-choice questions left me in no doubt of the historical and moral burden that I will potentially be taking on. “When were the National Socialists with Adolf Hitler in power?” asked one. “Who built the Berlin Wall?” was another. “27 January is an official day of remembrance … what do we recall on this day?” (Answer: the victims of National Socialism.) | In fact the 33 multiple-choice questions left me in no doubt of the historical and moral burden that I will potentially be taking on. “When were the National Socialists with Adolf Hitler in power?” asked one. “Who built the Berlin Wall?” was another. “27 January is an official day of remembrance … what do we recall on this day?” (Answer: the victims of National Socialism.) |
| Other questions such as “To how many partners can you be married at the same time?”, or “Can a 13-year-old live in a relationship with a 25-year-old?” offered an insight into some of the challenges Germany continues to face. | Other questions such as “To how many partners can you be married at the same time?”, or “Can a 13-year-old live in a relationship with a 25-year-old?” offered an insight into some of the challenges Germany continues to face. |
| My watermarked citizenship test certificate arrived a few days ago. I passed with full marks – as I should have done, having worked here for over 10 years. I’m now waiting on the language test results. But even then I’ll still need to provide a raft of officially-translated documents – from birth certificates to work contracts – for everyone in the family, tax returns, evidence I have a regular income, and that my partner’s income could also cover me, as well as proof I have a pension and even nursing care insurance. It’s good to know they take a long-term approach to this. | My watermarked citizenship test certificate arrived a few days ago. I passed with full marks – as I should have done, having worked here for over 10 years. I’m now waiting on the language test results. But even then I’ll still need to provide a raft of officially-translated documents – from birth certificates to work contracts – for everyone in the family, tax returns, evidence I have a regular income, and that my partner’s income could also cover me, as well as proof I have a pension and even nursing care insurance. It’s good to know they take a long-term approach to this. |
| A British acquaintance, a teacher, who came here in the Spring of 1989 before the fall of the Berlin Wall and fell in love, was smart enough to secure her citizenship ahead of the post-referendum rush. She described how at her recent citizenship ceremony a string trio played the German national anthem, followed by the European hymn, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. “One man spontaneously started humming and gradually everyone in the room joined in,” she said, visibly moved by the recollection. | A British acquaintance, a teacher, who came here in the Spring of 1989 before the fall of the Berlin Wall and fell in love, was smart enough to secure her citizenship ahead of the post-referendum rush. She described how at her recent citizenship ceremony a string trio played the German national anthem, followed by the European hymn, Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. “One man spontaneously started humming and gradually everyone in the room joined in,” she said, visibly moved by the recollection. |
| For some Germans, as for many Britons, the idea that Britons should be applying for German citizenship is ludicrous.“The British are British!” said one respondent on Twitter. | For some Germans, as for many Britons, the idea that Britons should be applying for German citizenship is ludicrous.“The British are British!” said one respondent on Twitter. |
| The Greens have been calling on the government to make the procedure easier and quicker. Bearing in mind that many Britons do not qualify because they have not lived here long enough, and the two-year window between Article 50 being triggered and Britain’s exit from the EU – within which time Britons, as EU members, can keep their UK passports as well as obtaining German ones – there is some need for urgency. | The Greens have been calling on the government to make the procedure easier and quicker. Bearing in mind that many Britons do not qualify because they have not lived here long enough, and the two-year window between Article 50 being triggered and Britain’s exit from the EU – within which time Britons, as EU members, can keep their UK passports as well as obtaining German ones – there is some need for urgency. |
| Some members of the Bundestag see an opportunity, citing all the British talent – such as the many entrepreneurs and scientists – who live in Germany. But the phrase “Zwangsgermanisierung” or “forced Germanisation” was also doing the rounds during the Bundestag debate. | Some members of the Bundestag see an opportunity, citing all the British talent – such as the many entrepreneurs and scientists – who live in Germany. But the phrase “Zwangsgermanisierung” or “forced Germanisation” was also doing the rounds during the Bundestag debate. |
| My view is that very few of us intended for this to happen. Much as I like and respect the Germans, I was quite happy being a Briton living on mainland Europe. But, as Ed the embalmer wrote to me in a WhatsApp message after our joint language test: “It’s a bit of an all-hands-to-the-lifeboats feeling.” We agreed to a reunion with the other Britons we’ve met during the process, once we’ve officially been, as Ed put it, “Deutschified”. | My view is that very few of us intended for this to happen. Much as I like and respect the Germans, I was quite happy being a Briton living on mainland Europe. But, as Ed the embalmer wrote to me in a WhatsApp message after our joint language test: “It’s a bit of an all-hands-to-the-lifeboats feeling.” We agreed to a reunion with the other Britons we’ve met during the process, once we’ve officially been, as Ed put it, “Deutschified”. |