The PM's Brexit confusion is contagious

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/oct/12/the-pms-brexit-confusion-contagious

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Theresa May was confused. She didn’t appear to have heard her home secretary telling the Conservative party conference that foreign workers would be named and shamed. “That never happened,” she insisted at prime minister’s questions, “which is why I went out of my way earlier in the week to say that when Amber Rudd had said this she actually meant the complete opposite.” Doublethink used to be a prerogative of the left.

The prime minister was also confused about whether parliament should be allowed to debate the terms on which Britain would negotiate its exit from the EU. “When I said the government wasn’t prepared to debate Brexit,” she again insisted, “what I really meant was that it hadn’t occurred to me parliament would be interested in why the value of the pound was falling further and further by the day.”

Most of all, though, Theresa was confused by the Labour party. For months now she had been used to it being a bit of a rabble and squabbling among itself. Now it was showing signs of getting its act together. Jeremy Corbyn was asking trickier and more focused questions and the backbenchers were more interested in getting under Tory skins than their leader’s. No one had ever warned her that the opposition might actually oppose and she couldn’t handle it. She felt brittle and unsure; even she wasn’t convinced by her answers.

Grumpy David Davis was also confused. And even grumpier than usual. He’d been told the government wouldn’t be giving a running commentary on its Brexit negotiations and here he was being dragged back to the Commons for the second time in three days to explain why he didn’t really have a clue about what he was supposed to be doing and was making it up as he went along. He hadn’t voted for Britain to leave the EU only for parliament to hold him to account. That’s not what he called “taking back control”.

Labour’s shadow Brexit minister, Keir Starmer, tried to make things easy for Grumpy. Scrutinising the government’s Brexit negotiations was not about trying to renege on the result of the referendum; it was about trying to negotiate the best possible outcome for leaving the EU. Hadn’t Grumpy tabled a 10 minute rule bill back in 1999 which questioned the right of the executive to ratify treaty changes without a vote in parliament?

“La la la,” grumped Grumpy. “I’m not listening.”

“Allow me to put it this way, then,” Starmer continued, helpfully. If Grumpy was going to act like an idiot, he would treat him like one. “The referendum was a mandate to leave the EU. It wasn’t a mandate on the terms on which we would leave. You can’t build a consensus around a position that you’ve refused to disclose.”

“Another day, another outing,” said Grumpy when he finally got to have his say. “My mandate is my mandate. It is the biggest mandate ever. Take back control. I am not a robot. Clunk. Clunk. Whirr.” Grumpy didn’t bother to check his notes. He was still on auto-pilot from last Monday. “There’s no need for the government to do anything it doesn’t want to. We’ve done quite enough voting. My mandate is my mandate. Control back take. Clunk. Whirr. Plop.”

“Actually,” Labour’s Jack Dromey interrupted. “A junior minister, George Eustice, has just gone on the radio to say that the government will be putting forward a green paper for parliament to debate. So that rather suggests we will get a vote.”

“Mandate. Back control take. There will be no vote. Ever. Over my rapidly dying body. Clunk. Clunk. Whirr.” Grumpy’s system was suffering severe overload from a government making up policy on the hoof behind his back. Grumpy made his excuses and made a quick dash for the exit.

The reason for Grumpy’s systems failure soon became even clearer. It wasn’t just the opposition that was learning how to oppose. It was also the Tory backbenchers who were beginning to find their voice. “My duty to represent my constituents transcends that of my duty to the party,” said Dominic Grieve. The sentiment was echoed by Anna Soubry, Nicky Morgan, Claire Perry, Chris Philp, Ken Clarke, Maria Miller and Alastair Burt.

Back at No 10, Theresa May could see her majority slipping away in front of her eyes. There must be no vote prior to article 50 being triggered after all. She picked up the phone and told Eustice that when he had talked about putting a Brexit green paper before parliament he’d really been talking about a completely different green paper. Eustice scratched his head. The prime minister’s confusion was contagious.