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| Amber Rudd uneasy participant in Theresa protection racket Amber Rudd uneasy participant in Theresa protection racket | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| “Urgent question to the home secretary on the child sex abuse inquiry,” said the speaker, John Bercow. | “Urgent question to the home secretary on the child sex abuse inquiry,” said the speaker, John Bercow. |
| “I’ve come to the house to give a statement” said Amber Rudd. | “I’ve come to the house to give a statement” said Amber Rudd. |
| “Er, no you haven’t,” said Bercow. “You’ve been dragged here to answer an embarrassing question about why the government’s third choice of chair for the inquiry was even more inept than the previous two.” | “Er, no you haven’t,” said Bercow. “You’ve been dragged here to answer an embarrassing question about why the government’s third choice of chair for the inquiry was even more inept than the previous two.” |
| Rudd kept her eyes down and stuck to her script. The government had done absolutely nothing wrong and had acted brilliantly throughout. The fact that the inquiry was now on to its fourth chair was merely a sign of the lengths it was prepared to go to find the right person. And when she had discovered that the last chair, Dame Lowell Goddard, was feeling a bit lonely in the UK, she had acted immediately to book her a first-class seat back to New Zealand. | Rudd kept her eyes down and stuck to her script. The government had done absolutely nothing wrong and had acted brilliantly throughout. The fact that the inquiry was now on to its fourth chair was merely a sign of the lengths it was prepared to go to find the right person. And when she had discovered that the last chair, Dame Lowell Goddard, was feeling a bit lonely in the UK, she had acted immediately to book her a first-class seat back to New Zealand. |
| This answer didn’t entirely satisfy Labour’s Lisa Nandy, who is now on the backbenches having suffered some abuse of her own for not having been more supportive of Jeremy Corbyn. Was it not the case that 38 Home Office staff had been seconded to the inquiry? So how come the home secretary was the only person in the home office to be unaware of the allegations that had circulated for months about Goddard’s unsuitability for the job? And why was it that Goddard was sent home with an £80K goody bag when the reasons for her leaving had yet to be investigated? | This answer didn’t entirely satisfy Labour’s Lisa Nandy, who is now on the backbenches having suffered some abuse of her own for not having been more supportive of Jeremy Corbyn. Was it not the case that 38 Home Office staff had been seconded to the inquiry? So how come the home secretary was the only person in the home office to be unaware of the allegations that had circulated for months about Goddard’s unsuitability for the job? And why was it that Goddard was sent home with an £80K goody bag when the reasons for her leaving had yet to be investigated? |
| Nandy’s forensic eye is missed on the frontbench and Rudd struggled to come up with any proper answers. “Um … er … The independence of the committee is absolutely paramount,” she ad-libbed, as if that explained her rather trusting and laissez-faire approach. “And I can categorically state that I didn’t mislead the home affair select committee about the reasons for Justice Goddard’s resignation. | Nandy’s forensic eye is missed on the frontbench and Rudd struggled to come up with any proper answers. “Um … er … The independence of the committee is absolutely paramount,” she ad-libbed, as if that explained her rather trusting and laissez-faire approach. “And I can categorically state that I didn’t mislead the home affair select committee about the reasons for Justice Goddard’s resignation. |
| “Although I did hear she was unhappy a week before the committee met, Goddard had sent me this awfully sweet letter saying what a hard time she was having being away from home for so long and that when she had taken the job she hadn’t realised she would actually need to be in the UK. And even if I had heard rumours about her being high-handed and racist, I couldn’t possibly have mentioned it to anyone as she has strongly denied the rumours that I hadn’t heard.” | “Although I did hear she was unhappy a week before the committee met, Goddard had sent me this awfully sweet letter saying what a hard time she was having being away from home for so long and that when she had taken the job she hadn’t realised she would actually need to be in the UK. And even if I had heard rumours about her being high-handed and racist, I couldn’t possibly have mentioned it to anyone as she has strongly denied the rumours that I hadn’t heard.” |
| Rudd knew she was in trouble but her hands were tied as she couldn’t be seen to land her boss in it. Theresa May was the name that could not be mentioned. It had been the prime minister who had delayed the inquiry and undermined its competence for several years by appointing three unsuitable chairs but it was Rudd who was expected to take the hit. Rudd didn’t look as if she was an entirely willing accomplice in this Theresa protection racket but she gutsed it out. | Rudd knew she was in trouble but her hands were tied as she couldn’t be seen to land her boss in it. Theresa May was the name that could not be mentioned. It had been the prime minister who had delayed the inquiry and undermined its competence for several years by appointing three unsuitable chairs but it was Rudd who was expected to take the hit. Rudd didn’t look as if she was an entirely willing accomplice in this Theresa protection racket but she gutsed it out. |
| “I have every faith in the committee,” she said. A few tame Tories tried and failed convince themselves that the child sex abuse inquiry was absolutely on track. Trust is something that has to be earned and the home office is going to have to perform a great deal better to win the public’s confidence. “In Professor Alexis Jay, we have an excellent new chair.” Even if she was only the fourth choice. The home secretary conveniently forgot to explain why she had sent Goddard home with her pockets bulging with cash rather than giving her a subscription to Guardian Soulmates. | “I have every faith in the committee,” she said. A few tame Tories tried and failed convince themselves that the child sex abuse inquiry was absolutely on track. Trust is something that has to be earned and the home office is going to have to perform a great deal better to win the public’s confidence. “In Professor Alexis Jay, we have an excellent new chair.” Even if she was only the fourth choice. The home secretary conveniently forgot to explain why she had sent Goddard home with her pockets bulging with cash rather than giving her a subscription to Guardian Soulmates. |
| Diane Abbott was a less robust interrogator than Nandy, but Yvette Cooper, Paul Flynn and John Mann maintained the pressure on the home secretary. Rudd could do little more than wing it. She had done everything she possibly could and she wasn’t going to mention Theresa’s name under any circumstances. Nobody could possibly have predicted just how lonely Goddard would have become. Or how controversial. Everyone should just chill out a bit. The inquiry would definitely be reporting by 2020. Or 3030. She wasn’t sure which. | Diane Abbott was a less robust interrogator than Nandy, but Yvette Cooper, Paul Flynn and John Mann maintained the pressure on the home secretary. Rudd could do little more than wing it. She had done everything she possibly could and she wasn’t going to mention Theresa’s name under any circumstances. Nobody could possibly have predicted just how lonely Goddard would have become. Or how controversial. Everyone should just chill out a bit. The inquiry would definitely be reporting by 2020. Or 3030. She wasn’t sure which. |
| After 40 long, long minutes the speaker finally put Rudd out of her misery. She skipped out of the chamber to stick pins in her Theresa May doll. Over in No 10, the prime minister doubled up. Only she could say if it was in agony or laughter. | After 40 long, long minutes the speaker finally put Rudd out of her misery. She skipped out of the chamber to stick pins in her Theresa May doll. Over in No 10, the prime minister doubled up. Only she could say if it was in agony or laughter. |