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| Internet romance scams: 'I realise I was being groomed' | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| Could you ever be tricked out of money by a stranger posing as a potential romantic partner? | Could you ever be tricked out of money by a stranger posing as a potential romantic partner? |
| On Thursday, we spoke to a Danish woman who was tricked by a Nigerian man posing as a Dane seeking love. | On Thursday, we spoke to a Danish woman who was tricked by a Nigerian man posing as a Dane seeking love. |
| Following that story, we received many emails from people saying they had been lured into similar traps. Here are some of their stories. | Following that story, we received many emails from people saying they had been lured into similar traps. Here are some of their stories. |
| "He phoned me and said he was short of $4,000" | "He phoned me and said he was short of $4,000" |
| I was scammed some two months ago by a Nigerian man posing as an American, from Boston, Massachusetts, calling himself Thomas Crane. | I was scammed some two months ago by a Nigerian man posing as an American, from Boston, Massachusetts, calling himself Thomas Crane. |
| He sent me a friend request on Facebook, and I just accepted it, partly because I wasn't used to Facebook and also he looked quite nice. | He sent me a friend request on Facebook, and I just accepted it, partly because I wasn't used to Facebook and also he looked quite nice. |
| We very quickly started chatting on Facebook Messenger and he started phoning me. Looking back, I realise I was being groomed. I'm an intelligent woman, but he was clever enough to find a vulnerability in me as a divorced woman. | |
| He got close to me quite quickly and sent me a whole series of photos of himself, all the way back to his childhood. | He got close to me quite quickly and sent me a whole series of photos of himself, all the way back to his childhood. |
| He said he was going to work on a multimillion-pound contract in Spain, and so would soon be in Europe. | He said he was going to work on a multimillion-pound contract in Spain, and so would soon be in Europe. |
| Then he phoned me and said he was actually short of $4,000 - I was the only one who could help him out. I came within seconds of giving him the money, but then I told a friend and she brought me down to reality. | Then he phoned me and said he was actually short of $4,000 - I was the only one who could help him out. I came within seconds of giving him the money, but then I told a friend and she brought me down to reality. |
| At that point I blocked him. | At that point I blocked him. |
| But then a week later he sent me an email saying he had told me some lies, but he really was Thomas Crane. | But then a week later he sent me an email saying he had told me some lies, but he really was Thomas Crane. |
| I unblocked him and started talking to him again. Why did I do that? I wanted to believe it was real, even though there was a voice in my head saying it can't be true. | I unblocked him and started talking to him again. Why did I do that? I wanted to believe it was real, even though there was a voice in my head saying it can't be true. |
| Then I decided to play him at his own game, which was dangerous, but exciting. I wanted to teach him a lesson so I kept in touch, but kept him hanging on - making excuses for not sending him money. | Then I decided to play him at his own game, which was dangerous, but exciting. I wanted to teach him a lesson so I kept in touch, but kept him hanging on - making excuses for not sending him money. |
| I was then out of the blue contacted by a Romanian lady on Facebook who saw the picture of "Thomas Crane" and said she too had been scammed by him. | I was then out of the blue contacted by a Romanian lady on Facebook who saw the picture of "Thomas Crane" and said she too had been scammed by him. |
| At that point I stopped - I told him I knew he was a scammer, and stopped communicating. | At that point I stopped - I told him I knew he was a scammer, and stopped communicating. |
| I never heard from him again, but the whole experience traumatised me. | I never heard from him again, but the whole experience traumatised me. |
| "Somehow I wanted to believe it was true" | "Somehow I wanted to believe it was true" |
| I was scammed last year and I confess I completely lost my sense of reality to the elaborate web of deceit and lies. | I was scammed last year and I confess I completely lost my sense of reality to the elaborate web of deceit and lies. |
| I was in a peculiar place - married but looking for something else. I'm an artist, and was actively seeking a "muse", and trawling various dating sites. | I was in a peculiar place - married but looking for something else. I'm an artist, and was actively seeking a "muse", and trawling various dating sites. |
| I got an email saying I had a match - and that's when the trouble started. | I got an email saying I had a match - and that's when the trouble started. |
| After two or three days, the lady asked me to get instant messenger on Yahoo. From then on for a three-month period I was messaging her and emailing literally her all the time. | After two or three days, the lady asked me to get instant messenger on Yahoo. From then on for a three-month period I was messaging her and emailing literally her all the time. |
| She said she was American, an ex-Playboy model and was now working in Saudi Arabia, doing deals on gems. Later she ended up in Nigeria. | She said she was American, an ex-Playboy model and was now working in Saudi Arabia, doing deals on gems. Later she ended up in Nigeria. |
| How did I fall for all this? Somehow I wanted to believe it was true. And she supplied enough information that it was hard to prove her story completely untrue. | How did I fall for all this? Somehow I wanted to believe it was true. And she supplied enough information that it was hard to prove her story completely untrue. |
| As soon as I started to get suspicious, she would act like a girlfriend I had treated badly, and lure me back in. | As soon as I started to get suspicious, she would act like a girlfriend I had treated badly, and lure me back in. |
| After a few weeks she said she needed help with this and the other. I was really cautious - I asked her what hotel she was in, Googled it and rang the reception. But they might have been in on it. | After a few weeks she said she needed help with this and the other. I was really cautious - I asked her what hotel she was in, Googled it and rang the reception. But they might have been in on it. |
| For three months this was the situation. I was checking facts but ultimately I wanted to believe the romantic fantasy. | For three months this was the situation. I was checking facts but ultimately I wanted to believe the romantic fantasy. |
| Some two months after it started, she said she was having trouble with a deal in Nigeria and needed some money to help grease the wheel of the transaction - £300 or £400. | Some two months after it started, she said she was having trouble with a deal in Nigeria and needed some money to help grease the wheel of the transaction - £300 or £400. |
| I did end up sending the money. But the whole thing stopped quickly after that as my wife warned me if I sent any more money there would be serious consequences. | I did end up sending the money. But the whole thing stopped quickly after that as my wife warned me if I sent any more money there would be serious consequences. |
| The affair was incredibly harmful to my marriage but thankfully with faith and forgiveness we are now in a much better place. | The affair was incredibly harmful to my marriage but thankfully with faith and forgiveness we are now in a much better place. |
| "I feel such a fool - I really thought that this was something special" | "I feel such a fool - I really thought that this was something special" |
| Maybe I am another victim of scamming and have learnt a very expensive lesson - but I am not sure. | |
| I have been writing to someone who I met online in August. We hadn't met because he said he wanted to get to know me as a person before we met. | I have been writing to someone who I met online in August. We hadn't met because he said he wanted to get to know me as a person before we met. |
| He said he had been awarded a civil engineering contract in South Africa worth £3.6m. | He said he had been awarded a civil engineering contract in South Africa worth £3.6m. |
| He was trying to buy a phone to take with him and the iPhone 7 was launched days before he left. He asked if I could get one for him and ship it over. He would pay me back when he got his first payment. | |
| At the time everyone said that I should get the money from him first, but I felt he was genuine. | At the time everyone said that I should get the money from him first, but I felt he was genuine. |
| In the five weeks that he has been in South Africa he said that he's hit some problems and needed to "borrow" some cash. | In the five weeks that he has been in South Africa he said that he's hit some problems and needed to "borrow" some cash. |
| I had no doubt that this was genuine so I wired over £2,000. | I had no doubt that this was genuine so I wired over £2,000. |
| We had discussed his return to the UK - I was going to be meeting him at Heathrow. He was often talking about buying a property near to me. We were planning our Christmas together. | We had discussed his return to the UK - I was going to be meeting him at Heathrow. He was often talking about buying a property near to me. We were planning our Christmas together. |
| Last week he hit me with the next crisis - that the job has been shut down and he needed to pay some taxes upfront, which worked out as £200,000. He asked if I could get a loan to go towards the payment of outstanding taxes. | |
| My heart believed him, but in my head alarm bells kept ringing. | My heart believed him, but in my head alarm bells kept ringing. |
| I was in the process of securing a £100,000 loan and then I saw the BBC article about scamming. There are a number of similarities and it has really scared me. | I was in the process of securing a £100,000 loan and then I saw the BBC article about scamming. There are a number of similarities and it has really scared me. |
| I've asked him to FaceTime me or send a current picture - he said he would but hasn't. | |
| I feel such a fool - I really thought that this was something special and I totally ignored everyone's warnings. | I feel such a fool - I really thought that this was something special and I totally ignored everyone's warnings. |
| by Nathan Williams, UGC and Social News team | by Nathan Williams, UGC and Social News team |