Everyone loves Strictly’s underdog Ed Balls. But he’s shimmied over a low bar

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/24/strictly-ed-balls-shadow-chancellor-dance-legend-politicians

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What is it that the British viewing public love so much about watching people who can’t dance? Well, we do love a tryer. And no one is trying harder than Ed Balls in Strictly Come Dancing. In fact he was trying so hard not to drop his professional partner Katya Jones this weekend during their routine to (Is This the Way to) Amarillo that he came very close to dropping her. It was not the way to Amarillo. It was very nearly the way to casualty with a head injury, narrowly prevented by some frantic grabbing in the chest area.

But do the public voters punish his clumsiness? Of course not. They reward it. And so Balls’s failed lift joins John Sergeant’s “sack of potatoes” routine from 2008 in the Strictly Hall of Try-Hard Fame. This was where, during an attempt at a paso doble, Sergeant pulled Kristina Rihanoff along the floor by the wrists, as she clung on for dear life. Surely these poor women (Rihanoff, born Vladivostok; Jones, born St Petersburg) did not escape the hell of Russia’s merciless dance schools for this?

The pro dancers must find the whole thing – and the public’s delight in it – incredibly perverse. And it is. Whether you approve of Balls’s overnight popularity, his appeal is undeniable. Personally I find his attempts admirable but only vaguely amusing. And I do worry for the sanity and general wellbeing of his dance partner. I’m guessing he wouldn’t try the same on Yvette Cooper in the kitchen. Although maybe she too has a strong core and can support herself without any momentum. (I’ll stop now.)

The real key to his renaissance, though, is the narrow view people have of politicians. Balls is not having to do much at all for people to think that he’s a crazy, fun guy. He just shows up and dances relatively poorly. There are no sideshow gimmicks, no quips or one-liners, no charisma, no showbiz sparkle. His participation alone – willing but inept – is enough to make him seem like “a legend”.

While Balls is an inspiration of sorts in an era where we’ve come to regard virtually all politicians as worms, there’s something a bit tragic about this. Man in Mildly Amusing Diversion Outside Politics Shocker. Do we really credit our public servants with so little imagination, so little talent and so few (it has to be said) balls, that we will applaud them just for turning up, having a go and not being utterly despicable? It would seem so.

Heirs and spares

You don’t have to be a fan of the monarchy to spare a thought for Prince Andrew’s daughters, Eugenie and Beatrice, unceremoniously denied an official public role by their granny. This means they have to get by with proper jobs, no security detail and a “small shared flat” in St James’s Palace. Andrew is said to be furious, but “Charles calls the shots” (says a source) “and he wants the royal family giving value for money”. Now I’m very much a republican (not the Trump variety) but it does seem a bit mean. If they want to go to cut ribbons at charity events, let them. Surely the money rolling in from all the gawping at the Circus of Divinely Beautiful Small Children (AKA Prince George and Princess Charlotte) can pay for that? Or is the money not actually rolling in from that?

Supermarket split

Finally the Brexit result we’ve been waiting for: who voted what according to supermarket. “How a person voted during the EU referendum is no longer simply a dividing line between voting groups, it is also one between consumer groups,” says YouGov. Fully on the fence? Tesco (50% each way) and M&S (49% leave, 51% remain). Most likely to vote remain? Ocado shoppers at 64%. Leave? Iceland shoppers at 67%. They like things frozen in time.