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| ‘Insecure’ Season 1, Episode 4: Career Day | |
| (about 7 hours later) | |
| Episode 4 of “Insecure” feels, at first, like the most minor one yet. But if you peer closer, it’s looking at the same theme from different angles: the sharp divide between the life we dream of and the life we’re actually living. This is never more clear than when Daniel is in Issa’s orbit. | Episode 4 of “Insecure” feels, at first, like the most minor one yet. But if you peer closer, it’s looking at the same theme from different angles: the sharp divide between the life we dream of and the life we’re actually living. This is never more clear than when Daniel is in Issa’s orbit. |
| There is a palpable awkwardness when he shows up at Issa’s job unannounced to apologize for the botched connection we witnessed at the end of the premiere episode. Issa appears to create a noticeable distance between them, perhaps because she knows on some level he’s not just a friend. Despite the fact that her relationship with Lawrence is on solid ground again, Daniel remains a potent temptation. He doesn’t represent only the possibility of a more passionate relationship, he’s also an emblem of the kind of person Issa wants to be: bolder, more powerful, more sure of herself. | There is a palpable awkwardness when he shows up at Issa’s job unannounced to apologize for the botched connection we witnessed at the end of the premiere episode. Issa appears to create a noticeable distance between them, perhaps because she knows on some level he’s not just a friend. Despite the fact that her relationship with Lawrence is on solid ground again, Daniel remains a potent temptation. He doesn’t represent only the possibility of a more passionate relationship, he’s also an emblem of the kind of person Issa wants to be: bolder, more powerful, more sure of herself. |
| The renewed joy she has with Lawrence — joking while buying a couch, talking about their day over pumpkin pie — pales next to this long-running fantasy. She says she’s happy with Lawrence, but her decision to invite Daniel to fill an empty spot at career day at a local high school — and the giddiness in her voice when she talks about him to Molly — says otherwise. Their attraction to one another is evident, even to the teenagers. When Daniel tells Issa he considers her an inspiration, one of the teenagers teases Daniel for having a crush. | The renewed joy she has with Lawrence — joking while buying a couch, talking about their day over pumpkin pie — pales next to this long-running fantasy. She says she’s happy with Lawrence, but her decision to invite Daniel to fill an empty spot at career day at a local high school — and the giddiness in her voice when she talks about him to Molly — says otherwise. Their attraction to one another is evident, even to the teenagers. When Daniel tells Issa he considers her an inspiration, one of the teenagers teases Daniel for having a crush. |
| “Insecure” most deftly sketches Issa’s feelings through her daydreams. It’s when she’s alone in front of the mirror that she’s most willing to reckon with her real feelings. When she looks up from washing her hands in the school bathroom, it isn’t her own reflection she sees but Daniel’s. “Mirror Daniel”, as she calls him, is more charming and honest than his real life counterpart. He’s also prone to talking to Issa with his shirt off. | “Insecure” most deftly sketches Issa’s feelings through her daydreams. It’s when she’s alone in front of the mirror that she’s most willing to reckon with her real feelings. When she looks up from washing her hands in the school bathroom, it isn’t her own reflection she sees but Daniel’s. “Mirror Daniel”, as she calls him, is more charming and honest than his real life counterpart. He’s also prone to talking to Issa with his shirt off. |
| The rapper and singer Ty Dolla Sign also appears in the mirror holding champagne, heightening the already ridiculous daydream. It’s the perfect fantasy. “I’ve always been your ‘what if’ guy,” Mirror Daniel says. It’s all too fitting that this happens in a high school bathroom. High school is when these overheated, over-the-top wishes still seem possible. It’s also when Issa and Daniel first connected. But Issa’s desires aren’t benign, which becomes clear when Molly interrupts Issa’s daydream to ask why Daniel is there. | The rapper and singer Ty Dolla Sign also appears in the mirror holding champagne, heightening the already ridiculous daydream. It’s the perfect fantasy. “I’ve always been your ‘what if’ guy,” Mirror Daniel says. It’s all too fitting that this happens in a high school bathroom. High school is when these overheated, over-the-top wishes still seem possible. It’s also when Issa and Daniel first connected. But Issa’s desires aren’t benign, which becomes clear when Molly interrupts Issa’s daydream to ask why Daniel is there. |
| “Daniel knows I’m with Lawrence,” Issa explains. | “Daniel knows I’m with Lawrence,” Issa explains. |
| “Do you?” Molly asks. | “Do you?” Molly asks. |
| The question cuts so deeply because it expresses a truth that Issa isn’t ready to face. Issa is so trapped in thinking about every “what if” scenario that she can’t see the life she has. And despite Molly’s insight, she has the same problem herself, and is even less self-aware in this regard than Issa is. | The question cuts so deeply because it expresses a truth that Issa isn’t ready to face. Issa is so trapped in thinking about every “what if” scenario that she can’t see the life she has. And despite Molly’s insight, she has the same problem herself, and is even less self-aware in this regard than Issa is. |
| In a Vulture interview, creator Issa Rae spoke about the impetus behind Molly’s story line. “I wanted to put out there what it’s like to date as a black woman and feel like you’re not that desired,” she said. | In a Vulture interview, creator Issa Rae spoke about the impetus behind Molly’s story line. “I wanted to put out there what it’s like to date as a black woman and feel like you’re not that desired,” she said. |
| She added: “But at the same time I wanted to ask, ‘What is it about you?’ I didn’t want to have this thing like, ‘Oh, poor black women victims.’ What can you look at within yourself that might be the problem, too?” | She added: “But at the same time I wanted to ask, ‘What is it about you?’ I didn’t want to have this thing like, ‘Oh, poor black women victims.’ What can you look at within yourself that might be the problem, too?” |
| When I first read that passage, I remember feeling a mix of confusion and anger. Black women are so often told that having even basic desires is asking for too much. Shouldn’t a woman as multifaceted, beautiful and accomplished as Molly have high standards? But in the wake of her decision to break up with Jared, Molly’s standards have taken on a different resonance. The writers aren’t necessarily critiquing Molly about her checklist for a partner. They’re illuminating how the images we have of ourselves and the fantasy lives we turn to can ruin the unexpected ways love can manifest in real life. | When I first read that passage, I remember feeling a mix of confusion and anger. Black women are so often told that having even basic desires is asking for too much. Shouldn’t a woman as multifaceted, beautiful and accomplished as Molly have high standards? But in the wake of her decision to break up with Jared, Molly’s standards have taken on a different resonance. The writers aren’t necessarily critiquing Molly about her checklist for a partner. They’re illuminating how the images we have of ourselves and the fantasy lives we turn to can ruin the unexpected ways love can manifest in real life. |
| Molly is stuck on a fantasy that no man can fulfill. She’s so eager to make it a reality that she expects commitment after just a few dates. She yearns so deeply for a solid relationship that she can’t even enjoy getting to know someone. Is it really surprising that her date is put off by the edge in her voice when she asks why he didn’t text her after a work event the night before — on their third date? | Molly is stuck on a fantasy that no man can fulfill. She’s so eager to make it a reality that she expects commitment after just a few dates. She yearns so deeply for a solid relationship that she can’t even enjoy getting to know someone. Is it really surprising that her date is put off by the edge in her voice when she asks why he didn’t text her after a work event the night before — on their third date? |
| This week’s episode is all about how the dreams we’re so desperate to make into reality can put a stranglehold on our lives. Perhaps that’s why, for all its humor, it had an undercurrent of intense, even melancholy yearning. | This week’s episode is all about how the dreams we’re so desperate to make into reality can put a stranglehold on our lives. Perhaps that’s why, for all its humor, it had an undercurrent of intense, even melancholy yearning. |
| Other Gossip | Other Gossip |
| • With Raphael Saadiq as a composer on the show and Solange Knowles as a musical consultant, it’s no surprise that the series is so sonically rich. I was especially happy to hear a Thundercat song early in the episode. | • With Raphael Saadiq as a composer on the show and Solange Knowles as a musical consultant, it’s no surprise that the series is so sonically rich. I was especially happy to hear a Thundercat song early in the episode. |
| • While shopping for a new couch, Issa and Lawrence see an older couple in the middle of an argument over a lotion pump. It’s a minor event, but Issa’s question to Lawrence about whether they looked like that when they argued at Rite Aid suggests that she still worries about their relationship. | • While shopping for a new couch, Issa and Lawrence see an older couple in the middle of an argument over a lotion pump. It’s a minor event, but Issa’s question to Lawrence about whether they looked like that when they argued at Rite Aid suggests that she still worries about their relationship. |
| • It was only a matter of time before Rasheeda was reprimanded for her ostentatious demeanor at work. While I agree that black women are held to much higher standards in many situations, Rasheeda’s conduct is out of step with the culture of a high end law firm. But the moment in which Molly passes the conference room and sees a nervous Rasheeda surrounded by her white bosses was quietly devastating. | • It was only a matter of time before Rasheeda was reprimanded for her ostentatious demeanor at work. While I agree that black women are held to much higher standards in many situations, Rasheeda’s conduct is out of step with the culture of a high end law firm. But the moment in which Molly passes the conference room and sees a nervous Rasheeda surrounded by her white bosses was quietly devastating. |
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