This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/nov/24/torrents-of-pain-and-therapy-at-the-institute
The article has changed 5 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| Torrents of pain and therapy at the institute Torrents of pain and therapy at the institute | |
| (8 days later) | |
| The geeks fight back. Experts may have had a bit of a kicking over the last six months but it’s looking like they are going to have the last laugh. Or at least chuckle. Laughing may be a social skill too far for an economist. | The geeks fight back. Experts may have had a bit of a kicking over the last six months but it’s looking like they are going to have the last laugh. Or at least chuckle. Laughing may be a social skill too far for an economist. |
| Having had a night to go through the chancellor’s autumn statement, the Institute for Fiscal studies, the UK’s leading independent economic thinktank, had convened in an airless basement – daylight and the IFS are not on speaking terms – off London’s Tottenham Court Road to deliver their verdict. | Having had a night to go through the chancellor’s autumn statement, the Institute for Fiscal studies, the UK’s leading independent economic thinktank, had convened in an airless basement – daylight and the IFS are not on speaking terms – off London’s Tottenham Court Road to deliver their verdict. |
| When an economist looks jolly, then you know there’s bad news on the way. Paul Johnson, director of the IFS, looked positively ecstatic as he began his presentation. “Let’s start with something the government has got right,” he said briskly. This wasn’t going to take long. “Getting rid of the autumn statement is a good thing.” One less budget a year is one less opportunity for a government to screw things up with bad policy. | When an economist looks jolly, then you know there’s bad news on the way. Paul Johnson, director of the IFS, looked positively ecstatic as he began his presentation. “Let’s start with something the government has got right,” he said briskly. This wasn’t going to take long. “Getting rid of the autumn statement is a good thing.” One less budget a year is one less opportunity for a government to screw things up with bad policy. |
| With the positive – there was no need for a plural – out the way, Johnson turned his attention to the content of the chancellor’s statement. Every household was going to be £1,000 worse off in 2021 and if you thought the government was really bothered about those “just about managing” then think about it again. | With the positive – there was no need for a plural – out the way, Johnson turned his attention to the content of the chancellor’s statement. Every household was going to be £1,000 worse off in 2021 and if you thought the government was really bothered about those “just about managing” then think about it again. |
| He had been up all night looking for some measure, any measure, that might help them out and he had drawn a blank. It would be the least well off who would be taking the biggest hit. Thanks Lurch (aka Mr Hammond). Thanks Brexit. | He had been up all night looking for some measure, any measure, that might help them out and he had drawn a blank. It would be the least well off who would be taking the biggest hit. Thanks Lurch (aka Mr Hammond). Thanks Brexit. |
| “The thing is,” he bounced onwards, “the Office for Budget Responsibility’s economic forecasts are noticeably more upbeat than anyone else’s.” Johnson sounded puzzled about this. | “The thing is,” he bounced onwards, “the Office for Budget Responsibility’s economic forecasts are noticeably more upbeat than anyone else’s.” Johnson sounded puzzled about this. |
| “Noticeably more upbeat” in IFS parlance means delusional. Someone must have been shooting up the OBR with liquid valium for them to come up with this doggybollox. | “Noticeably more upbeat” in IFS parlance means delusional. Someone must have been shooting up the OBR with liquid valium for them to come up with this doggybollox. |
| Over in the Treasury, Lurch started sticking pins into effigies of Johnson and his team. Only that morning, he had been happy for the Brexit heavies to rubbish the OBR for being wilfully pessimistic. Now it turned out they had been overly cautious. Bloody experts. They had no business going round sticking their noses into their own business. | Over in the Treasury, Lurch started sticking pins into effigies of Johnson and his team. Only that morning, he had been happy for the Brexit heavies to rubbish the OBR for being wilfully pessimistic. Now it turned out they had been overly cautious. Bloody experts. They had no business going round sticking their noses into their own business. |
| Johnson felt untouchable. He had waited a long time for his revenge on this government and was going to eke out every precious moment. There was no chance Lurch would be able to give any more money to the NHS in this parliament so the Brexiters would have to find their £350m a week from somewhere else. | Johnson felt untouchable. He had waited a long time for his revenge on this government and was going to eke out every precious moment. There was no chance Lurch would be able to give any more money to the NHS in this parliament so the Brexiters would have to find their £350m a week from somewhere else. |
| Growth was terrible, tax receipts had fallen off a cliff and everyone was going to be broke. Apart from the well off. Now he came to think of it, the country would have been a lot better off under Ed Balls’ economic plans. Yes. Things really were that bad. | Growth was terrible, tax receipts had fallen off a cliff and everyone was going to be broke. Apart from the well off. Now he came to think of it, the country would have been a lot better off under Ed Balls’ economic plans. Yes. Things really were that bad. |
| Having indulged his personal gestalt therapy session, Johnson handed over to his troglodytic colleagues. First up was a blinking Thomas Pope who declared that Brexit was going to cost the country an extra £290m a week, but it was the deputy director, Carl Emmerson, who delivered the coup de grace to Lurch’s autumn statement. Whatever private pain Johnson had been going through was nothing compared with the hell that Emmerson had endured at the hands of the Brexiters. | Having indulged his personal gestalt therapy session, Johnson handed over to his troglodytic colleagues. First up was a blinking Thomas Pope who declared that Brexit was going to cost the country an extra £290m a week, but it was the deputy director, Carl Emmerson, who delivered the coup de grace to Lurch’s autumn statement. Whatever private pain Johnson had been going through was nothing compared with the hell that Emmerson had endured at the hands of the Brexiters. |
| The pain spilled out in torrents. He had seen countless fiscal rules come and go and they were all equally worthless. “The Conservatives have broken three of their own in the last 12 months,” he spat with more venom than he had intended. “What’s more, the chancellor has said that compliance with his three new rules can only be assessed every five years, starting after the next election.” He left the futility of those rules hanging in the air. | The pain spilled out in torrents. He had seen countless fiscal rules come and go and they were all equally worthless. “The Conservatives have broken three of their own in the last 12 months,” he spat with more venom than he had intended. “What’s more, the chancellor has said that compliance with his three new rules can only be assessed every five years, starting after the next election.” He left the futility of those rules hanging in the air. |
| “Borrowing-to-public sector debt is at its highest level since the second world war and the Napoleonic wars,” Emmerson continued. “The government has only a one in three chance of meeting its targets. Let’s just hope we get a positive shock to the economy or further austerity will be needed.” | “Borrowing-to-public sector debt is at its highest level since the second world war and the Napoleonic wars,” Emmerson continued. “The government has only a one in three chance of meeting its targets. Let’s just hope we get a positive shock to the economy or further austerity will be needed.” |
| Emmerson didn’t mean that. Bring on Brexit. Bring on austerity. The figures didn’t lie. Even the ones subject to statistical variation. God stand up for spreadsheets. Johnson and Emmerson locked arms and punched the air. Geeks 5: government 0. | Emmerson didn’t mean that. Bring on Brexit. Bring on austerity. The figures didn’t lie. Even the ones subject to statistical variation. God stand up for spreadsheets. Johnson and Emmerson locked arms and punched the air. Geeks 5: government 0. |