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| It's business as usual for Greg Clark's lunchtime listeners | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| When Theresa May became prime minister back in July, she stood in the People’s Republic of Downing Street and pledged to govern on behalf of the downtrodden and dispossessed. Four months later, the business secretary, Greg Clark, came to the house to give a statement on his green paper on corporate governance. | When Theresa May became prime minister back in July, she stood in the People’s Republic of Downing Street and pledged to govern on behalf of the downtrodden and dispossessed. Four months later, the business secretary, Greg Clark, came to the house to give a statement on his green paper on corporate governance. |
| “Ordinary people deserve businesses to be run well,” he purred in the honeyed tones of a graveyard shift local radio presenter accustomed to speaking to three insomniacs at most. The Man with the Golden Voice had been thinking about this subject very hard indeed and what the prime minister had told him to think was that basically business was doing pretty well as it was. | “Ordinary people deserve businesses to be run well,” he purred in the honeyed tones of a graveyard shift local radio presenter accustomed to speaking to three insomniacs at most. The Man with the Golden Voice had been thinking about this subject very hard indeed and what the prime minister had told him to think was that basically business was doing pretty well as it was. |
| Sure there were a few bad apples, such as BHS and Sports Direct, but their failures shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the party for everyone else. So what he had to propose was basically this. Next to nothing. On directors’ remuneration, he was committed to ensuring companies could pay what they like within reason; shareholders could have a binding voice on some aspects of executive pay at some companies. He didn’t say which bits of executive pay or which companies because he was still waiting for someone to be photographed going into Downing Street with the appropriate briefing paper. | Sure there were a few bad apples, such as BHS and Sports Direct, but their failures shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the party for everyone else. So what he had to propose was basically this. Next to nothing. On directors’ remuneration, he was committed to ensuring companies could pay what they like within reason; shareholders could have a binding voice on some aspects of executive pay at some companies. He didn’t say which bits of executive pay or which companies because he was still waiting for someone to be photographed going into Downing Street with the appropriate briefing paper. |
| After playing a smooth, mellow classic to get people in the mood, the Man with the Golden Voice moved on to the government’s promise to give workers a place at board level. This was a tricky one, he admitted. Much as he would have liked to have helped out on this he had come to realise that workers were basically too thick to understand what was going on in the boardroom. So what he was going to propose was that one of the directors already on the board should be given the extra responsibility of explaining to the little people why their pay rise was much smaller than those of the bosses. He couldn’t say fairer than that. | After playing a smooth, mellow classic to get people in the mood, the Man with the Golden Voice moved on to the government’s promise to give workers a place at board level. This was a tricky one, he admitted. Much as he would have liked to have helped out on this he had come to realise that workers were basically too thick to understand what was going on in the boardroom. So what he was going to propose was that one of the directors already on the board should be given the extra responsibility of explaining to the little people why their pay rise was much smaller than those of the bosses. He couldn’t say fairer than that. |
| Clive Lewis, the shadow business secretary, didn’t quite know whether to congratulate the government for some progress, however glacial, on workers’ rights or to call out the prime minister for backtracking on her promises. In the end, he did neither. “We have seen this shift,” he said. In his keenness to make sure the ‘f’ in shift was clearly heard, he quite forgot he was supposed to be asking the Man with the Golden Voice a few questions about the green paper and he was timed out by the Speaker, John Bercow. | Clive Lewis, the shadow business secretary, didn’t quite know whether to congratulate the government for some progress, however glacial, on workers’ rights or to call out the prime minister for backtracking on her promises. In the end, he did neither. “We have seen this shift,” he said. In his keenness to make sure the ‘f’ in shift was clearly heard, he quite forgot he was supposed to be asking the Man with the Golden Voice a few questions about the green paper and he was timed out by the Speaker, John Bercow. |
| This left the Man with the Golden Voice free to imagine the questions he would have liked Lewis to ask and then answer them. “These proposals do put workers and consumers on the board,” he insisted, taking post-truth politics to a new level of no-truth politics. Luckily for the Man with the Golden Voice, there was no one in the house to contradict him as only two Labour backbenchers had bothered to turn up to listen to his statement. So much for standing up for workers’ rights. | This left the Man with the Golden Voice free to imagine the questions he would have liked Lewis to ask and then answer them. “These proposals do put workers and consumers on the board,” he insisted, taking post-truth politics to a new level of no-truth politics. Luckily for the Man with the Golden Voice, there was no one in the house to contradict him as only two Labour backbenchers had bothered to turn up to listen to his statement. So much for standing up for workers’ rights. |
| There again, there were only two female MPs in the Commons – some man must have told the others not to worry their pretty little heads about all this executive pay talk – so the rest of the session was taken up by male Tories going on about the moral superiority of British business and congratulating the minister for the huge step to greater transparency he had made by doing next to nothing. | There again, there were only two female MPs in the Commons – some man must have told the others not to worry their pretty little heads about all this executive pay talk – so the rest of the session was taken up by male Tories going on about the moral superiority of British business and congratulating the minister for the huge step to greater transparency he had made by doing next to nothing. |
| Slowly the soporific power of the Golden Voice took hold and before long he was left talking to himself. I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of putting a late-night radio presenter on at lunchtime. | Slowly the soporific power of the Golden Voice took hold and before long he was left talking to himself. I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of putting a late-night radio presenter on at lunchtime. |