Dangerous Curves

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/06/opinion/dangerous-curves.html

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Long before my friend Roslyn Mays became a pole-dancing sensation, we were teammates on our high school’s soccer field. Even back then Roz was bold and outspoken. I remember her reciting Maya Angelou poems during all-school meetings and leading cheers during soccer games from her position on the defensive line. I was a shy teenager, more comfortable observing people from the sidelines. I was awed by Roz back then and remember wondering what it must feel like to be so self-assured.

We reconnected years later through our close mutual friend Dominique Herard, who co-produced this film. At that point Roz had been teaching pole-dancing classes and participating in amateur pole shows for about five years and had lost three jobs because of the photos and videos of her performances that existed online. She’d made a deliberate decision to not take any of the photos or videos down and instead was using her college business degree to build a career out of her pole-dancing passion. She was about to host an event, called “Dangerous Curves,” to showcase other curvy and plus-size dancers. Dominique and I decided to film it.

In her early 30s, Roz is originally from Long Island and currently based in Brooklyn. After a tentative year balancing credit card debt and picking up temp work while she built her business and became a certified personal trainer, she’s now able to fully support herself by teaching pole workshops, performing in competitions (and the occasional club amateur night for fun) and working as a personal trainer and fitness coach.

During the year we filmed with Roz, other media outlets began to pick up on her story. We saw her portrayed as an “anomaly” and possessor of “self-confidence secrets.” Which is true. But those articles — much like my teenage self — seemed to oversimplify Roz’s experience. Confidence is so often portrayed as a static thing. We either have it or we don’t. In this film, I wanted to represent a version of confidence that is more a moment-by-moment conversation between Roz’s physical presence and the world around her. Her performances are an expression of this conversation. She’s forming herself in front of other people.

Which is a brave thing to do. As women, we get less leeway to be works in progress. We all know, in our own ways, what it feels like to be disapproved of or not taken seriously. Roz is testing boundaries, refusing to fit expectations or to make herself smaller or more palatable for the status quo. This has come at some cost, as she’s lost jobs and faced online and in-person criticism. But as she explores the relationship between her body and the world, she’s providing a space for others to feel safe doing the same.